anger

Rogar
Rogar Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am about 1 1/2 years free of treatments and cancer and I am sooo angry right now. I am not sure why. Things have changed and I think I am made that Cancer changed my life. Changed my appearance, changed the way I feel, and changed my relationship with my husband. Does anyone feel this way even after 2 years?

Comments

  • pammycake
    pammycake Member Posts: 35
    #2
    Hi. I'm not 2 years into this whole ordeal, but I can understand your anger. I just remarried in January 2005 and my husband lost his wife and 2 children in a car accident last year and I just divorced a horrible man. So, me having cancer was just another burden to add to what we were already enduring. I know that I have a long road ahead of me, but I have really been trying to stay positive. Despression was my best friend not too long ago, but I realized that God has a plan for me and unfortunately there was this HUGE bump in the road. I don't know what I can say that could make you feel any better, but just know that you are not alone and this site is a perfect place to vent.

    I do hope that you feel well SOON!!!

    Pam
  • lindatn
    lindatn Member Posts: 229
    #3
    You bet we all feel angry at times. I am very angry at the state of TN for stopping the very insurance they told me to enroll in in 2000 before I had cancer. At present I have spent days trying to find something I can afford with NO luck! I am angry my husband had prostate cancer five months after I finished treatment in Dec of 2002. I am angry because his cancer treatment has made normal relationships impossible in the bedroom. Something that was great for us for over 40 years, there are days I'm even angry because I am getting old! But the bottom line is we are still alive, sun still shines, God still loves us and yes there are days I am angry with God also but glad he understands. Cancer makes everyone angry but we must not let that cancer controll us nor let the angry take the upper hand. Tomorrow hopefully will be a better day and you'll hold in your hand a beautiful flower of love. God Bless Linda
  • sassysally
    sassysally Member Posts: 150
    #4
    Rogar, as a three time breast cancer survivor that now has Route 66 with all of the pot holes on her chest, I can understand how you feel. It has changed my appearance, but not who "I" am. My Boobs did not define me as a person. I am still the same "Sassy" quick witted person I have always been. I find something to laugh about everyday. Your husband loves you for you. The relationship hasnt really changed, just your perception of yourself has. You are still you. Yeah, having cancer bites the big nuts, but you have to say " Ok, this is me NOW" you will either like yourself, or kill yourself trying.
    Cancer is more than happy to wreak havoc on your life. You made it through cancer to the otherside. Now its time to value who you are, praise everyday that you can enjoy your husband, family and friends ... tell cancer "See Ya, You Lose!" and get on with it. The anger doesnt help anyone but the cancer. I am now again 4 yrs out.After three full rounds of chemo, a round of radiation, a lumpectomy, a mastectomy, a mastectomy, and oopherectomy and finally a hysterectomy.... I am still me. Here to love my son and enjoy the opportunites that wait for me. My first hubby left my as I rolled up the hallway at the hospital on the guerney after my first surgery for bc at the age of 28... he never came back. His loss!!! Your life is either half full or half empty..you choose. If you want to talk, let me know.
    It is ok to be angry for awhile, but then you need to let it go and LIVE!!!!!
    take if from one who has been there a few times...the bumps stink, but when you get past them and you did get passed them... that was yesterday. Today is yours, dont let cancer take that from you.

    Sassy Sally
  • hummingbyrd
    hummingbyrd Member Posts: 950 Member
    #5
    sassysally said:

    Rogar, as a three time breast cancer survivor that now has Route 66 with all of the pot holes on her chest, I can understand how you feel. It has changed my appearance, but not who "I" am. My Boobs did not define me as a person. I am still the same "Sassy" quick witted person I have always been. I find something to laugh about everyday. Your husband loves you for you. The relationship hasnt really changed, just your perception of yourself has. You are still you. Yeah, having cancer bites the big nuts, but you have to say " Ok, this is me NOW" you will either like yourself, or kill yourself trying.
    Cancer is more than happy to wreak havoc on your life. You made it through cancer to the otherside. Now its time to value who you are, praise everyday that you can enjoy your husband, family and friends ... tell cancer "See Ya, You Lose!" and get on with it. The anger doesnt help anyone but the cancer. I am now again 4 yrs out.After three full rounds of chemo, a round of radiation, a lumpectomy, a mastectomy, a mastectomy, and oopherectomy and finally a hysterectomy.... I am still me. Here to love my son and enjoy the opportunites that wait for me. My first hubby left my as I rolled up the hallway at the hospital on the guerney after my first surgery for bc at the age of 28... he never came back. His loss!!! Your life is either half full or half empty..you choose. If you want to talk, let me know.
    It is ok to be angry for awhile, but then you need to let it go and LIVE!!!!!
    take if from one who has been there a few times...the bumps stink, but when you get past them and you did get passed them... that was yesterday. Today is yours, dont let cancer take that from you.

    Sassy Sally

    Yeah, what Sally said!
    hummingbyrd
  • Ellison
    Ellison Member Posts: 68
    #6
    Hi Rogar,

    I find for me things go in stages. I know from my experience with this disease I have my ups and times when I have my down days.

    I started treatment in 2003 and was not even a year out when I was told I have bone mets. Stage IV and was given 2 to 5 years. I was angry, scared, stressed to the max. I had some serious decissions to make and they had to be made in a very short time. Retire form a job I loved. Go on soc. sec. dissibillity. Get a will in order and advanced directive. My husband wants to sell the house buy a motor home and travel. I don't want to leave my house or my doctors etc. etc.

    So with that said I am so greatful to hear you are in remission. What a blessing. I think what you are feeling is just part of the process you need to go thru in order to get to the other side. Go and get a bunch of old dishes at the Salvation Army and take then out someplace where you can throw them at a tree and smash every one of them. You go girl and get it all out...

    I am so glad you got on the board and posted, that is the first step which is very important.

    elli
  • hounddog
    hounddog Member Posts: 115
    #7
    Yes I still have anger after two years ago . It is normal . Breast cancer changed the way I look because I do not have breasts. You need to join a support group they are very helpful . Feelings are normal . The important thing is take one Day at a time and put your trust in God . Because you are going through a storm in your life .Feelings are normal . God has plans for us all or we all still would not be here today.
    Marilyn
    marilyn
  • myname
    myname Member Posts: 2
    #8
    I'm in the anger stage, too. I got through the whole thing without very many down days - but my reconstruction is seriously messed up and I'm mad! I've had to fight the insurance company every inch of the way to get them to pay for the mastectomy, the oncologist (I finally got an internist for that one) for a prosthesis, and now for the reconstruction. I also went through the death of my mother and my son during these two years. My husband is there but has no clue how to provide emotional support - he thinks wet t-shirt jokes about me are funny. He can't stand to see me cry - it makes him mad - so I have to do my crying in the middle of the night - thus no sleep. However - I will get through this, and so wil you. Cancer isn't going to win this one.
    My heart goes out to you. Let the anger work for you. It's better than depression!

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