Dating after Hodgkin's

quec
quec Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin) #1
I finished my treatment in September for Stage 2 Hodgkins. I recently started dating again and I was hoping someone could give me some advise or share some experiences. I am not sure how and when to tell the person.

Comments

  • pickles123
    pickles123 Member Posts: 47
    #2
    I would wait a little while until you get serious with someone. Just as you don't just meet someone and say I had a horrible childhood. I think in every relationship, their comes a point where you start sharing personal stuff about yourself. Whether its a bad relationship with a parent, or other sensitive things of that nature. So when you partner starts sharing some intimate stuff with you then I would go ahead. Make sure to mention that Hodgkins in not genetic and their is still a high probabilty that you will be able to have children if that is the case. Also, you might want to tell him before he sees your scars since they might bring questions to the surface.
  • Jennifer_H
    Jennifer_H Member Posts: 2
    #3
    Actually, I find it easier to get off my chest as soon as possible, but I don't put it in negative terms, i.e. "oh, i had an awful childhood" -- if you say it positively ("I had cancer when I was younger, but I'm fine now, and I'm really interested in giving back to the community") or something like that, most people really respect that and think it's cool. You might be surprised about how many people either know another cancer survivor or who have been through similar 'facing death' situations themselves... Just don't let it define you entirely or take over your life/relationships in a negative way.

    I know plenty of Hodgkin's Disease survivors who are happy married and happily dating. I've only had one or two situations where someone I was dating said anything weird or rude about it. I wouldn't stress, and if there's a point where it could come up in the conversation, just say it kind of nonchalantly.
  • malachi613
    malachi613 Member Posts: 1
    #4
    this is what i do, i don't really come out and say it like "hi my name is michael and i had cancer when i was a kid" but i mean if it comes up in conversation don't worry about it. the person should be understanding and might even want to talk about it more than you do.
  • Catherine_2004
    Catherine_2004 Member Posts: 3 Member
    #5
    Dating after NHL
    I did the same thing wanted to start dating again after my cancer. I found a guy I liked and I told him I had cancer before and I can't have kids. A few weeks later he dumped me because of the whole kids thing. I don't know what to do should I date again? Because I feel that guys don't want me because I have had cancer.
  • Porphy
    Porphy Member Posts: 36
    #6
    Catherine_2004 said:

    Dating after NHL
    I did the same thing wanted to start dating again after my cancer. I found a guy I liked and I told him I had cancer before and I can't have kids. A few weeks later he dumped me because of the whole kids thing. I don't know what to do should I date again? Because I feel that guys don't want me because I have had cancer.

    Keep dating, one guy wants
    Keep dating, one guy wants kids, suppose he wanted a train engineer, you can't do that either. He just wasn't a good match. Think how much fun you could just finding the ONE !

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