Mom Surgery Going Badly

chellesandell
chellesandell Member Posts: 12
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Mom had her surgery yesterday at 8:30am, at 6 pm they told us that Hysterectomy almost complete except for part of cervix scarred and attached to Bladder too hard to remove with lots of bleeding. Said there was excessive scarring from Colostomy surgery and Radiation. When they started colorectal tumor removal they were able to get about half but her Sacrum? veins started bleeding and the more they tried to fix them the harder they bled. At 6 they were able to stop bleeding, stop surgery until bleeding stable, packed her ab and put her in ICU until sure the bleeding has stopped. But at 6:30 realized bleeding again and took her back to surgery. In surgery from 8:30 am to 7:00 pm. They will try to complete cancer resection Friday but if bleeding continues they may not be able to take rest of it out and will stop bleeding and sew her up. I am so scared, not only about bleeding but what if they can't take rest of cancer out? Everyone is making such a big deal about how strong I am, handling two family businesses I took over when Mom got sick - I have two kids (11 & 2) well, three if you count wonderful husband ;) and being Mom's soul caregiver - her Sister is trying to help more and is at hospital tonite so I can do payroll and end-of-month invoices. It seems like I am on autopilot and just take care of needs as they come up. But it seems as if even a puppy commercial gets me teary-eyed. I was driving home from hospital and started boo-hooing in rush-hour traffic because Tim McGraws song about dying came on. Sorry to ramble but can't seem to do it in front of anyone else. Not sure Husband could handle it if I broke down. He is wonderful but we joke that I wear pants in family. Aunt called minutes ago and is now saying that the stuff being pulled out of Moms open wound is too bloody and there is something seeping on bandages - think she is leaking from Colon??? They are going to give her more blood and keep eye on her tonight. May not be able to finish surgery as planned. Not sure what Mom is doing right now? Is she bleeding internally? Dr. seems concerned but isn't talking any emergency procedures as of minute. She had 12 units of blood yesterday during surgery - good or bad?

Comments

  • MJay
    MJay Member Posts: 132
    #2
    I am so sorry for your worries. It is ok to cry, vent, scream, holler and cry some more. Cancer just sucks. It's horrible to go through it and it is horrible to watch someone go through it. Come here anytime to unload. We will be praying for you and your family!!
  • chellesandell
    chellesandell Member Posts: 12
    #3
    MJay said:

    I am so sorry for your worries. It is ok to cry, vent, scream, holler and cry some more. Cancer just sucks. It's horrible to go through it and it is horrible to watch someone go through it. Come here anytime to unload. We will be praying for you and your family!!

    Thank you! After taking a long (teary) shower and venting here I am ready for sleep and a new day! Thank you so much for your prayers!
  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    #4
    Let us help you get through this horrible time. Please feel free to come here to vent, cry or just be angry. As was said before, this disease is awful - cancer really sucks. You and your mom will be in our prayers and thoughts.

    Kerry
  • steved
    steved Member Posts: 834 Member
    #5
    Your mother is going through one of the hardest things that we can subject teh body to- prolonged and repeated physical trauma and her body is obviously fighting hard to get through it all. The team sound like they are handling things well and not trying to do everything in one go or do any heroics. At the same time they are persisting and not giving up on her despite it being anything but straight forward.
    There is little real advise or insight anyone can offer you at the moment and really only time will allow things to become clearer for you. This leaves you in teh terrible position of sitting and waiting- perhaps feeling useless and unable to help in any way. However it also sounds like you are doing everything you can to help - both on a practical level and on the level of caring for those around you. this is a remarkable achievement considering everything taht is going on.
    No one can tell you how to best get through this- some will find keeping busy and distracted will help, others need to take time out and allow themselves to focus on teh emothional trauma to come to terms with it. find what is right for you and do it. Accept that you too will need support during this time and that may mean leaning on your husband who normally leans on you for a change.
    Make sure that you are coping in among all this as only then will you be able to really support your mom when she needs you. Come here to vent and scream as often as you need and let us know how things get on. We will be thinking of you,
    Steve
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #6
    steved said:

    Your mother is going through one of the hardest things that we can subject teh body to- prolonged and repeated physical trauma and her body is obviously fighting hard to get through it all. The team sound like they are handling things well and not trying to do everything in one go or do any heroics. At the same time they are persisting and not giving up on her despite it being anything but straight forward.
    There is little real advise or insight anyone can offer you at the moment and really only time will allow things to become clearer for you. This leaves you in teh terrible position of sitting and waiting- perhaps feeling useless and unable to help in any way. However it also sounds like you are doing everything you can to help - both on a practical level and on the level of caring for those around you. this is a remarkable achievement considering everything taht is going on.
    No one can tell you how to best get through this- some will find keeping busy and distracted will help, others need to take time out and allow themselves to focus on teh emothional trauma to come to terms with it. find what is right for you and do it. Accept that you too will need support during this time and that may mean leaning on your husband who normally leans on you for a change.
    Make sure that you are coping in among all this as only then will you be able to really support your mom when she needs you. Come here to vent and scream as often as you need and let us know how things get on. We will be thinking of you,
    Steve

    Keep yah chin up Chelle. I am absolutely certain that you relate here many of the feelings of carers and family, particularly as your mum is having such a hard time. I went thru a horrid situation during my surgery. The epidural I had did not paralize me between the breast bone and my belly button. Consequently I woke up in the ICU screaming in pain. My wife Jen was beside herself worrying what would happen. The docs took 6 hours to stabilse me. The reason I tell you this here is to highlight that there can be and often are complications. This is very frightening for all. I am sure that your mum is in good hands. They will monitor her and do what they think is best and necessary to make her comfortable and to help her recover. My heart goes out to you. Keep us informed. We are all here to help you get thru this horrible time.
    Huggs from oz, Ross n Jen
  • chellesandell
    chellesandell Member Posts: 12
    #7
    kangatoo said:

    Keep yah chin up Chelle. I am absolutely certain that you relate here many of the feelings of carers and family, particularly as your mum is having such a hard time. I went thru a horrid situation during my surgery. The epidural I had did not paralize me between the breast bone and my belly button. Consequently I woke up in the ICU screaming in pain. My wife Jen was beside herself worrying what would happen. The docs took 6 hours to stabilse me. The reason I tell you this here is to highlight that there can be and often are complications. This is very frightening for all. I am sure that your mum is in good hands. They will monitor her and do what they think is best and necessary to make her comfortable and to help her recover. My heart goes out to you. Keep us informed. We are all here to help you get thru this horrible time.
    Huggs from oz, Ross n Jen

    Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and prayers. They have had to back off several times because of bleeding but was able to remove all of cancer which had spread much more extensively than they thought. They are monitoring her and trying to keep her sedated if her blood pressure will remain stable. She tried to kick my hand yesterday ;) when I rubbed her foot. But seems to be stable and they will close her belly tomorrow. We didn't get much sleep last night and what we did was light because someone snuck into waiting room while we were sleeping night before and stole a womans purse. How sad for her to have to deal with something so stressful on top of what is going on. The bleeding seems to be slowing and on top of 12 units in surgery they have had to give her four more - I think putting her at high risk for chest congestion and infection. But she is a fighter and I know she can do it. Boy is she going to be surprised that a week will pass before she wakes up. Now I am going to have to let one of our employees go because she picked up her paycheck early (after being told not to 15 minutes earlier) and didn't show up for work Friday. She thinks I am in the city and that I am unaware of what is going on. But thank you so much again for support!!
    Chelle

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