Hospice

Btrcup
Btrcup Member Posts: 286
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi all. Just wanted to drop a quick note and let you all know that Scott is going into Hospice. There is a place called Gilcrist down here that, from what I hear, is a wonderful place.

Scott is more comfortable now. He is on a lot of morpine, but still has his sense of humor. His oncology nurses came to visit him. They have been with us from the beginning and we've both developed friendships with them. When he would go for chemo, they would banter back and forth. One of the nurses is single, and he would always tease her. When she was hugging him goodbye, he told her he wants to "get with her." When she said his wife was in the room, he said "send her for coffee or something."

He's still somewhat coherent, but the morphine plays tricks on his mind. I brought the kids up there and he was so happy to see them. Kerilyn, our little girl, will be 5 tomorrow. I pray nothing happens on her birthday. I haven't really discussed death with her. I have a book called "When A Dinosour Dies" which explains death to children. I have started reading it to them. I have sat down with our son, Scotty, who is 8 and explained things to him. He is so upset. He said he wants to go to heaven with Daddy. Scott told him he needs to stay hear with Mom & Keri to take care of them. He is the man of the house now.

I HATE CANCER!!! What do you tell an 8 year old when he asks why did God create cancer. We have been having a lot of visitors. Some of Scott's friends from NJ and PA will be coming to visit today and tomorrow. HIs family came down yesterday and are coming back Sunday. Don't understand why they are leaving in the first place, but don't really care anymore.

Well I'm starting to ramble. Haven't slept much. I'll talk to you all soon.

Linda

Comments

  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    #2
    Linda,

    You are in my prayers. This is a very difficult time for your family and my heart breaks for you. Stay strong for those 2 beautiful children. You will be ok.

    with much sorrow in my heart,

    Kerry
  • alihamilton
    alihamilton Member Posts: 347 Member
    #3
    Hi Linda,

    Even though your heart is breaking, you are so brave. I am glad Scott is comfortable and still in good spirits....that will help you too. This is the toughest time of your life and your strength and love for Scott and your two beautiful children will bring you through it.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Ali
  • Moesimo
    Moesimo Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    #4
    Linda,

    I am sitting here crying after reading your post. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I do agree that hospice is best for your husband right now and that they will help him and you through this. I know that this had to be a tough decision. I am sending a great big hug your way and hug those 2 kids for me also.

    Make sure that you take care of yourself also. You will need to be strong for your kids. They are at such a young age, they will help you through this. When my older kids were 2 and 5
    I had a premature baby that spent almost 8 months in a NICU and passed away unexpectedly after being home for only 5 weeks. He died on his 9 month BD. I thought I would never get through that, but I did. Because I had a 2 and 5 YO, I had to be strong for them and they kept some normalcy to my life. I had to get out of bed to make them breakfast. They kept me going during a very difficult time. Your kids will keep you going too.

    As always you remain in my prayers.

    Maureen
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    #5
    ((((((Linda))))))

    Oh honey, who has the answers....I don't know how you tell children. I know I just allowed my kids to see my grief. My heart goes out to you all.

    May God grant you the strength to get through each hour, each day.

    peace, emily
  • CAMaura
    CAMaura Member Posts: 719 Member
    #6
    Linda - Wishing you so much strength, patience and peace at this incredibly difficult time for all of you. I am so glad that Scott and you are receiving the needed help; the sense of calm is so much more apparent in your posting. I am sure that you sometimes ask yourself: Why is God placing these incredibly hard burdens on us? Why our children?....These are the questions going through my mind right now....I dearly wish an army of angels to be by all of your sides to comfort you and give you understanding. Love and prayers to you - Maura
  • themis01
    themis01 Member Posts: 167
    #7
    Thinking of you and Scott daily. I am so sorry this is happening to your family.
    Erika
  • Kanort
    Kanort Member Posts: 1,272 Member
    #8
    Linda,

    I am so sorry. I agree with Emily to let your children see your emotions.

    May Scott, you, and your family be surrounded by love during this most difficult of times. I will keep you all in my prayers and in my heart.

