Dying at Home?

palmer001ca Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Bladder Cancer #1
Hello, I am looking for opinions and comments from those who have been through a similar experience.

First some background, I was diagnosed with stage III two years ago and was successfully treated. Unfortunately, a few months later I was diagnosed with metastatic cancer, and just recently it was found in my brain. Treatment options are nearing and end and my physician has given me few months if I keep treatments going. I am in my late thirties with two children under seven and a very caring wife who has really taken up the slack.

My question/ concerns center on the dying process and indeed the best place - hospital, hospice, home. Primarily, the impact my dying at home might have on those closest to me. I recognize my passing will be difficult on my family and I want to minimize their distress as much as possible. I keep thinking dying at home may be more traumatic on them then some other location...any thought?


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  • AuthorUnknown
    AuthorUnknown Member Posts: 1,537 Member
    My mom was older than you (68) when she was dying. Dad and us kids kept her home as long as possible, and years later we all feel like we were really a part of that experience and not just watching from outside and seeing the pros handle it all. But Hospice was there with us all the time. And at the end we moved her to the Hospice unit at the hospital. Either way it will be difficult, but if your situation and family warrant it, they will probably all be amazed at themselves. Tough time, but our family never felt so together as a unit as taking turns caring for Mom.
  • DoubleKnot
    DoubleKnot Member Posts: 41
    Hello Palmer,

    When my Mom was dying in her own home, Hospice was called in to help with her last days with us. That was my first experience with Hospice, and I can not begin to tell you how loving, caring, and gentle they were with my Mom and made her as comfortable as possible. Everything that they did for her and our family, they did it with love, compassion, and respect for everyone. They made it so that when Mom's time came and God took her home with him, we all knew that she went in peace and without pain. She got to say her Good-byes to everyone and we got to say our Good-byes to Mom. I can not begin to say enough good things about Hospice. Since my Mom had this gentle, loving care during her last days, I plan on having them to care for my husband when the doctor tells me that it is time to call them. My husband has cancer that they are certain has metastisized to his lung and possibly elsewhere. We will know the results of the Pet Scan soon. He had a massive stroke many years ago. When the Oncologist feels like my husband's days are numbered and it is time for Hospice, I will be on the phone immediately and ask for their help and loving care. This is my personal opinion concerning Hospice, and Mom dying in her own home I think was wonderful. I hope when your time comes, you will experience the wonderful things that my Mom saw and she told me about it. She saw Jesus twice, she got to see her sister & brother-in-law, and a dear friend of her's that had gone before, was WITH MOM. She told both me and that person's relatives who were sitting beside me. It gave them great joy also. I never saw that much happiness and joy on my Wonderful Mother's face! That total happiness on her face, is what I always picture before my eyes. Yes, there is a better place called Heaven. Go with God in peace.

    In Colo.