I'm new & would like to talk

MichelleF
MichelleF Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am one month out from treatment. I had stage two with one lymph node involved. I live in a remote area of Alaska so I had my treatment in Washington State and stayed with my mother. So, I spent the summer missing my husband and son. Now, I'm back but my husband is very busy so I'm alone or just with my 3 year old son most of the time. So, I feel lonely a lot. I find my self becoming emotional very easily. Does anyone out there expereince that? Work makes me feel good and helps me feel like I'm reconnecting with "normal." I am still very tired and achy, so I'm only working part-time for the moment. Being in a remote area is motivating me to find support via the web. I was given pain meds for the aches but they make me sleepy and constipated so I'm trying to wean myself off of them. I just want to feel and be "normal" again. Anyone out there feel the same way? Would love to hear your experiences. Michelle F.

Comments

  • roxanne53
    roxanne53 Member Posts: 154
    #2
    Yes, I have felt this way when I had been just finished with treatments and during treatments for that matter. I was able to work part time but it still left one in state of alone-ness.
    I know many of us have experienced all or part of what you are saying. especially right after treatments. my last treatment was 12/23/03 with radiation. had mascetomy and chemo before all that.

    You are very welcome to contact me through this web site. We all have an email here. There is a chatroom that is good to get connected with here. This will hook you up with others who have cancer, in treatment, done with the treatments, caregivers, etc. this helped me shortly after treatments to connect online.

    Take care and welcome to you here.
    Roxanne
  • pammycake
    pammycake Member Posts: 35
    #3
    Hi. I am doing radiation now and I can understand how you are feeling. I am now suffering from bout of depression. Last night it hit me. My husband is a veteran from the 1st gulf war and he lost his wife and 2 children in a car accident last October. So, he's been very depressed and I've been dealing with that too. My knees and left heel hurt me and yes I too find that I don't have the energy level I used to. I make myself get up and do things. I absolutely refuse to let this experience to change me. I have always been outgoing and perky and bubbly and I will NOT change no matter what. I do hope that you find the support that you are looking for. This is a great website and the chat room is great. I love it and try to go in everyday. Just remember no matter how bad you feel or how down you get, YOU ARE A SUVIVOR!!!!
  • LorettaB
    LorettaB Member Posts: 51
    #4
    Hi, Michelle,

    I stayed pretty weepy up until 2 weeks ago. I just finished rads 2 weeks ago so during the whole time of treatment (8 chemo treatments as well), if anyone asked me in depth about how I was doing, I usually got weepy.

    I am in total agreement with you about the work thing. I feel much better when I am working and being creative.
    I worked throughout treatment and some days were really tough. The pain from the Taxol made it difficult to walk. Pain meds helped but I had the same reaction as you so I quick taking them after a while.

    I just emailed a friend here on the boards and that word "normal" came up. My "normal" now includes the awareness of my mortality in the back of my mind so I am trying to live in the now. I notice things like the beautiful afternoon light in my living room. I give people more smiles and I try to be more patient. I don't worry as much about the small stuff. I am looking forward to the holidays...kids at Halloween, family at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I think that my normal is going to be more enhanced because it is so much more precious.

    We all have email addresses here so don't hesitate to write. I check the boards often.

    LorettaB
  • Wendy59105
    Wendy59105 Member Posts: 17
    #5
    "Normal".........yeah, I suppose the word has changed forever in our lives. And no matter who or what kind of support you have, it is a very alone disease. I miss the innocence of everyday life when I did not think about my own mortality......but here it is, so now I must learn how to deal with it and move on. I had surgery several weeks ago and start radiation next week......at least you are done! I wish you well.
  • laroche2k3
    laroche2k3 Member Posts: 1
    #6
    I'm new, I was diagnosed on 10-7-05. I'm at stage 2a and I don't know what is going to happened. Because I'm not working at the moment my doctor has me out because I just went through surgery. I cry alot when I'm by myself. I don't know when treatment is going to start but I'm doing the 4 session treatment. thanks Debra
  • SweetSue
    SweetSue Member Posts: 217
    #7
    It takes time before u can even get through a day without thinking of cancer. Eventually, u will reach this point. Hang in there!!!!!
    Sue
  • LorettaB
    LorettaB Member Posts: 51
    #8
    laroche2k3 said:

