Just Beginning

Min · February 2005

I was just recently diagnosed and about to start chemo, with a port being put in on Friday. I am terrifed and so overwhelmed about dying, hair loss, pain, discomfort and everything else that is going on

cmkent · February 2005

This is the first I found this site and hope this will go thru to you. I had a lumpectomy 6 days ago and will be meeting with the onocologist on the 17th and the surgeon seems to think they will recommend chemo for me also. I would like to learn from others that didn't opt this with the same cancer I had. I had infiltrating duct adenocarcinoma. Grade 1 and Stage 2a with 2.1cm tumor and 1 malignant lymph node out of 11. I'm tempted not to go with chemo and was wondering what your grade, stage and tumor size was. Please try to find comfort in the Lord as he is the only one who can give you that. I know it's a hard to go through with as I'm struggling also and remember as far as the hair loss, there's always wigs and most of them I hear are great these days. If I can be of any other encouragement, please email me. I'd love to hear from you.

lindatn · February 2005

Welcome to our club, the one you never wanted to join, nor did any of the rest of us. Of course you are afraid we all are afraid of the unknown, so start to educate yourself. You are in the right place, many many past posts on every issue ahead of you. Are you having a lumpectomy, if so type that in, chemo of every sort is discussed etc. Write down your feelings and worries, I did and three years later when I read them I even smile a bit. Times does take care of a lot of the fear, never goes away every check up is still a day of being nervous. Hair loss will not prove that difficult, wigs if you don't like the bald look, summer is coming. Many gals laugh about it and had fun painting their heads. I hated it and even wore a cap when I went in for the lumpectomy, I had chemo first. Take someone with you to make notes on Drs trips, write questions down as you think of them. Chemo is very doable just ask for meds as needed. There are great drugs for depression use them if needed, eat healthy. I'm the crazy vegan on this web page and anti white flour and sugar.I take dozens of vitamins herbs, not for everyone but it has helped me deal with the cancer as I feel I am doing something for myself. Others say have a bag of M&M and some Oreos. If you have a good family to lean on sure helps, sister, kids, husband etc. In my case God is always right there to call on. There will be many who post here and we all are thinking of you and remembering that FIRST day. Are you doing A/C then Taxol if so many of us can relate to what you are having. Just A/C and Tamoxifen for me and of course radiation. That is tiresome but painless for the most part, nothing to worry about. God Bless. Linda

lindatn · February 2005

cmkent said:
This is the first I found this site and hope this will go thru to you. I had a lumpectomy 6 days ago and will be meeting with the onocologist on the 17th and the surgeon seems to think they will recommend chemo for me also. I would like to learn from others that didn't opt this with the same cancer I had. I had infiltrating duct adenocarcinoma. Grade 1 and Stage 2a with 2.1cm tumor and 1 malignant lymph node out of 11. I'm tempted not to go with chemo and was wondering what your grade, stage and tumor size was. Please try to find comfort in the Lord as he is the only one who can give you that. I know it's a hard to go through with as I'm struggling also and remember as far as the hair loss, there's always wigs and most of them I hear are great these days. If I can be of any other encouragement, please email me. I'd love to hear from you.

cmkent: That one malignant lymph node means that the cancer could of spread so the chemo sounds like good insurance to me. I had two nodes so of course had chemo, A/C before you do taxol make sure it will be of any benefit. In my case in the three studies done at that time with my cancer one proved it would help a little, one none at all and a study did in CA showed it would be less then benefical for me. The body has a immune system and with taxol it really gets a major set back so with only one lymph I would question if they want to do taxol. The A/C is miserable to do but of course it too passes and most of us have no side effects when finished. Wish I could say the same for Tamoxifen but after two years of being on it I still say it is better then the cancer. God Bless Linda

sjf · February 2005

cmkent said:
This is the first I found this site and hope this will go thru to you. I had a lumpectomy 6 days ago and will be meeting with the onocologist on the 17th and the surgeon seems to think they will recommend chemo for me also. I would like to learn from others that didn't opt this with the same cancer I had. I had infiltrating duct adenocarcinoma. Grade 1 and Stage 2a with 2.1cm tumor and 1 malignant lymph node out of 11. I'm tempted not to go with chemo and was wondering what your grade, stage and tumor size was. Please try to find comfort in the Lord as he is the only one who can give you that. I know it's a hard to go through with as I'm struggling also and remember as far as the hair loss, there's always wigs and most of them I hear are great these days. If I can be of any other encouragement, please email me. I'd love to hear from you.

I am a Christian woman who has had to fight beast cancer twice. I each time my nodes were negative but my cancer was very aggessive. So I endured chemo through each event in 1984 and 2003. I highly recommend that you go through the chemo. You will be surprised how fast that time goes and how often your faith will be challanged and championed. I got to witness to many other cancer patients. It gave me the opportunity to also witness to others and receive prayers from many all would not have happened if I had not gone through the chemo. The hair loss is temporary and an adventure. My hair grew back in all white in tight curles, a year later the curles are gone and I have more dark than gray, than before the cancer. Yes wigs help but fun hats worked for me. The wigs were too hot. You never know what the Lord has in store for you. This my be an opportunity for you to reach someone no one else has ever reached before. He is in control he will get you through it. God Bless.

