Another Update

Btrcup · September 2005

Hi all, it's been a hell of a weekend. I had to call an ambulance for Scott Saturday. His pain was excrutiating. It started out as a dull pain in his groin area and worked its way down his thigh and into his back now. He has some kind of blood infection. They have him on antibiotics. They started him on morphine but the pain would not go away. Then they added Neurotin (sp??) and that has helped some.

His docs are hoping the pain is being caused by the infection. If/when the antibiotics clear up the infection, hopefully the pain will go away. They said it could also be a tumor hitting a nerve, or the cancer going into his muscles. If either of these are the case, there is nothing they can do but keep him doped up.

We are so scared right now. He wants to go to hospice if the pain continues. Right now he's comfortable (somewhat) but it's just one thing after another.

My neighbors have been wonderful. They took care of our kids all weekend. I do have some help here. My one neighbor has been cutting the grass and another has been helping with the pool.

Scott's parents are still in denial. Scott and I both know that chemo is not helping, but his parents think if he keeps getting it, he'll get better. I think I need to have a long talk with them today when they come down. I just don't know what else to do. I can't imagine what they are going through, losing a son. The love I share with Scott is so strong, but I don't think it could be as strong as the love we have for our children. Well, you know what I mean..it's just a different kind of love. I just want Scott to be comfortable and pain-free. One of the worst feelings in the world is the helplessness I feel right now. I know just being there for him is good, but sometimes I wish I could be a genie and "blink" this all away.

Well, I'm off to the hospital. Thank you everyone here who has been my support....my rock. I could never get through this without you all.

Linda

joanneire · September 2005

Dear Linda
I know I'm on the other side of the world (Dublin) but I'm thinking of you, Scott and your family at this horrible time. I honestly can't imagine what you are going through, but please know that you are in my thoughts.

Joanne xx

2bhealed · September 2005

((((((linda)))))))

Glad to hear that you will engage hospice.

I understand your feelings of helplessness. It is torturous for both sides, I am sure, for different reasons.

I think you're right--it's time for a good talk with his parents. My father was in denial up until the day before she died. I had to sit him down and share my heart about how his denial was hurting ALL of us. It created stress for my sister who was dying cuz he was not letting her go. Truthfully, who can blame a father who wants to hold onto his daughter. But it was getting in the way of a peaceful end time for all of us when he went in there and tried to cheer her on to better health.

After our talk, the next day he went in there and let her go.....he told her. She died that morning. I swear she held on until her daddy could come to terms with her dying.

My heart is with you all. Just know that.

peace, emily

kerry · September 2005

Oh Linda,

I am so sorry..for you, Scott, your children and his parents and all who love your family. You have been so strong throughout all of this and have stood steadfast beside Scott. I too can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child, so I sympathize with his parents. The whole situation is devastating.

You will be in my prayers and thoughts as you venture down this road. Please come here for comfort as you need us. We are here for you.

Wishing you love, peace and comfort.

Kerry

Kanort · September 2005

Dear Linda,

I hope you talk with Scott's parents is productive and that they will be able to support Scott's decision if he chooses to go with Hospice. I pray that Scott will be comfortable and pain free.

Sending you love,

Kay

goldfinch · September 2005

Linda,
I just want to wrap my arms around you. I wish for you strength,support and peace of mind to get through this period.
Mary

nanuk · September 2005

Linda: Have they taken pictures?(MRI, CT, etc)I'll pray that the pain is just pressure on a nerve from infection or swelling.. people can be wonderful when you need them-bless your neighbors. Please keep us updated.. Bud

neeliec · September 2005

Wow, Linda! I am sooo sorry!!! You have soo much going on!! My prayers with you and for you and Scott. May God give you peace, and wisdom to deal with all-- Scott's parents in particular.

Moesimo · September 2005

Linda,

I think of you and Scott often and wish I could come and help you. Take all the help that anyone offers. You need to take care of your self also.

You and your family will remain in my prayers.

Maureen

jsabol · September 2005

Linda,
My heart and prayers go out to all of you. If you do have hospice involvement, they can help with discussing things with Scott's partents, as well as giving you another source of support. I would highly recommend getting them involved.
Judy

bsrules · September 2005

Linda,

Sweety my heart goes out to you!!!! I only know to well hwo your heart is breaking!!! You are doing everything right!!!! I know how hard it is to seeing the man you love in so much pain and there is nothing you can do. I too wanted to be the jeanny and just blink and everything would be as it was and that the nightmare would end.

Hospice is a GREAT organization!!!! They were wonderful with Bob even though at the onset he didn't feel he was ready for them. They didn't push they just talked to him and help him through some of the tough days esp. in the beginning when he didn't want to admit to himself that he needed some help with the pain. Also they were wonderful with handling the emotions from Bob and myself.

I just want you to know that you are NOT alone and that we are all here for you!!!! You all were there and still are here for me and I hope that I can return the favor and help you if you want in some way!!! I am here for you if you need to talk!!!

Best Wishes and All my prayers for Scott's comfort and yours!!!!!

Love Always,

Sue

kangatoo · September 2005

bsrules said:
Linda,

Sweety my heart goes out to you!!!! I only know to well hwo your heart is breaking!!! You are doing everything right!!!! I know how hard it is to seeing the man you love in so much pain and there is nothing you can do. I too wanted to be the jeanny and just blink and everything would be as it was and that the nightmare would end.

Hospice is a GREAT organization!!!! They were wonderful with Bob even though at the onset he didn't feel he was ready for them. They didn't push they just talked to him and help him through some of the tough days esp. in the beginning when he didn't want to admit to himself that he needed some help with the pain. Also they were wonderful with handling the emotions from Bob and myself.

I just want you to know that you are NOT alone and that we are all here for you!!!! You all were there and still are here for me and I hope that I can return the favor and help you if you want in some way!!! I am here for you if you need to talk!!!

Best Wishes and All my prayers for Scott's comfort and yours!!!!!

Love Always,

Sue

Linda..you and I both know that no words can be expressed enough to tell you how close we all are as a "family" here. But know this gal....we need you as much as you need us! For you to be able to come here and share your great need at this time is indeed comforting to everyone here. I know that in some way we are able to share with you this difficult time. Jen and I are always thinking of you. Scott is never far from our thoughts.
huggs, Ross and Jen

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