Reply to Momsweeboy

edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1

My name is Monika and I am caregiver to my husband Bert diagnosed with stage III colon cancer August 2003.

My heart breaks for you and I am responding because not only am I dealing with Bert, I am also dealing with my mother, same age as yours, who has inoperable lung cancer diagnosed September 2002. I don't want to loose either one of them...I've already lost too many people in my life, including my beloveded dad who died when he was only 58.

I felt the need to write to you because of my mother's situation. My mother fought and is continuing to fight a good fight, although there were times when she was having combo chemo (heavy, heavy guns for lung cancer) and radiation that she totally wanted to give up. The docs also wanted to stop, but she insisted. The result was that she did go into remission for a while, but it came back 14 months later. Now, her old onc didn't want to do anything more, simply wait till she suffered symptoms and then do pallative care. I think part of his decision was based on the fact that mom is 70 and he was trying to give her quality as well as quantity. I spoke at length with my mom about this as I respected that fact that the final decision would be hers, not mine, to make. I also told her that I personally don't accept "no more treatment" as an option and strongly suggested a second opinion at a major cancer center.

Mom agreed because she, just like your mom, wants to continue the battle for as lung as she can. We went and a totally new plan of action was developed. New scans will be done shortly afterwhich they will be looked at. If the recurrent lung nodule has not changed, she will be closely monitored. If it has changed the slighted, she will have options to participate in a clinical trial or go back on chemo, which without the radiation combo, she tolerated quite well. Had my mom not been strong enough to face chemo, the new oncologist told her that there would have been options they could have done to try and build her up to the point where she would possibly be able to tolerate chemo.

My point here being, I would suggest that you do go to a major cancer center. You certainly have nothing to loose and possible may even have something to gain.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.



  • aspaysia
    aspaysia Member Posts: 250
    A small spot was detected on my liver in a routine follow up ct scan after my colon surgery and the docs were kicking around some ideas when the surgeon told me that we would "not be having this conversation" if I were 70.
    They called the liver guy and he ordered a pet and mri. The results did not impress him enough to take action. Probably just a bundle of nerves. That would describe me at the time. This was a major cancer center and they were looking at every little thing and treating me very aggressively because I was "relatively young and otherwise healthy".
    It was pretty chilling wonder what they would do if I were older. Maybe it's the Medicare thing. Lack of compensation or whatever. I am baffled.
    Guess you just have to fight for what you want and find someone to agree with it.
    Aspaysia, still scratching her head.