    I'm new, I was diagnosed on 10-7-05. I'm at stage 2a and I don't know what is going to happened. Because I'm not working at the moment my doctor has me out because I just went through surgery. I cry alot when I'm by myself. I don't know when treatment is going to start but I'm doing the 4 session treatment. thanks Debra

    Hello, Debra,

    I was diagnosed 2a back in February and I am all done with treatment.

    It will be over soon...so soon that you will look back and see how strong you were.

    It's scary, I know. But I am here to tell you, it WILL get better!

    Cyber Hugs,
    LorettaB
  • JillSt
    JillSt Member Posts: 3
    #9
    Wendy59105 said:

    "Normal".........yeah, I suppose the word has changed forever in our lives. And no matter who or what kind of support you have, it is a very alone disease. I miss the innocence of everyday life when I did not think about my own mortality......but here it is, so now I must learn how to deal with it and move on. I had surgery several weeks ago and start radiation next week......at least you are done! I wish you well.

    I agree with Wendy, "normal" has a whole new meaning. My normal now is getting up every morning and going to the hospital for my radiation treatment. Normal is having a long nap every afternoon. Normal will now be that I'm a cancer survivor. And I do feel very lonely, it's my body, no one elses. I look forward to getting my schedule back to where it was before I was diagnosed. I find a lot of comfort in talking to others who have survived, especially those who tell me 'I was diagnosed 25 years ago'!.
  • angelpie7me
    angelpie7me Member Posts: 11
    #10
    SweetSue said:

    It takes time before u can even get through a day without thinking of cancer. Eventually, u will reach this point. Hang in there!!!!!
    Sue

    I can't wait until that day comes Sue!!!!! Thanks for giving me some hope too!
    Angelpie
  • Daviki
    Daviki Member Posts: 1
    #11
    Wendy59105 said:

    "Normal".........yeah, I suppose the word has changed forever in our lives. And no matter who or what kind of support you have, it is a very alone disease. I miss the innocence of everyday life when I did not think about my own mortality......but here it is, so now I must learn how to deal with it and move on. I had surgery several weeks ago and start radiation next week......at least you are done! I wish you well.

    Wendy, hang in there. The time will come when you will gain a sense of normalacy back in your life. I felt the same as you, but now I can honestly say that cancer or my mortality does not invade my every thought. You learn to move on you'll see. Remember you must live one day at a time. That is all you can do. Reach out to your loved ones. All the best
  • slyng
    slyng Member Posts: 12
    #12
    laroche2k3 said:

    I'm new, I was diagnosed on 10-7-05. I'm at stage 2a and I don't know what is going to happened. Because I'm not working at the moment my doctor has me out because I just went through surgery. I cry alot when I'm by myself. I don't know when treatment is going to start but I'm doing the 4 session treatment. thanks Debra

    Hi-
    I was diagnosed exactly one month before you. I'm also a 2A. Had a tumor a little over 2 cm, HER negative, Estrogen negative. It had not spread, but I'm 36 years old, and the tumor was stage 3. I have to do 8 rounds of chemo and then radiation. I'm curious about your details and why you only have 4 rounds - you're lucky about that....I wish you luck with your treatments...
  • slyng
    slyng Member Posts: 12
    #13
    laroche2k3 said:

    I'm new, I was diagnosed on 10-7-05. I'm at stage 2a and I don't know what is going to happened. Because I'm not working at the moment my doctor has me out because I just went through surgery. I cry alot when I'm by myself. I don't know when treatment is going to start but I'm doing the 4 session treatment. thanks Debra

    Hi again,
    I meant grade 3, not stage 3...
    Stacey

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