i have lost control in my life! I feel alone!

cjhtexas said:

Hi. My wife and I are waiting for test results (gulp), so I just popped on the net to see if I could get some basic education. She is donating a kidney to save the life of a friend. We were supposed to fly to St. Louis this morning for the surgery on Thursday. The hospital called a couple of hours before departure and informed us that she has a nodule that may be cancerous. Wow. Hows that for a new chapter in an already scary ordeal?

Anyway, I'm so sorry to hear about your health. Please spend at least a minute truly thinking about what I'm about to say, because I think I was supposed to find your posting today. Stay with me - I'm not a kook...

You feel like you have lost control in your life because you have. In fact, you never had it. God made your body and all the components that make it work. These "parts" are his wonderful crafts, created especially to fulfill a purpose for him. You may fall apart physically, but if you have a relationship with the creator of these amazingly intricate crafts (us), you will have a peace that will, in fact, pass all understanding. My wife and I will pray for your complete physical recovery and that your life will be used as an awesome testimony to the continuing sufficiency and grace provided by Christ. Please reach out to a Christian friend and God will take it from there. Or completely disregard this - your choice. Anyway, you will be personally prayed for each day and I truly believe God will work his plan through your incredibly important and unique life.

FYI - I don't just go around the internet trying to "save" people who are hurting. In fact, this is the first time I've done anything like this. I just felt compelled to send this message to you.

Here's a great resource - you'll love this guy (he's my wife's favorite) www.truthforlife.org

Peace and healing to you, your husband, and your family. "Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day". 2 Corinthians 4:16

OK - now back to what I wanted to find out. Does a "hot" nodule from a scan absolutely exclude cancer, or is a biopsy the only absolute answer?

Thanks,

Thank you for your reply. I know in my heart you are right. I have to put more trust in God, and believe that everything happens for a reason. I feel that every day I have a new challenge to overcome and even though some may feel unfair, I have to believe that everything will work out in God's plan if I trust in him and follow my heart. I think you said everything I needed to hear, even though deep down I already knew that. I am sorry to hear about your wife's dignoses, does she have Papillary Thyroid cancer? That is really something that she went to safe a friends life, but now she is saving her own. What a shocker to you both that must have been. Why haven't they dignosed it yet with an aspirtation biopsy? Is the nodule not close enough to the surface of the neck? If she does have a thyroidectomy, they will remove half of the lobe and send to the lab for a stat cancer test to insure it wasn't a false positive. How big is the nodule? What type of scan were they using when they found the cancer, (CAT)? I will be praying for your wife also, and be here if you have any concerns or questions. I will check out that website that you sent to me. Thanks again for your nice message, that really makes my day.

r11658h said:

Hi. I just had a total thyroidectomy a few weeks ago and was scared to death. I understand your feelings. Seventeen years ago I had a tumor on my adrenal gland and had it removed. It was benign. When I received this diagnosis I thought for sure that I couldn't beat cancer again and I was right. I am now off of Cytomel and on a strict low iodine diet to prepare for radiation treatments on the 26th of this month. I am petrified of the whole idea and am, like you, always afraid of having more tumors. I can't imagine them finding more cancer any where else in my body and what that would do to my mind. My husband hurts and my daughter also. We are all in agony. I'm trying to always remain in a good frame of mind but it's not easy. Tell me how you are now? Did you gain weight. I have spent my life exercising and trying to look good and now I'm told that I might gain weight and it angers me. Anything you could say would be welcome. Thank you.

