Hello!!! I'll be AWOL for a while.

bsrules
bsrules Member Posts: 296
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hello Everyone!!! I have been off line for a while. I have been trying to get myself together mentally to make the trip to CT. I don't know if you guys remembered last year the car show to CT. Well, it is that time already. I wasn't going to go as I don't want to go without Bob. Well, I am at the point now that I don't know what to do. I finally got the cars out of the barn and cleaned. It took me a long time. It just isn't the same. I called up there 3 days ago to talk to Robert Jr. and he still can't bring himself to talk to me, which has got me very worried as to how things will be when I get up there. I am afraid of what will happen. I called Audra last night to see if she was going to make the trip and she just told me through her husband that she didn't know. I feel like the door is being slammed shut on me. I called Bob's brother Erv and told him that I wasn't going and he refused to take no for and answer. I tried to get the car packed today but I just couldn't do it. All I have been doing is crying the last few days and I know that it isn't going to get any better. I know that Bob would want me to go but I don't think he would want me to put up with anything there. I just would rather stay home and hide like I have been doing. This is going to be a huge hurtle to jump over and I don't think I am ging to get over this one. I don't know if it is because it is being so far away from my safety zone. I want to take Bob with me but I don't know how that would go over with everyone else. I know that must sound morbid but I don't know what else to think. I am sitting here watching the time go by knowing that the hurtle is coming up fast. I guess I am being foolish. I just don't have it in me anymore to keep this going.

If Erv manages to get me in Bob's car to go I will be gone until Sunday night. Which seem like a very long time right now.

I want to Thank everyone for making me feel welcome here!!! Hope all had a GREAT 4th of July!!!!

I know you guys have more important things to worry about!!!! Thanks for listening!!!!

I haven't heard anything from Judy or her daughter? Has anyone heard from them?

I will do my best to keep going!!!!

Love Always!!!

Sue

Comments

  • JKendall
    JKendall Member Posts: 186
    #2
    Hi Sue..Go ahead and go! Don't look at it as a hurdle (but I can see your perspective on it), look at this as a chance to continue one of Bob's traditions. You can't control how others will react to certain situations, so don't make your decision solely on how someone else may react. This may just be the catalyst to get them past what's bothering them as well.

    Go ahead and lean on Erv a little, especially since he's willing. Go and enjoy!! You should do things that have in the past given you pleasure.

    You'll always be welcome here!

    Take care. Jimmy
  • CAMaura
    CAMaura Member Posts: 719 Member
    #3
    JKendall said:

    Hi Sue..Go ahead and go! Don't look at it as a hurdle (but I can see your perspective on it), look at this as a chance to continue one of Bob's traditions. You can't control how others will react to certain situations, so don't make your decision solely on how someone else may react. This may just be the catalyst to get them past what's bothering them as well.

    Go ahead and lean on Erv a little, especially since he's willing. Go and enjoy!! You should do things that have in the past given you pleasure.

    You'll always be welcome here!

    Take care. Jimmy

    Hi there!

    So glad to have you back. I agree with Jimmy....Do Go! I've noticed your recent posts. You have seemed like a new person. I mean it.
    Why not go and enjoy being in your own shoes - AND giving honour to the man you loved so....DO IT. Enjoy it. And enjoy the help Erv is willing to give you.
    GO GIRL!!
    Much love, and again, so glad to see your post,
    Maura
  • MJay
    MJay Member Posts: 132
    #4
    HI Sue~ I can understand your emotional dilemna. Lord knows I am in quite the pickle myself. I too would wish to "hide" and remain in the safety zone. Undoubtedly this will not be easy... but there is a chance that it may be exactly what you needed to do.

    I wish you luck and strength on your decision. Whatever you do be true to yourself.

    MJay
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #5
    MJay said:

    HI Sue~ I can understand your emotional dilemna. Lord knows I am in quite the pickle myself. I too would wish to "hide" and remain in the safety zone. Undoubtedly this will not be easy... but there is a chance that it may be exactly what you needed to do.

    I wish you luck and strength on your decision. Whatever you do be true to yourself.

    MJay

    Hiya Sue. Be honest with yourself Sue.....what would Bob want you to do???
    You know the answer better than any of us sweetie. Now you have to decide what "your" heart truly wants. Think of the psitive things, not the negative things that could come out of this trip.
    Whatever you decide Sue.....be safe and be well.
    love n huggs, Ross and Jen
  • rejoyous
    rejoyous Member Posts: 259
    #6
    Dear Sue,

    You are so brave to set out to do this. I know it's scary from this side of the "hurdle" but I also know how great it feels to face something like this and come out on the other side. I wish you all the best in your journey.

    Love,

    Ellie
  • tkd3g
    tkd3g Member Posts: 767
    #7
    rejoyous said:

    Dear Sue,

    You are so brave to set out to do this. I know it's scary from this side of the "hurdle" but I also know how great it feels to face something like this and come out on the other side. I wish you all the best in your journey.

    Love,

    Ellie

    Hi Sue.

    I agree with Ellie. I think this will be one of those experiences that you look back on and are so pleased that you did.

    Remember, you and only you are in control of your feelings. If Bob's family give you a hard time, get away from them. Stay somewhere else during the visit. Surround yourself with Bob's friends and celebrate his life. Enjoy their company. Enjoy yourself.

    Love to you, Sue.


    BArb

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