Mom is stage IV- need advice

My mother was supposed to have her hysterectomy and debulking yesterday, but when they got inside, they found that the cancer had spread over pretty much every surface. We're obviously in shock. My mother asked me to post here and see what kind of advice we could get (I told her that I had posted before and found it to be very helpful). First of all, we haven't been thrilled with the doctor at the hospital. He told me he would talk to her before I would see her and then went out of town for the next week. This left it up to me to tell her that it was more advanced than we had expected (she asked right away and I felt that I needed to be honest since she knows how to tell when I'm not). She was upset and full of questions and no one was there to even talk to us until the next day. Her original surgeon is gone, he left right after giving me the news. He never mentioned future surgery and painted what seemed to be a pretty grim picture. His partner is more positive and says after the initial chemo, surgery is a possibility. Her original oncologist, who is in our hometown and is the only one to really spend time with us and who always answers when we call, told me that they used to do surgery after chemo, but don't typically anymore and he doesn't really think it is a likelihood. The hospital wants her to do chemo there. They say that way they can tell when and if she'll be able to do a surgery. My mom had planned to go to the hometown doctor since the cancer hospital is about two hours away and she is pretty much alone and cares for three kids with severe special needs. Also, she had wanted a port because we've heard so many horror stories about collapsed veins and infections, but the hospital says they prefer to use her arm. The other doctor said a port is a good idea. Everyone agrees that Chemo should start in the next couple of days. We're overwhelmed and still unable to think all that clearly. Any advice or words of wisdom would be welcomed and appreciated.