Sullivan · February 2005

Hi my name is Pattie and i have breast cancer. August 2003 age 43, i felt a lump in my left breast the size of a golf ball. The surgen preformed 2 lumpectomies and wanted to do a 3rd. which i didnt have,i have invasive ductal carcinoma which is ER/PR negative and metastatic disease in one lymph node out of 3. I had 6 treatments of Chemo and 35 Radiation treatments. I was ill from the chemo but got thru it ok. I cried alot!! And ive been battleing depression. Ive gained 50 pounds cause when i get sad i eat.But that helped too. So i guess whatever helps you do. Good luck to you take your journey with courage!! with the grace of a women.

seeknpeace · February 2005

Hi there,

I am so glad that you found this site. I wish that all bc patients could come here, would know about this site.

I am one year out, bilateral mastectomy with tram reconstruction. I did not have to have chemo, the nodes tested were negative. And since they took the complete breasts, no radiation. My cancer was dcis, but comedo with extensive necrosis, ie: very aggressive. And, the size was fairly large for dcis, 2.5 cm.

You will find a lot of support and love and most important, information. Get all the specifics about your cancer and post it, and we can all share the things that we have learned since our own diagnosis'.

It is a terrible thing and for most of us, we had to act fast so you really do not have time to contemplate what you are doing until it is over. My head was spinning from the day of my diagnosis and is still spinning to a certain degree.

Good luck and whatever you need to do to be well, please consider it. I guess one way to look at it is if you do not have it done and needed it, you may end up much worse, but, if you get it and did not need it, you will get better, the chemo is not a forever thing. Does that make any sense?

Good luck and God Bless you. Love..Jan

hummingbyrd · February 2005

seeknpeace said:
Hi there,

I am so glad that you found this site. I wish that all bc patients could come here, would know about this site.

I am one year out, bilateral mastectomy with tram reconstruction. I did not have to have chemo, the nodes tested were negative. And since they took the complete breasts, no radiation. My cancer was dcis, but comedo with extensive necrosis, ie: very aggressive. And, the size was fairly large for dcis, 2.5 cm.

You will find a lot of support and love and most important, information. Get all the specifics about your cancer and post it, and we can all share the things that we have learned since our own diagnosis'.

It is a terrible thing and for most of us, we had to act fast so you really do not have time to contemplate what you are doing until it is over. My head was spinning from the day of my diagnosis and is still spinning to a certain degree.

Good luck and whatever you need to do to be well, please consider it. I guess one way to look at it is if you do not have it done and needed it, you may end up much worse, but, if you get it and did not need it, you will get better, the chemo is not a forever thing. Does that make any sense?

Good luck and God Bless you. Love..Jan

Boy does this bring back memories...diagnosed June 2000, I'm surprised more that I didn't die from a stroke or heart attack as my anxiety attacks were soooo bad before the chemo. I have a website Conquering Cancer Through Christ. The addy is
www.urcctc.com
front page is long, but it shares how I made it through this battle. I'll be honest; for me it was prayer and xanex! I took 2 mg of xanex before each chemo treatment and still almost scraped the chrome off the bed railing! That was 4 1/2 years ago, thank God I'm still here, back on chemo, but not so bad this time. Must admit also hair loss was the pitts, but it does grow back, and usually better than before. Get it cut short if not already, that way the loss won't be so drastic. Go ahead and pick out a wig OR for me I preferred caps, scarfs, hats, etc...they can really be a lot of fun and rather stylish too!
Attitude! It's half the battle.
God bless. (((HUGS)))
hummingbyrd

epgnyc · February 2005

Dear Beginning,
Oh you bring back such memories. I was diagnosed in May 2002 and I found the early days following diagnosis the most stressful and overwhelming. Once I actually started on chemo (which I was terrified of) I actually calmed down. Chemo and radiation were physically pretty tough, but for me it was the emotional component that was most difficult. But given everything, nothing was as bad as I had expected - as the others have commented, it's all doable! Best of luck to you.

