Thoughts......

scouty
scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi to my dear friends.

This is going to be long, because I need it to be.

Some of you know, but most probably don't. I am Stage IV, dxed Feb. 2004 (mets to the liver and left lung). I did the chemo route for 8 months but after 4 months of a "plateau", I chose to try alternative methods of wellness and healing. I choose to stop chemo in mid November 2004 and completely changed my diet, while juicing and many, many other things.

So here I sit going in for my first testing since Jan. 05 (I was still at a plateau then too).

Yes, I am somewhat fearful, but not scared like I usually am. I have no idea why, other then I feel so durn good. I have no idea what tomorrow may bring (my test are Thursday and I find out the results on Friday the 15th, tax day), and am really at a point where tomorrow will bring what it may, but it is not going to stop me from enjoying today. Our friend Andrea taught me that..."This cancer may eventually kill me, but not today".

Maybe it is just that where I live the azaleas and dogwoods are blooming and "my hummingbirds" just came back today to spend their summer with me. And then maybe it was the first fresh lettuces I ate tonight that came out of my spring garden (I had never grown it before and am amazed that lettuce really does have a taste and wonderful flavor).

I don't have a clue why I am posting this, but felt I needed to.

Mostly, I just want to thank you all for making me feel comfortable enough to post in the first place.

Hugs to you all and I hope your hummingbirds come back home to you tomorrow.

Lisa P.

Comments

  • StacyGleaso
    StacyGleaso Member Posts: 1,233 Member
    #2
    Hi Lisa,

    I liked your message. ALMOST as much as I liked the phone messages you all left at my house during Colon Palooza I!!! You know, you have come SUCH a long way, and we all think you are amazing. You will do well tomorrow...you have to...I need someone to gamble with in Vegas this October! And who else but you can make us laugh the way you do?!?!? I'll answer that...NOBODY! I am a firm believer that everything truly does happen for a reason. What type of test is it? CT scan? PET scan? What I usually do when I go for one of those, knowing that the technicians cannot tell you anything official, I ask them if they'll be seeing me in another year or in a few days. That way, they tell you without TELLING you what is going on. If something needs further testing, they'll see you within a few days...otherwise, they'll catch you in a few months or whatever your timeline for testing is.

    So, I'll put in a good word in for you with "the BIG GUY" upstairs...I think I have him on speed-dial in my head!

    All my best wishes (but you already KNOW THAT!)

    Stacy
  • scouty
    scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
    #3
    OOPS!!!!

    I almost forgot to share that I am feeling so good, that I bought a new sofa and chair today too. My old ones were 12 years old and I was due!!!

    How's that for thinking about tomorrow!!!! I know my color preferences will probably change in a few years and look forward to buying my next sofa.
  • scouty
    scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
    #4
    StacyGleaso said:

    Hi Lisa,

    I liked your message. ALMOST as much as I liked the phone messages you all left at my house during Colon Palooza I!!! You know, you have come SUCH a long way, and we all think you are amazing. You will do well tomorrow...you have to...I need someone to gamble with in Vegas this October! And who else but you can make us laugh the way you do?!?!? I'll answer that...NOBODY! I am a firm believer that everything truly does happen for a reason. What type of test is it? CT scan? PET scan? What I usually do when I go for one of those, knowing that the technicians cannot tell you anything official, I ask them if they'll be seeing me in another year or in a few days. That way, they tell you without TELLING you what is going on. If something needs further testing, they'll see you within a few days...otherwise, they'll catch you in a few months or whatever your timeline for testing is.

    So, I'll put in a good word in for you with "the BIG GUY" upstairs...I think I have him on speed-dial in my head!

    All my best wishes (but you already KNOW THAT!)

    Stacy

    Honey, I did not leave those messages!!!!!! Arnold Schwarzzzzz (you know, the govenor of California) and Forrest Gump did.

    I will be there in October (I already have my reservations...hint, hint). Good thing we won't be betting against each other (heaven pray for the poor dealer).

    I will know my results from the CT scans Friday PM and will post them, no matter what. BURN UP THAT SPEED DIAL!!!!!!

    Hugs and kisses, Lisa
  • nanuk
    nanuk Member Posts: 1,358 Member
    #5
    Hi Lisa: Maybe this is appropriate, I dunno, but you seem to have passion, so here goes..
    I believe that life is not a series of unrelated and meaningless events, and that life is no accident, but rather a part of the Creators exquisite and
    grand plan and mystery of endless renewal, evident in all nature.

    The great poet Robert Frost said it best in a two line poem:

    The secret Sits
    we dance round the circle and suppose
    While the secret sits in the middle and knows

    And my favorite (and also short) prayer:
    As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, Amen

    The early Greeks didnt write obituaries; they simply asked, Did he/she have passion?
    Hopefully you will celebrate life by joining together, dancing,
    and eating a lot of sandwiches..
    If there is any message to take with you it would be to do everything with
    passion.
    While you are still in this life, do everything with passion; care deeply for
    the people, and do something every day to make the world a little better-
    you may have to come back..!
  • StacyGleaso
    StacyGleaso Member Posts: 1,233 Member
    #6
    scouty said:

    Honey, I did not leave those messages!!!!!! Arnold Schwarzzzzz (you know, the govenor of California) and Forrest Gump did.