    God Bless You,

    Kay
  • ramona41
    ramona41 Member Posts: 72
    #9
    sending you a hug.. sad to hear the news. please know we are all thinking of you and sending you peace.. big hugssss..ramona
  • jsabol
    jsabol Member Posts: 1,145 Member
    #10
    (((((((Linda)))))))
    You have continued to find the strength to deal with Scott's illness with love and grace; I know you will find a way to see your kids through this difficult time. The hospice staff will help, too.
    You all remain in my thoughts, with wishes for continued comfort for Scott, you and the kids.
    Judy
  • oneagleswings
    oneagleswings Member Posts: 425 Member
    #11
    Linda:
    I too am at a loss to explain to my children why God creates cancer and can't stop bad things happening. Just please know that our prayers go out to you and your family to have peace in your hearts and know that hospice will be a gentle place for Scott. My husbands fear is that our children will forget him- if Scott feels this (or you) tell him not to worry- I lost my Dad when I was 5 (45 years ago) and I still hold him close in my heart and my children know all about what a wonderful man he was. Our bodies may die but THE PERSON is kept alive in memories..."this too shall pass" Linda...may God grant you all His strength.
    Bev
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #12
    oneagleswings said:

    Linda:
    I too am at a loss to explain to my children why God creates cancer and can't stop bad things happening. Just please know that our prayers go out to you and your family to have peace in your hearts and know that hospice will be a gentle place for Scott. My husbands fear is that our children will forget him- if Scott feels this (or you) tell him not to worry- I lost my Dad when I was 5 (45 years ago) and I still hold him close in my heart and my children know all about what a wonderful man he was. Our bodies may die but THE PERSON is kept alive in memories..."this too shall pass" Linda...may God grant you all His strength.
    Bev

    Linda. The words have all been said here....words that in some way I hope will comfort you. Expressions from friends who may be so far apart from you, Scott and your children but that are filled with love, comfort and support. Jen and I have you both in our hearts. You know kanga is a sentimental bloke.....deep down he is also very sad for for you.
    Luv and huggs, Ross and Jen
  • jana11
    jana11 Member Posts: 705
    #13
    Linda,

    I am so very sorry. You are facing such a horrible time. Thank goodness for humor, sounds like Scott still has it :)

    As with everyone else here, you and your family remain in my heart. I hate cancer too, very much. We each have our own separate battles, but unite in spirit.

    I hope you were able to get some rest. Continue as you are, being there for the kids and for Scott; and try to be there for yourself too.

    Ramble to us anytime. jana
  • taunya
    taunya Member Posts: 390 Member
    #14
    Dear Linda,
    I am so sorry that your family is going through this. I HATE cancer too. I am sending all the positive energy I can muster over to you and Scott and the kids. You are such a wonderful person, I wish I could do something to really help you and the kids. Love to you all.
    Taunya
  • nettie4
    nettie4 Member Posts: 145
    #15
    linda. as tears are flowing from my eyes like a raging river i know that is nothing compared to what you are going through. our kids are about the same age. does the hospice have a program to help the kids? all you must be going thourgh. may the Lord grant you peace beyond all understanding and the a strength that will carry you through all this trial. if i could i would give you a big ole hug and some for those little sweeties too, The Lord be with all of you.

    nettie
  • deneenb
    deneenb Member Posts: 130
    #16
    Linda,

    My heart breaks for you imagining what you must be feeling and going through right now. I pray for you to have the strength and courage you need to get through this. We are all here for you and you, Scott and the children are in my constant thoughts and prayers.

    Deneen
  • scouty
    scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
    #17
    My dear Linda,

    This was probably the hardest post I knew I needed to respond to. There is no way I could say much to help you, but I want you to know that you SHOULD feel my support. I have told you before that since we talked on the phone, I feel close to you. I am right with you honey. If you need to talk to me, do it laying in your bed at night. If you need my energy and strength for your family, just ask. I am fortunate that I can offer that. If you ask, I will be there even if it only in spirit. I promise you will feel it.

    Lisa P.

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