Mother of Stepchildren has Breast Cancer

Suzy41
Suzy41 Member Posts: 10
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I would like to get advice on helping the kids deal with their mothers cancer. She is in stage four and has had her breast removed. She was diagnosed two years ago and at that time only given three months to live. She is in remission now and taking a chemo pill. The kids ages are 17,13, and 9. I love these kids and do'nt want them to feel that I'm going to take their mothers place if she gets more sick.

Comments

  • Ellison
    Ellison Member Posts: 68
    #2
    Hi,

    Not sure how to approach this either, but have you talked to her doctor and asked for some suggestions. Just a thought...

    Or maybe even contacting the American Cancer Society in your area for suggestions. I know the insurance I have offers family counceling on these matters.

    This is a tough one, I know. I have three children. At times it has been very hard on them. I keep in constent communication. They all live in other states. I am so glad to hear she is in a remission. I think that is a miracle in itself. I also have stage IV and doing treatments. Your whole life changes and that means not only for us but for all our loved ones.
    Living one day at a time is the only way I do it. I think for me having this disease has been a process of fear, anxiety, stress,anger, greatful to have good days. Thankful for my loving family and friends that hang in there with me. It's a mixed bag. I stay focused on the good days and when they are not good, I go with the flow and know this too shall pass.

    My last suggestion is; talking to the Mother about your concerns. This I think would be my first approach. She is very lucky to have you. I know you want the best for her and the children.

    My prayers and thoughts are with you all...
    elli
  • Idalia
    Idalia Member Posts: 76
    #3
    Dear Suzy, I have three kids (19, 18 and 13 years old) and we have been dealing with my breast cancer since 2/03. I have been thru a couple surgeries and multiple courses of radiation and chemo. I am stage four, bald as a baby and dealing with painful bone mets in my spine and arm. Sometimes my kids will rub my back or lie down with me while I rest, but they are teenagers. Death has no meaning for them. Their emotional energy is directed to themselves and their friends. Having a mom with cancer barely registers on their consciousness. They do hate pity or people asking how their mom is doing! Be there for the kids, ask how they are doing and don't feel rejected if they are fine. They aren't suppressing their real feelings; these are their real feelings! Children live in the present and their mom is still with them.

Discussion Boards