I DID IT!!!

blessings1020 · March 2004

Well,today was a pain filled day and spent most of the day in bed crying. Thank goodness I have my mother to talk to when I am like this.

I've been sitting here "stewing" about all the difficulties I have been having with my oncol. (taking personal calls on his cell, asking directions, yelling at me, not listening to a word I have to say) so, in essence, I terminated his services starting today and boy, do I feel empowered!

I have chosen another oncologist in the group and SHE is a kind, caring person (she took care of me when my doc was on vacation and she had to put me in the hospital). I am sure that she will give me the time I need and patiently answer all of my questions (I will be a year post op on 4/22 and *still* do not understand the type of tumor, prognosis, etc. as my former (boy that feels good!) oncol. felt it was unnecessary to fill me in on all the "little" details or else he thought I was just too dumb to get it.

Even though still in agonizing pain, I feel ten pounds lighter (I wish). This is like a new beginning for me.

Hope everyone is well and pain free and prayers go out to you all.

Diane

billandpatty · March 2004

Diane
It's good to hear that you are on your way to a better and happier recovery. I think it's very important that we like our doctors and that not only are they well educated, but they can take care of our whole being. When I was diagnosed with melanoma last year, the first surgeon I was sent to treated me badly. He acted like my cancer was "nothing" and he didn't want to be bothered about my concerns about lymphedema (my surgery was on the same side as my breast cancer surgery -- on the top backside of my arm). I left very upset and crying and not knowing what to do. I talked to another cancer survivor and she told me "get another doctor"! (I think you know that's what you should do, but sometimes we have to be told the obvious!) It wasn't easy, the hospital kept telling me that maybe he had a bad day and he was an excellent surgeon ... anyway, I got in to see another doctor -- what a difference! He is wonderful. He talked to ME. He reassured me that he would be careful with my arm -- that he'd get the cancer AND he'd leave me with an arm that I could hug my husband and children and hold grandbabies with. He did. It's important for us all to feel well taken care of...that's part of the healing.

I had the same experience once I changed doctors, I also felt like the weight of the world was off me! It was great. Even tho' I still had surgery to go through, I felt relieved that I could get through it with someone that cared about my recovery.

Take care, Diane. Your days will get better.

SusanAnne · March 2004

Hi Diane,

I am very proud of you for firing your doctor! We all have enough to deal with without having people like that in our lives. I hope this is a turning point for you and things start looking up! Be well.
Susan

inkblot · April 2004

Hi Diane:

Just wanted to say: "That's the Spirit"!!!!!!!!!

We pay our docs for a service. If they do not provide it and meet our needs, then they deserve the boot! It's astounding that a year post surgery, this idiot didn't bother giving you your path report and taking the time to explain all of it to your understanding. That's criminal!

Isn't it amazing how taking charge and feeling good about it can so brighten our day...even during pain? I think it's wonderful and I daresay that your immune system is already strengthened and benefitting from that good feeling you've given yourself.

Good luck with the new doc and hope your pain eases soon.

Love, light and laughter,
Ink

blessings1020 · April 2004

inkblot said:
Hi Diane:

Just wanted to say: "That's the Spirit"!!!!!!!!!

We pay our docs for a service. If they do not provide it and meet our needs, then they deserve the boot! It's astounding that a year post surgery, this idiot didn't bother giving you your path report and taking the time to explain all of it to your understanding. That's criminal!

Isn't it amazing how taking charge and feeling good about it can so brighten our day...even during pain? I think it's wonderful and I daresay that your immune system is already strengthened and benefitting from that good feeling you've given yourself.

Good luck with the new doc and hope your pain eases soon.

Love, light and laughter,
Ink

Thank you, ladies, for giving me the strength to do what I had to do...I am really not into confrontational situations right now but I decided (after reading numerous posts) that who was going to take better care of me than me.

Since I was ill before my diagnosis of b/c and had dealt with many docs, I was always very involved in my care and always well informed.

This particular doc gave me the impression that my file was his property and because he had a degree, it was for no one's eyes but him.

I need to go to the cancer ctr. tomorrow for a port flush (I don't even know why this thing is still in me) so we'll see if he approaches me. He seems like the kind of person that will follow me around wanting answers to why I chose another oncol. Maybe he should take a look at himself and not look to me for answers.

Still in LOTS of pain today (and all the rain doesn't help my arthritis...still I love the rain), but woke up with the feeling that this is going to be a good day. I am going to see my family doc today, which makes it a good day for me. This is the doc from heaven...compassionate, kind, etc.

Thanks to all of my sisters for giving me the courage to do what needed to be done. I don't think I would have the strength otherwise.

God Bless...Diane

DWininger · April 2004

Hi Diane!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! There isn't a patient in the world who needs to put up with an arrogant, disrespectful Dr. Maybe with your new Dr., you'll find out why you're still having days of pain. And, like you, I thank God my mother was with me after my surgeries and gave me all the support and help that she did. My son was only 12 at the time, and my (now ex) husband was busy working 2 jobs....if it weren't for Mom we probably would have gone to bed hungry a couple nights a week.

Keep the spirit, and look for the sunshine after the storm....it's always going to be there.

(another) Diane

mssue · April 2004

Hooray!!!!!
I'm glad you took a stand and feel good about it.If you're through with your treatments tell them you want your port removed. That's just one more step towards completion.My prayers are with you and I just wanted you to knowyou're stronger and smarter than you realize.Enjoy yourself whenever possible and take care!!
w/love Sue

blessings1020 · April 2004

I want to thank all of you who replied to my post. You have done more for me than you realize. When I found out I had cancer, I thought the oncologist knew all and I should just be thankful that he/she was trying to save my life. This was at the expense of my self-respect and my right to know and I am so glad to be rid of him.

Had my port flushed by a new nurse, Angel...how fitting that was! I went in at lunchtime so I wouldn't have to run into the "Big Meanie" (I'm such a wuss).

When she inserted the needle for the flush, I have never felt such pain from a stick! She touched the area where the port is and told me it doesn't feel right and it's moving around...duh. Then, she couldn't get the blood to flow, well, as I explained to her, I'm "positional" (not too dumb am I). I then asked her when the port was coming out and her response was "When did they tell you it would come out?" to which *I* replied "I don't know....no one tells me ANYTHING".

Guess I'll call the surgeon that put it in (the ps says he doesn't know how to take it out...please!) and talk to him about it. Can you believe $15,000.00 to put this thing in (and I'm not kidding, ladies) and you have it for such a short time.

Would any of you mind telling me what the cost was to "install" your ports?

Well, I wish everyone a glorious, positive, pain free weekend filled with joy and zest for life.

Blessings...Diane

I DID IT!!!

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