    I will be there in October (I already have my reservations...hint, hint). Good thing we won't be betting against each other (heaven pray for the poor dealer).

    I will know my results from the CT scans Friday PM and will post them, no matter what. BURN UP THAT SPEED DIAL!!!!!!

    Hugs and kisses, Lisa

    Just for the record...I still have those messages saved on my answering machine...I'm going to try to make a copy of them to play on a tiny little recorder to play for everyone in Vegas.

    Yeah, the odds are DEFINITELY in our favor.

    Smootches!

    Stacy (who totally understands stage 4 status!)
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    #7
    nanuk said:

    Hi Lisa: Maybe this is appropriate, I dunno, but you seem to have passion, so here goes..
    I believe that life is not a series of unrelated and meaningless events, and that life is no accident, but rather a part of the Creators exquisite and
    grand plan and mystery of endless renewal, evident in all nature.

    The great poet Robert Frost said it best in a two line poem:

    The secret Sits
    we dance round the circle and suppose
    While the secret sits in the middle and knows

    And my favorite (and also short) prayer:
    As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, Amen

    The early Greeks didnt write obituaries; they simply asked, Did he/she have passion?
    Hopefully you will celebrate life by joining together, dancing,
    and eating a lot of sandwiches..
    If there is any message to take with you it would be to do everything with
    passion.
    While you are still in this life, do everything with passion; care deeply for
    the people, and do something every day to make the world a little better-
    you may have to come back..!

    Amen Brother!!

    No wonder I adore you so much.

    Lisa!! You ROCK girl.

    Thanks for sharing.

    peace, emily who won't be seeing her hummers for quite some time up in da nort.
  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    #8
    My dear dear Lisa,

    You are always in my thoughts and prayer and I know we will have good news. I will have extra prayers tonight. I too will go through some CT scans, colonoscopy, xrays, etc. on April 25, but whatever come our way, we will handle it, fight it and beat it.

    I am so looking forward to our Las Vegas trip. This will be the trip of all trips.

    Take care my friend. You will be on my mind. Maggie Mae send her licks and tail wags and hugs.

    Love,

    Kerry
  • steved
    steved Member Posts: 834 Member
    #9
    A great message- thanks for that. I sometimes pity the poor people out there who haven't had cancer and don't look on life the way we do these days. They really are missing out on realising how many precious things there to every day life that so many people don't notice. It is sad that it takes such a trauma to open our eyes to them.
    Will be thinking of you on Friday and hoping for the best of news,
    Steve
  • Btrcup
    Btrcup Member Posts: 286
    #10
    Lisa, good luck to you on your tests. I'm sure all will be fine. You are such an inspiration on these boards (along with everyone else!). You will be in my prayers.

    My hubby has also dx Feb. 2004 with mets to greater omentum & 13/21 lymph nodes. He did his 6 mos. chemo and now it has spread throughout his peritoneal cavity. He is doing well and still works, although he tires very easily.

    This cancer trip is truly a rollercoaster ride and a horrible monster, but on the up side, it was brought us here to meet all you wonderful people. We would love to come to Las Vegas in October, but we don't know how Scott will be feeling then. God willing, he'll still feel well enough in August (isn't that the deadline for reservations??) and we may be able to attend.

    Prayers to all

    Linda (Baltimore)
  • Lisa Rose
    Lisa Rose Member Posts: 598 Member
    #11
    Hi Honey,

    Hummingbirds, azaleas, dogwoods blooming & fresh lettuce from your spring garden that all sounds so beautiful.... We had a late winter snow storm yesterday leaving 20 centimetres ( 8 inches ) of snow.

    From your post I can tell you are very calm about tomorrow and that's great. What ever will be will be Lisa and we'll cross that bridge if and when we ever get to it. Just know that you'll be in my thought's & prayers or was that slots & beers...


    Love the other half of " The Lisa Sandwich " .....

    Can't Wait For Vegas

    Baby Lisa
  • tkd3g
    tkd3g Member Posts: 767
    #12
    Hi Lisa,

    While reading your post, I can't help but feel your peace, your calmness. I had that same feeling in the days leading up to my surgery. I guess I should have been nervous, I expected to be. But, I had this soothing, calmness about me. I wasn't nervous, I wasn't scared.

    I don't know if you believe in God, but I truly believe He was right there holding my hand. Helping me to accept whatever may come. Giving me the strength to live each day to the fullest.

    I try and hold onto that feeling each and every day. Life is full of surprises, both joyous and tragic. Live for the moment. And really live, don't just go along for the ride.

    You are so beautiful. You contribute so much to our community. YOU are loved by so many. I am so glad you are sharing your feelings today. We all learn from each other.

