hard to slow down

bunnie · August 2004

Hi so i have a quetion when your use to running a hundred miles a hour all the time how do you learn to change that habit I am scared to slow down becase of how long will it take me too get back up to the speed i use to be working 40+ hours a week and stlill playing on the weekends i fell if i give up then maybe all never make that potentil again.Sorry if this doesn make sence just hoppiing someone can give me some instite.Thanks in advance.Bunnie

seeknpeace · August 2004

Bunnie, do you feel like as long as you are on the move, in a sense you are outrunning the cancer, or so busy that you do not think of it? I wonder too if you are afraid that relaxing and slowing down will be giving up. Bless you honey. This is a hard time. I really hope that you can find the peace to slow down. Your body may need that. Maybe you could replace the constant moving about and being busy with meditation or yoga or something that will keep you busy in a better way. Hang in there girl.

Idalia · August 2004

Last year, I was a busy wife, mother and homemake and teaching part-time. If asked, I would definetely have said 'my plate is full, I don't have time for one more thing!' Boom - I'm diagnosed with breast cancer and suddenly, all those other things on my plate slipped off! Bunnie, right now you are the priority! Running a hundred miles an hour probably isn't good for anyone for very long. It sure doesn't sound like fun! Why not put all that time and energy into your recovery? Deal with it head-on, even if you are scared or tired of it all at times. Ask questions, do your research, read books. Reach out to others and allow them to help you. This summer, when I was diagnosed with metastisized cancer, I had just returned to work and was looking forward to getting back to 'normal'. No one knows what life has in store for them. All we can do is make the most of today. Good luck!

DeeNY711 · August 2004

Bunnie, following surgery and during treatment and recouperation, I was not able to work for a year. I spent one entire day sitting in the sunroom watching snow fall. Looking back, I'm glad I had that day.

When I returned to work, it was like pulling a dead elephant through mud to make it through a shift. Now I am firing all cylinders full steam ahead, full time. I worried that the ChemoBrain memory lapses and gaps would erode my essential knowledge base required for my work, but that was not the case.

I am back now to where I was before, except better. I don't let petty problems expressed to great excess by others annoy me anymore. I just look at them, smile, and let it roll right off.

All requests for personal days or vacation days at work have been denied, so I have been working full time since February. Have not needed to take one sick day! You will be able to accommodate your needs now, and then return to work. It would be a lie to say that doing so will be easy, but you will get there.
Love,
Denise

jdubious · August 2004

Hi Bunny - I was working 50-60 hrs per week, taking 2 or 3 classes every quarter at college, plus all my house-wifely and gardening duties (my other job)and helping my retired Mom around her farm.
Now my ONLY job is to get well! If working and playing are helping you get well, go for it! But if something is interfering with working on your health, the it has to go!
For me, I am more focused on this than I have ever been on anything at work, and this time, my life depends upon it!

Since you are staying active, you are probably getting lots of positive support from your friends and co-workers. If you decide to put more focus on your health, you will still get that support. People want to help, and we should let them!

You are the only one that can decide your priorities - what is the most important thing for YOU now?

For me, my life takes a higher priority than my job (dead girls can't work - sick girls work really slow!) I'm fortunate that I can make that decision but I still try to have some fun and keep my sense of humor. My employer and co-workers are very supportive, so I feel ok about my decision. But only you can decide for you!
jill

ksfc · August 2004

seeknpeace said:
Bunnie, do you feel like as long as you are on the move, in a sense you are outrunning the cancer, or so busy that you do not think of it? I wonder too if you are afraid that relaxing and slowing down will be giving up. Bless you honey. This is a hard time. I really hope that you can find the peace to slow down. Your body may need that. Maybe you could replace the constant moving about and being busy with meditation or yoga or something that will keep you busy in a better way. Hang in there girl.

I second this Bunnie. You have been through so much and it must be very hard to relax. Also, as busy women, sometimes it's hard to admit that we need and deserve to slow down. But, you do deserve it, and my guess is that you'll have more strength, not less, if you do a good job of pacing yourself. Do the fun things and the really important ones, not the things that don't really matter. Take care - Diane

sandyk · August 2004

Bunnie-I'm new to the site but am 1 year past chemo. I too worked all the way through 2 surgeries, 8 chemos, 36 radiation. I wasn't running away. I was trying to keep my focus and not be overwhelmed as I moved forward. I continue to work 40 hours. I have days when I'm not full steam ahead which is ok. I know that those days aren't wasted - it's just where I'm at. Things are very different these days. I'm extremly active w/my congregation, husband,3 teenagers, friends & pets! I like to spend my weekends camping, having family & friends over for BBQ, taking walks, sitting on the deck enjoying the summer warmth. Some days I do nothing but lay around and read. Take and do all that makes you feel happy but enjoy the little things and listen to your body. If you are moving too fast then slow down. Everyone has a different pace especially w/BC and all that is involved. I'm still healing spirtually, physically and emotionally. I think that this is an ongoing process which is my new norm. I do understand. Sandy

tlmac · August 2004

Dearest Bunnie, Just from reading your posts over these last months, I don't believe anything will permanently hold you down. Your enduring spirit won't allow it. Listen to your doctors and listen to your body. Spend your 40+ hours a week doing everything possible to win this battle. When you've done that, everything else will fall into place. I keep you in my prayers.
terri

seeknpeace · August 2004

jdubious said:
Hi Bunny - I was working 50-60 hrs per week, taking 2 or 3 classes every quarter at college, plus all my house-wifely and gardening duties (my other job)and helping my retired Mom around her farm.
Now my ONLY job is to get well! If working and playing are helping you get well, go for it! But if something is interfering with working on your health, the it has to go!
For me, I am more focused on this than I have ever been on anything at work, and this time, my life depends upon it!

Since you are staying active, you are probably getting lots of positive support from your friends and co-workers. If you decide to put more focus on your health, you will still get that support. People want to help, and we should let them!

You are the only one that can decide your priorities - what is the most important thing for YOU now?

For me, my life takes a higher priority than my job (dead girls can't work - sick girls work really slow!) I'm fortunate that I can make that decision but I still try to have some fun and keep my sense of humor. My employer and co-workers are very supportive, so I feel ok about my decision. But only you can decide for you!
jill

Jill, I like what you said "dead girls can't work and sick girls work really slow". That is a great slogan..thanks for sharing that...Jan

SusanAnne · August 2004

Hi Bunnie. Soon after my diagnosis I came upon an accident scene where a male had been hit by a car. He was lying on the ground with an obvious head wound and was beginning to have convulsions. I began to think that our situations were not that different. It didn't matter where he was heading that day; if he had an important meeting to attend, or if he was going to meet a friend. Whatever it was, they were going to have to do without him. His priority for at least the next few months was recovery. Even though you weren't physically knocked down, your recovery should be your #1 priority. If you can still work and achieve that then it's ok, but don't sell yourself short. Only you know in your heart if you are compromising yourself. Time for some soul searching I guess. Good luck.
Susan

hard to slow down

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