The ups and downs of confusion

Jules33
Jules33 Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
I must say that the hardest part of going through watching a parent get sicker is the confusion. What confuses me the most is the same thing that gives me hope. It is the fight that they give. One day you could swear it will only be another day or two and the next s/he is fighting to the end, sitting in the hospital bed as though it were any old place hanging out having a good time. My mother seems to bounce back and forth sososo much and that is by far the hardest part. It is going through the emotions and fear that she will die soon and then she bounces back and seems to be ok, not great, but certainly not dying this wk. My mother is my best friend and she has always been a fighter, it is just hard to fight with metastisized lung cancer (bone and brain) while a tumor has paralyzed her right leg. But, her fighting strength is by far what keeps me going. I see her slip daily, but she also gets stronger and more beautiful to me. I guess, who isn't confused when they face the death of a parent, friend or loved one? It is just hard when there are sososo many ups and downs. Damn this cancer!

Comments

  • mygen
    mygen Member Posts: 9
    #2
    I'M SORRY TO HEAR WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. MY MOM ALSO HAS CANCER. SHE HAS HELD ON A LONG TIME BUT I CAN TELL SHE'S GETTING TIRED. WE HAVE HEARD SO MANY TIMES SHE WAS NOT GOING TO MAKE IT MUCH LONGER AND SHE ALWAYS DOES. MY MOM SAYS YOU CAN'T FEAR THE DISEASE OR IT WILL WIN. SHE HAS STAYED SO STRONG FOR HER FAMILY. MUCH STRONGER THAT I HAVE. I STILL PRAY FOR A MIRACLE EACH AND EVERY DAY. I WILL ALSO PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. GOD DOES ANSWER PRAYERS. STAY STRONG FOR HER. THAT IS WHAT SHE NEEDS THE MOST.
  • vix
    vix Member Posts: 15
    #3
    This is one of the most beautiful tributes to a parent that I have ever read. You are amazing; she is lucky to have you. I wish she could read this piece, so she can also smile at the remarkable and beautiful daughter whom she has raised. Keep strong, and keep drawing on her strength. That is, most likely, what she wants you to see. You are in my prayers...Victoria
  • Jules33
    Jules33 Member Posts: 3
    #4
    vix said:

    This is one of the most beautiful tributes to a parent that I have ever read. You are amazing; she is lucky to have you. I wish she could read this piece, so she can also smile at the remarkable and beautiful daughter whom she has raised. Keep strong, and keep drawing on her strength. That is, most likely, what she wants you to see. You are in my prayers...Victoria

    Thanks a lot. :-)
  • pauladisab
    pauladisab Member Posts: 1
    #5
    This is my first discussion. It seems like we are all in the same ugly boat. Sadly sinking deeper and deeper every day. My dad has 3 months to a year. It is so hard to cope not knowing and living out of town. I have a high profile job and my employer has been brutal. I am afraid of losing my job because I can't concentrate. I want to be with my dad helping him and holding his hand. I fell unhealty myself and can't cope with it all coming at me from all directions. What do I do. How can I help him and be focused at work. I am very confused. Any suggestions.
  • Delight
    Delight Member Posts: 5
    #6
    Hello.
    I just read your posting and I know it was in March. I hope things are going alright for you now. I know what you mean when you talk about confusion. My mother has lymphoma and just started chemo last week. I'm starting to learn that you can't try to figure this all out and make sense of it because no matter what you do it will never make sense.
    God bless, take care. I'm here to listen if you need to talk.
    Lori

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