Lost my mom to cancer Wednesday 6/9

shallisey
shallisey Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Surviving Caregivers #1
My mother just passed away on Wednesday. I feel so numb. If I don't think about her for 15 minutes, I feel like I am losing her all over again. She had adenocarcinoma of unknown origin. She didn't even get the chance to really fight with chemotherapy. She was diagnosed at the end of January and died in 4 months. I don't know how to go on or what to do. I'm 33, I know I should have a better handle on this, but I just don't. I just wanted to write out some of my feelings where people would understand. Thanks, Sara.

Comments

  • Amanda_T
    Amanda_T Member Posts: 2
    #2
    Sara,
    I lost my mother in March. She had bone cancer that metastisized from a previous breast cancer. Like you, I felt completely numb. Now, four months later, i still feel the numbness. I can't remember anything about my mom. It's like all of my memories are locked away and i can't get to them. It's very frustrating. I feel the same way you do about not knowing what to do. I feel lost. I'm 26 years old and feel like i should be handling this better too. You have every right to feel the way you do...you only had four months with your mom. My mom battled for eight years. I'm thankful for that time I got to spend with her, I just wish i could regain the memories of her that my brain is blocking out. I completely understand where your coming from because I'm right there too. Hang in there, Amanda.
  • myangel
    myangel Member Posts: 4
    #3
    I am so sorry about your Mom. My Mom was dignosed on Jan6th 2004 and just 5 months later she is gone she passed away on June 10,2004. I feel numb most of the time then I get so mad It isnt fair she was only 54 there are so many times I think i have to call Mom and then I reliaze I cant she is gone. I call sometimes just so I can listen to her voice mail It makes me feel alittle better just to hear her voice. I had a really hard time I got married June 20 2003 and 1 year later my mom is gone I couldnt watch our wedding video because I couldnt bear seeing my mom all I did was cry and I still dont see how in 1 year she could go from being strong and healthy to lying in a bed not talking or moving. The doctors dont know where the cancer started just that she had it in her bones,lung,liver,kidney, and then spread to her brain. If you ever feel like talking you can email me Dont worry about having a handle on this no one can You have to grieve in your own way find something that makes you feel better. I have two angels I bought one for my MOm and one for My sister(she was 15 and died march 24,2004) and they are my guardian angels and even though they arent here I know they are with me I talk to them every day just like they were her I feel closer to my mom I tell her that I am scared and mad sad whatever and I feel alittle better. Sorry this so long I just started typing and couldnt stop. If you need to email me.

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