Apology is in Order

scouty
scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Grandma 047 (Judy)

I owe you an apology. I have no idea why I was so rude to you last evening, but I was. I could probably blame it on a several things, fear being the only one that even comes close. But truth be know, there is no excuse.

We all come to this board to learn and support each other and I think I terribly violated that special creed. I just stomped all over one ofthe friends I care about and that has provided me comfort. Inexcusable. This is the second time I have done that in the last few weeks (steved knows what I mean here). Before I do it again, I need to do some soul searching.

At 50, I still have quite a bit to learn and this journey is a tough one, but I need to remember one thing. It is not what you say, it is how you say it. AND I CERTAINLY SAID SOME THINGS VERY WRONG!!!!!

I am so sorry.

You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I am crying since it is hard for me to imagine you ever even considering my apology. I'm not sure I could or would.

Take care and continue to do the best you can do honey.

Lisa P.

Comments

  • andreae
    andreae Member Posts: 236
    #2
    Dear Lisa,

    I already knew how brave a woman you are and this posting only further confirms it. It is so hard to say those words "I'm sorry" and you did it with such honesty and grace. You are awesome Lisa! Furthermore, I want to say that I understand where you are coming from. Trying to convey messages via computer, without intonation or body language, is very difficult. I often have to delete my messages because I re-read them and I'm scared that someone will misunderstand or take it the wrong way. Sometimes computers suck! Also, Lisa, I understand your fear. I know when I read Judy's messages, I can get frustrated. And I have to remind myself that I'm NOT frustrated with Judy but with the CANCER. Judy has been through so very, very much. I, like many of you, have followed her journey since her surgery. The obstacles and challenges Judy has had to endure... Well, I can't even imagine. And the most difficult part is that the cancer persists (although, it won't forever! Have faith). It is so very hard when brave fighters just can't seem to get the upper hand (although you will Judy!). I hate posting bad news because I know if I'm sick and tired of bad news, you guys must be sick and tired as well... But I also know that in my darkest hours, encouraging messages from familiar names do such good. Anyways, I'm completely off track. Please know that I love and respect you Lisa and if you ever need anything, we are here! We also understand anger:) We have ALL been there.

    Lots of love and hugs,
    Andrea
  • alihamilton
    alihamilton Member Posts: 347 Member
    #3
    Knowing Judy, she will take the apology in good faith. Sometimes it is good to be confronted if only to give us a chance to really vent all our frustrations.

    However, as I have said before , we must be careful how we advise others to deal with their illness. We all have our own way of coping and there is no right or wrong way. It is good to get advice but it must be given unjudgementally.

    Recently, a woman whom I know died very suddenly a week after colon cancer surgery. She was a very fit person, very spiritual. She had been doing so well after the surgery and was expected to go home in a day or two. Suddenly she died....I do not know why but my point is that it has reaffirmed my belief that there is a plan for all of us....and we have no way of knowing what it is. Death has nothing to do with who we are, how fit we are, how old we are, etc. We have no idea when our demise will be. All we can do is live each day in love, kindness and caring for others and ourselves. We have to keep hope alive but recognize our humaness and our low moments. To pretend we are always hopeful nad optimistic is not being honest with either ourselves or others.

    Enough of my rant!

    Love to all

    Ali
  • tkd3g
    tkd3g Member Posts: 767
    #4
    You are a gracious and beautiful person, Lisa.

    I'm sure Judy sees that. We are all here to help support each other and that is what we do. I understand why you wrote what you wrote.

    Cancer is very trying. We have our good and bad days. We cope the best we can.

    Barb
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #5
    tkd3g said:

    You are a gracious and beautiful person, Lisa.

    I'm sure Judy sees that. We are all here to help support each other and that is what we do. I understand why you wrote what you wrote.

    Cancer is very trying. We have our good and bad days. We cope the best we can.

    Barb

    Stand up those who have never offended others?
    In many cases we have all erred on the negative side, although at the same time trying to post a response that could have a benificial meaning. I too have had cause to rethink some of my postings and there have been occassions when my post was not edited correctly....possibly offending someone. I have done this when in the wrong mood/ wrong frame of mind or just totally upset about something. I often email Judy to try and cheer her up, as you well know Lisa. You also know from my email to you that I thought your comments to Judy were somewhat harsh.
    BUT...even tho I told you this I also said that at any given time we have moments that we post where our minds are not thinking straight or clearly. You offered advice with a choice of words not "clearly thought out" and on the spurr of the moment...methinks under duress at the time. Understandable...and I do hope Judy accepts your apology.
    Our phone conversation Lisa proved to me you are an extremely loving and sensitive lady. your apology reveals that sweetie!!!!!
    luv, kanga n Jen
  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member
    #6
    kangatoo said:

    Stand up those who have never offended others?
    In many cases we have all erred on the negative side, although at the same time trying to post a response that could have a benificial meaning. I too have had cause to rethink some of my postings and there have been occassions when my post was not edited correctly....possibly offending someone. I have done this when in the wrong mood/ wrong frame of mind or just totally upset about something. I often email Judy to try and cheer her up, as you well know Lisa. You also know from my email to you that I thought your comments to Judy were somewhat harsh.
    BUT...even tho I told you this I also said that at any given time we have moments that we post where our minds are not thinking straight or clearly. You offered advice with a choice of words not "clearly thought out" and on the spurr of the moment...methinks under duress at the time. Understandable...and I do hope Judy accepts your apology.
    Our phone conversation Lisa proved to me you are an extremely loving and sensitive lady. your apology reveals that sweetie!!!!!
    luv, kanga n Jen

    "Stand up those who have never offended others?"

    Uh... Kanga... can I please sit down now?

    (Yeah, like anyone would believe I've never offended anyone!)

    OK... I'm off to go kick a small, cute, warm, fuzzy animal now... Hmm... puppy or kitten tonight? I know... BABY SEAL!!

    - SpongeBob

    PS: The CSN would like to point out that the views expressed by SpongeBob are not necessarily the views of Jose, Dana, Greta or the CSN Staff. We would further like to add that no fuzzy puppys, kittens or baby seals were harmed during or after this posting.
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    #7
    spongebob said:

    "Stand up those who have never offended others?"

    Uh... Kanga... can I please sit down now?

    (Yeah, like anyone would believe I've never offended anyone!)

    OK... I'm off to go kick a small, cute, warm, fuzzy animal now... Hmm... puppy or kitten tonight? I know... BABY SEAL!!

    - SpongeBob

    PS: The CSN would like to point out that the views expressed by SpongeBob are not necessarily the views of Jose, Dana, Greta or the CSN Staff. We would further like to add that no fuzzy puppys, kittens or baby seals were harmed during or after this posting.

    Gosh SB you are just so offensive!! haha!

    did you knock down the little old lady crossing the street too while you were flipping off the other guy cutting you off in traffic?? Or was that the guy walking with the seeing eye dog that you kicked? I know you park in handicapped parking spaces too huh huh?

    oh well, you're loved anyway.

    peace, emily who knows she NEVER offends anyone on here right?? haha

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