how I want kids

tortal -

There are people who have had kids after completing cancer treatments. These folks fall into one of two groups usually:

1. People who had treatments that did not leave them sterile. Since you said you haven't meunstrated, I'm guessing you had chemoradiation which caused early menopause? In that case you're probably in this group.

2. The second group is people who harvested either eggs or sperm and kept it cryogenically suspended so they could do in-vitro fertilization at a later date. Unless you had eggs harvested before your treatments, you probably don't fall in to this catagory.

There are, of course those folks who have miracle babies... there are a number of other options available if you want to have kids - surrogates, adoption, or you could just take mine. They're already potty-trained and eat grown-up food. They're ungrateful little @#$%s, though. Maybe you can teach them some manners...

Cheers.

- SpongeBob

This is one of the hardest aspects of all this to cope with for some of us younger survivors( I am 31 - stage 3). I still don't know if I am fertile or not as have to wait tillthe end of chemo (end of this month thank god) to do a test to find out. I did bank some sperm before hand but would rather go down the natural path to having babies (we had or first the day after I had finished preop radiotherapy but probably want more).

it is harder to jsut test for infertility for women than it is for men and it is often a case of reduced fertility for some rather none at all. It is best to talk to your doctor about this an d probably see an obstretrics specialist to talk through options. Egg donation is done these days and there are options around adoption etc as Spongebob says. Don't give up hope either of having one naturally though as it may still be an option.
The other aspects to consider of course (that my wife and I have had to deal with in our own minds) is the geentic thing. I am not sre if you have been tested for HNPCC (geenitic predisposotion to having colorectal cancer)but it may be worthwhile considering due to your young age. You then need to consider the risk to any future child of passing on this gene. there is of course always the other naging douby about 'will I be around to help them grow up' which we all have to face.

It is a mine field of worried and concerns but the bottom line is my little one has helped me immensely fight this thing and I wouldn't be without him.

Hope my rambling and doubts are helpful- you may be able to tellt his is still something I am sorting out in my own head too,
feel free to email me if you want more info,
sTeve.

StacyGleaso said:

I can understand how you would feel "cheated" if you were unable to have kids after your treatments. I was blessed with 3 kids before I went through everything. But if I hadn't, I would totally find ways around it. Adoption would be a great option. I have a sister who has no kids, and she and her hubby will take mine for weekends and such...all the fun without all the overhead! My kids were my motivation to fight the good fight, and for that I am eternally grateful. But not having kids does not have to be the end of the world. If you are still here and living and loving life, then everything will work out how your "master blueprint" intends.

A friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant. Gave birth to a beautiful baby. Ended up pregnant again, after all her treatments. Tests are indicating that the baby may have downs syndrome. She is now a wreck and is blaming herself. However, the test that is indicating this has only a 30% accuracy (alpha feta protein test). This is more associated with age of the mother, not the treatment she received from cancer.

What is meant to be is meant to be...may you feel comfortable with the "hand you are dealt."

All my best,
Stacy

P.S. Benefits of having no kids? Getting to sleep beyond 6 AM on any given day...not having to EVER watch a Barney sing-along...getting to eat Twinkies for breakfast without having 3 others following you and threatening to tell grandma about your poor eating habits...never having to wipe crayons off anything or anyone...never having to explain how your sweet daughter gave a boy a black eye...the list goes on!

Nomination for the Semi-Colon Anthem:

I love you
You love me
We're a happy family

With a great big hug
and a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me, too?

(of course we'd all have to be dressed like purple dinosaurs when we sing it)