Feelin' Bummed

wimpy · January 2006

I feel a little ridiculous submitting this since it isn't life or death-just aggravating. I made an appointment for a six month checkup and the medical receptionist guilt tripped me that I should wait until it was time for my yearly physical and then get it all done at once. Then I went in to the doctor and told her that I was worried because I was feeling physically exactly the same way as I had just prior to starting my cancer treatment last time. There was a certain physical feeling that went with having cancer that I am experiencing again (can anyone relate??)and I seem to be see-sawing in weight. There have been other physical changes as well. My doctor (in my mind) behaved somewhat blase about the whole thing and acted like I was some kind of hypochondriac. It made me very sad. Possibly I am a hypochondriac but I have seen a lot of women and men that I have met through treatment have a relapse in 3-5 years. I live in fear that I will be the next one in line. Is anyone out there as scared of this happening as I am??

Mosis50 · January 2006

I am a two year survivor and I am always nervous whenever I go in for my checkup. Don't let anyone guilt you into feeling like you shouldln't stay on top of this. You are right to be careful and remember that YOU are your best advocate. You are not a hypochondriac, you are a survivor and with that comes a whole new set of feelings - and fear is one of them. You are not alone. Anytime you need to vent, you found the right place. God Bless You!!
Susan

mssue · January 2006

Hi,
Long time no see,or hear. I agree with Susan,I hate when people are put off and treated in such a manner.You never know with this stuff,my check up is in March,my first 6 mo.,I'm feeling ok just not looking forward to it.If You continue not to feel right-go old school,get a another opinion.I think we can all relate,keep us posted.
((HUGS))
Sue

ClaudiaAnn · January 2006

I think we all live with fear of cancer returning. That is what keeps us aware. I can tell you what one of my drs. told me when I said, "I know I'm being paranoid checking every little thing." Her reply was "you're not being paranoid, you're being diligent." She also said to keep checking every little thing. My thoughts to you are Keep up the good work! Hugs

ninavincenza · January 2006

I am with you on being scared of recurrence. My treatment ended June '05. I have been to two checkups with my oncol. and my blood tests have been fine. This is a real hard period for us and yes we have every right to be scard. We also have the right to drive our doctors a little crazy too. Afterall, we have to live with this on a day to day basis for the rest of our lives. Be vigilent, I say. Nina

mc2001 · January 2006

Hi Wimpy,
Firstly, why would you allow others to guilt you into feeling this way?? If you feel weird, and want it checked out, then get it done. Why would you let a receptionist and a doctor do this to you? Trust your own instincts. Tell the doctor and his or her receptionist to take a flying leap, and find a good doctor. You need the emotional and medical support. Find another doctor. Hope this helps. God bless.
-Michael

coug90 · February 2006

I know exactly how you feel! I was diagnosed with Stage I invasive cancer in Dec '04. I was lucky - surgery and negative nodes! Had radiation and many many 'tumor boards' on what to do with me. Now I'm a year or so out and getting my checkups is an UPHILL battle. I've now been told that I don't need to go in every 3 months as previously stated. Curious. My Mom who worked with a doc that treated cancer has encouraged me to continue to 'bug' the docs office. She said alot of times they get busy with 'current' cases and you will fall by the wayside. DO NOT FEEL SILLY. If your doctor won't listen to you or does not make you feel important and listened to, find another doctor. Seriously! You are important and you know your body.

One last thing, I got incredibly stressed when it came time for my checkup (a year to the date of starting my cancer journey). I was grumpy with EVERYONE and couldn't shake my bad mood. I had my appointment and it was amazing. My mood shifted to good in the blink of an eye. The mind is a confusing place - hang in there. I hear it's normal to have all the feelings you are having.

Hugs!

krkath · February 2006

Don't feel bad, I get stressed if I have to go in to see my Primary for something small. The amount of time and waiting to hear results when we are diagnosed is agonizing. I used to bring a shooter of Jim Beam with me after I'd see my surgeon when I was first diagnosed.
To this day and I know it's psychological, but I get really scared. And I've only had 2 of my 3 monthly checkups. My 3rd is due Mar.22/06.
And if I'm in too much pain or ANYTHING I call either my Primary or my Onc.
Your NOT alone. Sorry your feelin' Bummed. But we're allowed. Right?

Feelin' Bummed

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