afraid of recurrance

I think I can speak for most of us when I say we all go through this. For me, it's a monthly thing (I get my CA125 monthly). Watching those fluctuating numbers can get overwhelming. After chemo you will start to see some consistency in the numbers. Mine were from 14 to 19. It even went as low as 11 at one time. But this past year it started rising, but not coming back down. Right now, I'm still waiting to hear from my doctor who is addressing this 'lymphocele' that I have. I intensified my diet/exercise program and my last test showed a decrease by 4 POINTS! YES! So, I'm hoping my doctor will be as encouraged as I am by that. Anyway, it is the sudden change and/or consisting upswing in numbers that make them take notice. Otherwise, the fluctuations will also occur. Many factors, even something as simple as a cold or stress, can make those numbers change. You will soon find out what you 'baseline range' is.

I too had neuropathy very bad. And I also continued my nutritional and exercise approach. It really, truly helped. All those things you are doing are things that we should all consider doing anyway, even if we were perfectly healthy. It's just a good lifestyle to follow. Everyone will find what works for them.

Do I worry? Sometimes, but my faith and family are my strongest weapon. So, you can bet that many of us are going to be praying for you. And you're at the right place for support and info. Please be sure to visit us again.

Until then, hugs and prayers!
Monika

Hi! I just got back from M D Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. There is more waiting, I have to go back in Dec. I think we are the lucky ones. We may be in limbo and the waiting has always been so hard on me, but we could be in worse shape. We have just got to learn to take it one day at a time. I'm still trying to learn that myself. Good Luck! Paula

I think you have to try and look forward - try to imagine your future the way you want it. Imagine visually what you are going to do with your life. Most importantly, take time out to relax and also - laugh and have fun!! We underestimate the power of the mind sometimes I think. I am clear of a germ cell tumour I once had on my right ovary, and it was stage 3. (this is back in january). The chemo killed it off, but I too am so so scared of having it return one day (Im actually thinking of having my left ovary removed too, just in case, but thats anbother story). I can tell you from experience that the numbness you are experiencing will pass. It takes time. Its just one of those things from the chemo.

I just try and look forward to the future, try to have lots of fun, hang out with people I love and cherish, and create positive energy - for me this is by doing tai chi or yoga or walking my dog on the beach (a very healing thing to do). Also by writing music... Some find it in painting or gardening etc...

In addition to all this mind stuff, a thing I heard about in the grapevine in the oncology ward I was having chemo in was "glyconutrients". I started taking them and vow never to stop. I feel it does some good and I definitely feel good. (Its expensive though). And generally just eat well.

But basically the best advice I can give to you is try and push it out of your mind (I know its hard but you have to try) and focus on your future and what you want to do with your life, and have fun while getting there )