this can't be me

optimist
optimist Member Posts: 51
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I wasn't supposed to get cancer. I lived a happy and lucky life. I have always watched my health and lived smartly. Cancer happens to other people, not me. Maybe, we all have something in common and that is why we got this terrible disease. But, what ever it is, it's not that we weren't good people and did not live a stellar life. Any ideas on why we were selected for this misery?

Comments

  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #2
    I guess this question has at one time or the other been asked by us all. I was pretty devestated when dx'd and wanted answers too. My time at my chemo clinic helped me to stop questioning myself and accept my illness. One of the things that helped me was seeing so many "young" people with cancer. A lad of 17 in my clinic had terminal leukemia.....but his attitude towards his personal fight made me come to realise that my situation, although tenuous at the time was really minor in a way to his. Not because I had a lesser illness or that the cancer I had was possibly cureable.....more so the fact that I was 47 then and had lived for almost 1/2 a century. He was just beginning to live his life and he new that within 6 months his life could very well end.
    I had to kick myself and be thankfull that I, at least had had the chance to get married, have a family and try to be a usefull part of society. This 17 year olds future was bleak...but his outlook in his own mind was not...now that is courage for you!
    I also ask why my father died when I was just 13 y/o and I had to live my early years without his guidance. I have no answer to that either...but one day my time will come too....maybe when I see my dad again he will have the answer.
    Ross and Jen
  • crazylady
    crazylady Member Posts: 543 Member
    #3
    I often asked this question when I was diagnosed. Last month after finding out that the cancer has spread to my lung I came to the conclusion that there is no answer. It is not in my hands, though I'm not sure whose hands it is in. I can only do the treatments, make some changes in my life style and hope that it all works out. Cancer has nothing to do with how good a person you are or how you have chosen to live your life. It just happens. My plans for now are to have quality of life, enjoy my family and the things that I took for granted or was too busy to pay attention to before.
    Jamie
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #4
    I know what you mean. I was supposed to have a stroke and then die. No one in my family ever had cancer. I had no symptoms either, then wham, stage IV colon cancer. As to why, I say why not me. I've thought sometimes too that I got it because I can handle it and be an inspiration to others. Then sometimes I just think it's bad luck. I feel better me than my wife or kids.
  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    #5
    kangatoo said:

    I guess this question has at one time or the other been asked by us all. I was pretty devestated when dx'd and wanted answers too. My time at my chemo clinic helped me to stop questioning myself and accept my illness. One of the things that helped me was seeing so many "young" people with cancer. A lad of 17 in my clinic had terminal leukemia.....but his attitude towards his personal fight made me come to realise that my situation, although tenuous at the time was really minor in a way to his. Not because I had a lesser illness or that the cancer I had was possibly cureable.....more so the fact that I was 47 then and had lived for almost 1/2 a century. He was just beginning to live his life and he new that within 6 months his life could very well end.
    I had to kick myself and be thankfull that I, at least had had the chance to get married, have a family and try to be a usefull part of society. This 17 year olds future was bleak...but his outlook in his own mind was not...now that is courage for you!
    I also ask why my father died when I was just 13 y/o and I had to live my early years without his guidance. I have no answer to that either...but one day my time will come too....maybe when I see my dad again he will have the answer.
    Ross and Jen

    First I want to say to Ross, "what an awesome reply". You really said it so well.

    Second, to you optimist, I agree with Ross, this question has been asked by us all. We all question, and ask, "what did I do wrong?" and, "am I being punished for things I have done?", "why me?".

    The shock of being diagnosed with cancer throws us all for a loop! Soon however we all come to accepting our illness and getting on with life as best we can. I intend to enjoy every day I have left and continue to try to make a difference somehow, some way in my community, with my family and with my friends. In many ways I have learned to appreciate what having cancer has done for me in many positive ways...I love more, listen more, care more and appreciate more. I watch so many people who take so much for granted and wish I could reach out and tell them to just stop a moment and enjoy life.

    Kerry
  • CAMaura
    CAMaura Member Posts: 719 Member
    #6
    PhillieG said:

    I know what you mean. I was supposed to have a stroke and then die. No one in my family ever had cancer. I had no symptoms either, then wham, stage IV colon cancer. As to why, I say why not me. I've thought sometimes too that I got it because I can handle it and be an inspiration to others. Then sometimes I just think it's bad luck. I feel better me than my wife or kids.

    Well, I think I am very, very lucky that I have not experienced a lot of (or any) anger associated with cancer. My cousin died at 22 from lung cancer. This was about 25 yeard ago; and though it was a shock, I felt that she lived a vibrant life and that God called her for a reason. From her experience, I guess I really learned the power of faith, and at least tried to accept that: There Is A Reason....If I wonder, I listen to Alison Krauss sing it -- and it brings me back to center. I guess it also helped that my 'grandparents' were a couple who raised my mother when her parents died and loved her and me so much that I truly came to know the power of God's hand in the situation -- and that his plan prevails.I do hope I am here longer; but if I am chosen to go sooner than later, I have already lived a very good life. I have made people laugh and smile and I speak the truith. If I died very soon, I would only want to be able to place my cats with someone who would care for them in a manner as I have and say a few good-byes. I don't think we are supposed to really understand why....but we are asked to continue to learn from what has been placed in front of us. But, sometimes, when I am dropping things from neuropathy, I periodically lose this joyous acceptance of things..... Take care and all the best -- Maura
  • foxy
    foxy Member Posts: 188 Member
    #7
    Hi Optimist, I lost my very beautiful religious Mum to Cancer and then my brother at age 42, my only sister died as a baby and then I got the big C. I feel I got what I deserved, but my Mum and brother did nothing to deserve their cancer, it just happened. I felt very sorry for myself when all my immediate family was gone, but I now live each day for my husband and adult children. I have a head injured son who will be always be with us he will turn 30 years old on the 16th of this month. I know what you are going through is just so much worse, but I pray to God to be with you. Virginia.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #8
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Moesimo
    Moesimo Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    #9
    Being a nurse, I have seen many nice people have horrible diseases. People respond to badness in so many different ways. I have seen many angry patients, but I have also seen patients that were not angry.

    I have often wondered why I was chosen for this journey, but I never found the answer. I have made sure that I wasn't an angry patient. It is noones fault that I got this horrible illness. I have always tried to be a nice patient. There were many days that I was sad, but not angry.
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    #10
    PhillieG said:

    I know what you mean. I was supposed to have a stroke and then die. No one in my family ever had cancer. I had no symptoms either, then wham, stage IV colon cancer. As to why, I say why not me. I've thought sometimes too that I got it because I can handle it and be an inspiration to others. Then sometimes I just think it's bad luck. I feel better me than my wife or kids.

    Phillieg, you made me laugh with the comment "I've thought sometimes too that I got it because I can handle it and be an inspiration to others. Then sometimes I just think it's bad luck". Sometimes we all feel inspirational, and sometimes we just feel #$%* unlucky! I also always think "why not me?" when i am asked that question... nothing special about me that i should be immune while others suffer :). It is an interesting journey...
  • ron50
    ron50 Member Posts: 1,723 Member
    #11
    Hi Optimist,
    Why ? because some things just are and It doesn't really matter. The fact is we have it and all we can do is deal with it to the best of our ability and with a little help from our friends. Hang tough Ron.

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