GREAT NEWS!!! REMISSION FOR HUBBY! depression for me?

Hi Sally Jo,
I understand the 'emotional rollercoaster' may be different for caregivers but for me (the patient), the hardest time emotionally was definitely after all the treatment was finished. I think I finally allowed myself to process my diagnosis and everything that had happened. You mentioned that you are already seeing a counsellor, and that is great. I wonder if it might be possible to see a counsellor or therapist that specializes in what you have been through (for example, with expertise in helping cancer patients and their family members). I saw a therapist during that post-treatment period and found it very useful. One thing she had me do was talk through the details of several of the critical incidents (diagnosis, and several other traumatic/unpleasant bits), which was very powerful and also useful. Thinking of you and sending best wishes your way.
Tara

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!! For the hard stuff now - absolutely! I was seeing a therapist during my treatments. Once I was done, she told me the hardest part is when the active fight (treatments and surgeries) is concluded and the weighting game begins.
Just about every possible reaction to cancer is normal. As the others have said, be good to yourself. Make a list of things you put on hold and gradually start doing the ones you like the most.
Try to enjoy the holidays; time with family and friends. One of the few good things cancer does for people is make them appreciate every minor moment.

Sending happiness your way. jana

Some great advise above and the experience of others who have been through similar times is invaluable. If I could offer a little professional advise seeing as I am sat at work avoiding doing a research proposal (I am a psychiatrist in the UK). I would agree with your general diagnosis of yourself and well done for admitting to it.

Treatment-wise i wouldn't rule out medication. we often see people who struggle to tolerate antidepressants for exactly the reasons you state. There are a wide range however and I have at times had to try 6-7 onpeople before finding the right one for them. If you try again you should start on the lowest dose possible and only increase this very gradually which helps minimise side effects. If you can tolerate the effects they will also often pass with time eg sedation or agitation. tehre are also new ones coming out all the time. I am sure you probably tried some of the SSRI group like prozac and paroxetine. Newer ones such as mirtazepine and venlafaxine are often better tolerated and just as effective. Talk to your doc and consider seeing a specialist for advise.

With respect to other ways to treat depresion all teh above advise stands. Counselling may be great and can help mild depression but the evidence is that for more moderate and severee forms a more formal therapy is needed. Teh most effective is cognitive behavioural therapy which is said to be as good as antidepressants (but is often best to use in combination with them). It is very practical type of therapy (very little analysis and naval gazing goes on) and is proven in people coping with serious medical illnesses (or caring for them). Consider talking about a referal to a formal therapist as you proabably need more than basic counselling.

On a treat yourself side - activity and exercise are shown to help. Do somehting every day you enjoy and ensure you don't avoid things that used to bring you happiness. There are some very good self help books for depression these days which can be very effective.

In reality though it may just be time you need to get through this. It really is the ultimate healer in these situations. I myself as a cancer sufferer adn my wife have been through the mill this year and only now are able to find enjoyment in things again 9 months after diagnosis. I know how hard this can be and aspects of it all can be harder on carers than on survivors.

Keep fighting and looking for answers and things will improve. It is important to keep beleiving that.
Best of luck and if you want more advise feel free to email me (although I take no professional responsibility for the outcome of this advise- ie please don't sue me! tee hee hee- you americans are such fun to ttease!)

Steve.