tlmac · February 2005

Hi Min, I found my lump Martin Luther King weekend 2003 after a 6 year absence from my gynecologist and annual mammograms. I was also terrified and hair loss was at the top of my anxiety list. What got me through it was being more afraid of dying than of any treatment my doctors advised. Chemotherapy wasn't as bad as I'd imagined. With the great drugs they have for nausea and anxiety and depression, I can honestly say I've had worse hangovers. There were days when I didn't feel like eating but I never threw up once. As for the hair, I ended up shaving it off and throwing on a ball cap. Bald isn't my best look but it was actually very liberating not to have to style it and do the mascara thing or even shave my legs before going out-just my trusty ball cap. Chemotherapy became my armor against the cancer. I could see it working on perfectly healthy hair cells then visualized it killing off any microscopic cancer. I actually had mixed feelings when my chemo came to an end, afraid to lose that protection. I'd do it again, tomorrow, if it would buy me 2 more healthy years. We've all been where you are today and we've gotten through it. In a year or so, you'll be reassuring someone else that, rough as it is, it's survivable. Best of luck.
terri

sgarcia100 · February 2005

Dear Just Beginning,
I was diagnose in March 2004, went trough chemo, radiation and now I'm taking Tamoxifen, I do understand the feeling, I remember the first time I was going to chemo, my heart was pounding so hard, a lot of anxiety, was so nervous, couldn't go thru it that day, I returned the next day, the doctor recomended something for the anxiety, after the first expirience, everything was OK, one friend that have the same problem and same treatment told me once "go with the flow and pray a lot" and that is what I'm doing, now I feel guilty of feeling happy and so healthy, my hair is growing back, I THANK GOD for every day of life he is giving me.
So "go with the flow, and pray a lot" and keep faith that everything will be fine, one day you may help someone else.
Please feel free to ask any question, we all are a big family!

troyryans · February 2005

Min, use this wonderful network of survivors who lend the most gracious support and guidance as you go through your battle. Everyone has such wonderful comments, insight, strength and hope. I have been on Tamoxifen for the past four months to keep the beast away after two lumpectomies, and the support from these wonderful people has been invaluable. Hang in there, sweetie, and know that there are shoulders to lean on.

Hugs,
Kathy

rutaf · February 2005

Hi Min: Hang in there day by day. I've learned so much since October 2003. I agree with everything that these ladies (and if there is a man among them) are telling you. Day by day - I can do this! Day by day - what little tiny thing do I want to try to get accomplished today. if that little tiny thing doesn't get done, it will still be there another day. You are the most important! I had three months of chemo and then had to switch drugs for another three months. That hump was hard for me to get over but I made it over and have the chemo behind me. Yes! Halleluja chorus! I am gaining weight and have body swelling (on tamoxifen). My team and I are working on what to do. Stay tuned.

pegann · February 2005

cmkent said:
This is the first I found this site and hope this will go thru to you. I had a lumpectomy 6 days ago and will be meeting with the onocologist on the 17th and the surgeon seems to think they will recommend chemo for me also. I would like to learn from others that didn't opt this with the same cancer I had. I had infiltrating duct adenocarcinoma. Grade 1 and Stage 2a with 2.1cm tumor and 1 malignant lymph node out of 11. I'm tempted not to go with chemo and was wondering what your grade, stage and tumor size was. Please try to find comfort in the Lord as he is the only one who can give you that. I know it's a hard to go through with as I'm struggling also and remember as far as the hair loss, there's always wigs and most of them I hear are great these days. If I can be of any other encouragement, please email me. I'd love to hear from you.

sounds like you are on your way to being a survivor. i am seven year out and had ductal carcinoma stage III. I had a lumpectomy with the advise of my surgeon with axillary dissection. I
began chemo two weeks after with six months of
Cytoxan, Adriamycin and 5fu. I had low white counts with every treatment with my second eatment too high. Neupogen shots every time to
bring back the whites. Sometimes I was fine, sometimes, I felt the life being sucked out of me.
I work as a nurse on a cardiac step down unit. I have seen alot of suffering and death. I was not on my job but six months when I was diagnosed so I could not take FMLA; I worked all the was through except when my counts were so low my onc
would not let me go to work. Unfornately my treatment time was during flu season. I made it fine with alot of support and prayers from my family, friends, co-workers and people I did not even know. everyday I got cards in the mail from
prayer groups from all over the world. Chemo is hard; I can only suggest that you get a mind sst that the chemo is an army killing every cancer cell in your body. I sat for the four hours each treatment going to the beach in my mind while I let the drugs do their work. Many times I was so weak that I could not even move my arms. but when I was able I celebrated with my family, took
a couple of small tripts with my husband and generally let life go on as usual with the exception that I was very much more aware of the
gift of it all. Since I have survived I have had two new grandchildren that are not five and six years old. I thank God everyday that I got to have this priviledge, they are the light of my life and I could not be happier. There is no trick to surviving this disease. God is the Master and he knows the outcome. We can only believe that he has a plan for each of us. We do all that we can. But there is no defeat. Jesus already conquered this for us. The only factor is
is it our time or are we to go on for a while. I WAS TO GO ON FOR A WHILE! I will never fear again
as I know that my fate is with my Lord and all I can do is to reach out to those who are in pain and fear and help them to know that the Victory is already won. Perhaps someday this won't be so hard. We are still pioneers in this disease. But for our children and our grandchildren it may not be so hard. God bless you and my prayer will be with you in your battle. Always remember, he will be with you and your fate is in his hands. He will send angels to comfort you in your fear and in your pain. He will also send angels to comfort those who love you. Be Strong, be brave,
be faithful and be at peace with God.

Just Beginning

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