help!

Dear Help, I am Anne a colon rectal survivor. I had a mass in my vagina rectal wall. They took out my vagina wall, colon ovaries, appendix, and all the anal area. In return they gave me a permanent colostomy. I was 45 in 1997, I had chemo and radiation and got on with life. I was cleared as cured five years later and now after 7 years am also just reeling from the shock of finding it in my lung. Mine appears to be left lung, 3 places --one golf ball 3 cm--the other two too small to biopsy.
I found out in December. I'm a minister and was preparing for Christmas. I've had some time now to deal with and plan.
I am presently taking 5 FU and Camptosar. I am headed to NY in February. I recommend you also reach out and get a few other opinions who will consult. Get your faith legs under yourself. You will not die tomorrow. Your doctor if he is a good one should help you get to the top cutting edge people. I am going to Sloane kettering to see Marc Rosenbloom and to St Vincents to see John McDonald in NY. Both are top people in their field. They would be good for your cancer too. Listen I know that this is devastating. It really was emotionally hard to face it again. I am just at my new church over a year--full of plans. I had a port put in again. Emotionally devastating. But I'm okay. God will take us through every day. I even have days when I forget for awhile. even during chemo weeks. Take charge of your health care. Get to at least two other top docs in your field. All your pathology can be put on one disc to take. My strategy: Start chemo. I have PET Scan, and Cat Scans. Then they went down into my belly with an endoscopy to see if there were any hiding in my stomach. All of it together tells the tale. Right now I'm in chemo while we get things figured out. I tell my doc he is the man but I will consult with 2 others and they will consult with him. Your doc if any good should support that. I am hoping to go and consult and then they all talk. On Feb 27 I have a CAT scan and by the next week I should know whether surgery is in my future or whether it will be a chemical battle.
Listen Nanuk, it is war we are fighting. Don't commit all your troups in the first skirmish. Find out all the new drugs coming out this year. Wth it in both lungs they will not do surgery. they will want to do Cat and Pet scans to check for other hot spots. You want to stay alive to win the war--not die in the first skirmish. I do not intend to let cancer rule me. Get on with life. Do the chemo. consult, plan strategy. Take charge of yourself. Make goals. I plan togo to Swaziland June 24-July 2. I am the team leader and I've brought on board a codirector just in case God's answer is no. Even if so I will be planning another trip for next year--maybe all cancer surviors. But I am praying and planning even with surgery in March that I will be strong enough to go in the end of June. But the important thing is live your life, make goals. Give yourself over to God. Healing isn't just about the here and now. You will be here just as long as God wants you to be. One other thing--you've had 4 years. The cancer did not come back after a few months. If it was back in a few months you'd be in trouble but the longer in between the better it is for us. It's a whole new war. So get going.