    Nature is perfect. It doesn't make mistakes. Your azaleas, dogwoods and hummingbirds are evidence of that. The beauty we find in nature is healing to the soul. Whenever I feel down, I just step outside and relish the wonders of this world.

    I agree with Steve. Too many people walk around this earth thinking of nothing but themselves, money, jobs, whatever. When faced with cancer, we put our priorities back where they should have been in the first place. Love. ( I'll stop preaching now)

    To echo Emily, "Lisa, you Rock!"

    Mega prayers coming your way. Love you.

    Barb
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #13
    Lisa Rose said:

    Hi Honey,

    Hummingbirds, azaleas, dogwoods blooming & fresh lettuce from your spring garden that all sounds so beautiful.... We had a late winter snow storm yesterday leaving 20 centimetres ( 8 inches ) of snow.

    From your post I can tell you are very calm about tomorrow and that's great. What ever will be will be Lisa and we'll cross that bridge if and when we ever get to it. Just know that you'll be in my thought's & prayers or was that slots & beers...


    Love the other half of " The Lisa Sandwich " .....

    Can't Wait For Vegas

    Baby Lisa

    Of course you need to Lisa!!!!Why?....because you know that every single one of us understand that "need" is a huge part of our lives. NEED for support, love, understanding and the hope and faith that all of us bring to each other. Cancer has no boundaries when it comes to friendship.Do you know that every time I phone you I have a tear in my eye. Not because you have cancer Lisa..but because our friendship is a bond that is sincere..but also because you are so far away and I JUST WANNA HUGG YAH!!!!!
    So for now sweetie...I can only offer you;
    Ross(((((((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))))))Jen
    All the best sweetie....thinkin of yah!!!!

    When you tell us all is ok.....kanga's shirt will be removed!
  • Kanort
    Kanort Member Posts: 1,272 Member
    #14
    Hi Lisa,

    Yes, your message does sound peaceful and reflective. Tomorrow all of us will be with you in spirit as you take your tests. I hope that your alternative methods will prove to be your answer in battling this beast. I'll be online Friday checking on you.

    Hugs,

    Kay
  • bsrules
    bsrules Member Posts: 296
    #15
    Lisa,

    Hello There!!! You are an amazing person!!!!! I give you all the credit!!! In reading your post I am taking your strength to help me get through each day!! I am having a tough go with spring knocking on my door and with Bob not here. I just keep talling myself to take one day at a time and that God wonldn't put more on my plate then I can handle!!! Thank You for the support!!! Have a GREAT time in Vegas!!!! GOOD LUCK tomorrow!!!!

    Love

    Sue
  • jsabol
    jsabol Member Posts: 1,145 Member
    #16
    Hi Lisa, I came in from my garden and read your post. Our spring is later, but my daffodils are everywhere, and the magnolia is budding. I get such a sense of optimism just seeing nature's renewal, and you are so right about enjoying today. I sure have come to have a greater appreciation all those "little" things in life.
    I'll add my prayers to the list, Judy
  • CAMaura
    CAMaura Member Posts: 719 Member
    #17
    Hey, Hey,

    Know that all of my good thoughts are heading your way; keeping you in my prayers as well.

    Cheers and hugs ....with my hand-foot neuropathy kicking in...i just wrote 'hogs".....!!
    thank the Lord i looked up!!

    Take care and keep in touch!
    Maura
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    #18
    kangatoo said:

    Of course you need to Lisa!!!!Why?....because you know that every single one of us understand that "need" is a huge part of our lives. NEED for support, love, understanding and the hope and faith that all of us bring to each other. Cancer has no boundaries when it comes to friendship.Do you know that every time I phone you I have a tear in my eye. Not because you have cancer Lisa..but because our friendship is a bond that is sincere..but also because you are so far away and I JUST WANNA HUGG YAH!!!!!
    So for now sweetie...I can only offer you;
    Ross(((((((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))))))Jen
    All the best sweetie....thinkin of yah!!!!

    When you tell us all is ok.....kanga's shirt will be removed!

    Oh Boy! Did you see this Lisa Rose???
  • andreae
    andreae Member Posts: 236
    #19
    Dear Judy,

    Thank you for your touching and beautiful posting! As always, it is thoughtful, inspirational and sincere. Thank you for being YOU and contributing everything you do to this community. I am awed by your calmness and I have no doubt that your scans & results will be positive (I strongly believe in gut feelings!). I have nothing but admiration for you and a very deep respect for the path you have chosen to heal. While I fight hard, I do believe that I need to shift my focus from Western medicine a little. I am too swayed by randomized controlled studies and modern medicine - I got to have a little more faith and you have shown me that! I'm hoping to work on my spirituality and integrate some more complementary treatments into my regime. Thank you for your suggestions, insight, bravery and unshakable faith/determination. I look forward to meeting you and getting/giving a big old hug. Livestrong and be well my friend. Know that we all wish you nothing but the bests and many prayers/healing thougths are being sent your way!

    Until there is a cure... Peace, love, hope, believe.

    Lots of love,
    Andrea

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