Libido loss after chemo

emmullig Member Posts: 1
My boyfriend recently underwent chemo for his Hodgkins disease. The great thing is that he is in remission and off chemo, but we are having some lingering issues due to his treatment. During chemo his libido virtually disappeared which we knew could happen, however no one has given us any idea of when and if it will come back. He's only been done with his treatments since December, and I know that it can take a while to clear out the system, but if anyone has any ideas of when that starts to come back we'd appriciate it. I'm concerned that his lack of interest could have more to do with him not being attracted to me anymore, but I don't know if that's it or not, and quite frankly he doesn't either. He's said that he just doesn't feel that way ever so he doesn't think that it's me. Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts, we'd appriciate them.


  • chuck6
    chuck6 Member Posts: 2
    Hello there,
    I went through 6 months Chemo; March-Sept. of last year; for my stage 4 HD. My last CAT scan was this past Monday, which I hope comes out fine. After my last treatment in September, it took several months to get any desires back. Please be patient with your relationship. Your boyfriend has been through Hell; physically and MENTALLY. Certainly, consult your doctor; but for now a hug goes a long way.
  • woodd00
    woodd00 Member Posts: 9
    Hi there!!

    I was diagnosed with HD IIB in Nov of 2002 and went through 12 weeks of Stanford V and 4 weeks of radiation (all clear now). During and after that treatment intimacy was down a ways on my list (if you can believe a guy saying that). Like Chuck said, your boyfriend has been through physical and mental hell. The drugs do take a while to wear off, but there is a larger issue that might be lingering around. Those are the mental issues. If he did not deal with the psychological issues of having this disease his intimacy issues could last far beyond the drugs wearing off and this is completely understandable. Depending on what he as an individual went through and what the original diagnosis was he may have wanted to cut himself off from the world so as not to be hurt or hurt those he cared about. I know at times I started to distance myself from my wife, but in the end it brought us closer together. Cancer really makes you think about life. Once life starts to return to normal (work, school, whatever) he will start to return to normal (just with some new experiences and views on life). I can understand the concern that you have that he might not be attracted to you anymore. It’s hard to feel like the person you care about doesn’t want to be with you. As long as you are patient with him I am sure in time things will return to the way they were…..or who know they could be better. :-) Just give it time.