Test Results

Kaye2003
Kaye2003 Member Posts: 86
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hey everyone. We saw my husband's doctor today and got all his test, ct scan..ultrasound..blood work..colonoscopy, results and he shows no signs of cancer anywhere. He will have the ultrasound again every four months for the next year. Thank God....
But after giving us the test results the doctor kept talking about how the cancer could return because he has a few patients that it has returned after having the same surgery (removed tumor only) as my husband, and even one that the cancer returned after she had the big surgery (resulting in colostomy) as he calls it, three years ago.
When we left my husband was more depressed than I have seen him in a long time. He kept saying the doctor acted like he was just waiting for when it would return not if it would.
I tried to explain to him:
1. To keep the same faith he has had so far that he would be okay and just keep praying.
2. That his path report after surgery showed no signs of cancer.
3. That the doc that did the ultrasound said his tumor was very young and probably not very aggresive.
4. That there are people every day that have a tumor removed from the rectum that never returns.
5. That he was on chemo four months after his surgery.
6. His doctor, and most doctors, always give you the worst case senerio.
I just don't know what else to say to him. I think sometimes we just want to go in and the doc say "okay, you are cancer free and it will not come back". But unfortunately thats not the way cancer is. All we can do is hope and pray it doesn't return.
Sorry this was so long, but you guys are the only ones that understand what and how you feel after every test, surgery, doctors appointment, etc.
My husband is cancer free at this moment but I'll still check in every day to help anyone I can. I know how important this site and you guys are when you feel alone with this monster.
God bless all and you are in my prayers daily.

Comments

  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member
    #2
    Ahoy, Kaye -

    I completely understand where your husband is at emotionally.

    The thing with cancer is that it does come back sometimes. In fact, that's why we're not "cured" until we're cancer-free for 5 years. In the case of those of us with a hereditary type of cancer, we're never really "cured". With us it's more a question f "when" not "if". After surgery and chemo and the emotional rollercoaster we ride on the road to recovery, the last thing we want to hear is that we may not be done with our fight.

    What it is important at this point to do is to focus on

    (a) Living every day to the fullest. You know, yeah. The cancer may come back. A bus may also careen off the road and hit you tomorrow as well. People don't walk around being depressed about that, do they? I believe that we should live every day as though it's our last - because one day it will be. Hopefully, it will be many many years from now!

    (b) Live, but also keep a constant vigil for the dragon to return. Don't become lax in your check-ups and ignore symptoms. Over time he'll think about the dragon less and less.

    In closing, I want to share with you an old Irish toast:

    May you be buried in a casket made of the wood of a hundred year old oak tree... which I shall plant today.

    Best wishes, now go out there and ENJOY yourselves!

    Cheers - Slante!

    - SpongeBob
  • steved
    steved Member Posts: 834 Member
    #3
    Spongebob says it well. Part of living with having had this diagnosis is living with the fear and apprehension of it returning. However that is exactly what you need to do - live! Yes, it may return and no doctor will say it never will but if it did you want to be able to look back on your time and feel you made the most of it and not have sat around fearing the worst and forgetting how to live.

    Give your husband time- it is the greatest healer for his problems. It may also be useful for him to talk to someone outside of the family who isn't as emotionally involved such as a councellor.

    Also I can speak from experience that doctors do need give the worst case scenario which arises partly due to todays litiginous society where if we don't warn patients of all the worst possible outcomes then they can come back and say they weren't informed properly. However it can often come across as doom mongering and quite negative. Take it in the context of such good news around the investigations. Each time they come back clear his chances of teh cnacer coming back go down.

    All this postive thinking is often far easier said than done so be patient with him and allow him time to get his head around it all. Let us know how thing go and we'll be thinking of you,
    Steve.
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #4
    steved said:

    Spongebob says it well. Part of living with having had this diagnosis is living with the fear and apprehension of it returning. However that is exactly what you need to do - live! Yes, it may return and no doctor will say it never will but if it did you want to be able to look back on your time and feel you made the most of it and not have sat around fearing the worst and forgetting how to live.

    Give your husband time- it is the greatest healer for his problems. It may also be useful for him to talk to someone outside of the family who isn't as emotionally involved such as a councellor.

    Also I can speak from experience that doctors do need give the worst case scenario which arises partly due to todays litiginous society where if we don't warn patients of all the worst possible outcomes then they can come back and say they weren't informed properly. However it can often come across as doom mongering and quite negative. Take it in the context of such good news around the investigations. Each time they come back clear his chances of teh cnacer coming back go down.

    All this postive thinking is often far easier said than done so be patient with him and allow him time to get his head around it all. Let us know how thing go and we'll be thinking of you,
    Steve.

    Kaye--I am pretty much in the same boat. Have bloods taken every 2 months/ ultrasounds every 4 months with colonoscopy every 12 months. I have been NED since feb. 04.
    My surgeon was pretty low key about a possible return and it worried me a lot. I talked to him again and his answer was, --"hey, we reckon we got it all and the chemo will mop up". He did , however say there were no guarantees and for me to keep getting tested and know the survival rate is excellent. He said that no-one, not even him could say I was fully cured but I should always think that my life should not go on hold worrying. It is hard for us all Kaye, we have no choice but to live and trust in our faith.
    All your hubbies indications are good--just be vigilant and we will survive this sweetie.
    luv n huggs kanga n Jen
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #5
    Man, these three guys (Sponge, Steved, and Kanga) really say it good. Can't add anything except to say enjoy this wonderful, wonderful news and live in the present, don't dwell on tomorrow, and enjoy each and every moment.

    My Bert is NED since July 2004 and we plan and hope on staying that way. This is what we are concentrating on. I know that there isn't one day that passes without our thoughts turning to cancer but we are really trying to focus on thoughts being having beaten cancer, not anticipating it's return.

    Bert's follow-up regime is CEA every two months, CT/Pet with contrast every three months, annual colonoscopies. So far, so good for him and there's no reason why things can't be good for many years to come for your hubby as well.

    Hugs,
    Monika :D
  • jana11
    jana11 Member Posts: 705
    #6
    Everyone has already said it all. Just stay positive for your hubby. Don't force him to be happy, just let him know you are hopeful and supportive. Can't ask for more.

    Cancer diagnosis is tough. Time heals all wounds. Be sure to enjoy every healing moment... your hubby will probably relax a bit with time.

    jana
  • Kanort
    Kanort Member Posts: 1,272 Member
    #7
    Hi Kaye,

    Ditto all of the above! Hopefully, your husband is feeling more positive now and enjoying being NED!

    Please keep us informed on his progress.

    Wishing you both well,

    Kay

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