Hi, I am sorry to hear about your cancer. I thought the iodine diet was the hardest part about that type of radiation treatment. My endocrine doctor has me hyperthyroid with my meds, I am on levothroid 150mcg right now. My doctor said that it helps suppress the cancer from coming back. When I was hypothyroidism for 2 or 2 and a half wks I didn't gain much wt. because the food that you have to eat is like no calories. On a diet like that you would expect to lose wt. but since you are hypo you don't. So I tried to continue light excercises like floor excersises to keep my stress managed. Are you taking the lowest dose possiable of the iodine radiation? It sounds that you have a family that cares about you, so that's a good support system. How old is your daughter? I am doing better emotionally by hearing other people's cancer stories. Some of the stories makes me look like I got off easy. But no matter what, it is not easy for anyone! I can say for sure I would not know how I would act or what type of decisions I would make unless it was happening to me. Before my cancer, it was easy for me to judge other peoples decisions. I am a student nurse and when I hear of cancer patients that are only in their 3o's-40's with a DNR status, I do not judge their decision. I just wonder what road their life took them on to make that decision. I am still worried almost every day about the what if's, but I try to take care of my health by having hope and staying positive. I was depressed for a couple of months after my surgery, and I thought I would never go back to my normal self again. But, I did. It almost seems it happened over night, because I don't remember waking up one day and saying, "Wow I am myself again!" Oh, ya, I am sure the doctor told you that it might take up to six months to get your thyroid levels balanced right, so hang in there. I hope you have a good doctor, and if not, look around for another one. I don't have any side effects from being hyperthyroidism so this treatment is working great. That might be something to look into with your doctor after your radiation treatment. I am going to my endocrine doctor in March to have another scan to see if I need another treatment of the radioactive stuff. FYI: if they haven't told you about the scan, each pic takes about 10min. and this board looking thing is like 4 inches or so from your face, so that really bothered me during the procedure. I wish they would have offered me a sedative or something, cause it made me anxious and I was crying. It's not enclosed or anything, and you can have your husband in the room with you, cause there's no radiation being put off. I hope your treatment goes well, hang in there! U are probably the strongest family on your block! Let me know how things are going. SJS

r11658h said:

I was so happy to get your response. Thank you for taking the time. How long have you been living with your cancer and/or have you gotten a clean bill of health? I have been trying to maintain my exercise schedule to some extent but haven't always felt energentic enough to do what I used to do. I don't have any idea on the dosage that will be administered. I suppose that would be something I would want to know. Since finding out my radiation schedule I have been frantically reading everything on RAI and can get my hands on and have read several articles regarding dosage amounts. At my initial meeting with the doctor and did not know to ask. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks for describing the process. It helps to have some idea as to what I will encounter. It is very reassuring to know that my husband can be right there with me. I am petrified of these tests and what the results will be. Did you have more than one test and did they tell you the results shortly thereafter? I understand that they will tell me within a half hour after each test what the results are. I don't know if I even like that idea. I would prefer to take all of the tests over the week and then get the final results of all at the end of the week. I'm not looking forward to being the nuclear isolation unit of the hospital either. It all sounds very lonely and I'm a people person. Being isolated from the world sometimes seems more horrifying than the cancer itself. I'm curious about your cancer. Did you have just the thyroid removed or lymph nodes too? How are your calcium levels? So many questions, so little time......

I had the surgery exactly a yr. ago and have been cancer free since March of last yr. I think I did get the results right away, and the cancer did come back clear. The surgeon was great, he didn't remove any of my parathyroid's so I have normal calcium levels. I had my whole thyroid gland removed and I think 5 or a little more of my lymph nodes removed. You have over 90 lymphnodes in your neck. So it's normal for them to remove some, to leave a clear margin. The thyroid is such a vascular organ that it didn't supprise me that a 4 cm nodule could spread to my lymph tissue. I had the lowest dose possiable for the radio active iodine so I didn't have to be in hospital isolation. You do though,hah? You might have a different experience than me if that is the case.. Don't know how they might do the procedure. how big was your nodule? Did they remove some lymph tissue? I think the isolation in a hospital would be really hard, cause you feel so alone. Your not though, cause there's lot's of out here feeling sad for you! Hope you are getting some answers now! SJS

cherrie said:

Hi,I had the isolation treatment twice one in 1989,I was 18yrs old and I wasin the hospital for 3 days but when I came home I couldn't be near my baby for 2 weeks, the reatment was I131,the dose was 100, In 1994 I needed another treatment,the dose was 125 and I was also hospitalized,but in 2003,last year I needed a third treatment the dose of this one was alot stronger 152,and the dr said that now they give you the Iodine and you go home and you lock yourself in a room for 5 days.I told my Endocronoligist that if I need another treatment I don't want to come home. It was a real bad experience for me.I got really sick to my stomache and had to come out running from the room to the bathroom.I had to let my kids I was leaving the room,I had to clean everything with Clorox which made things worst,cause of the smell,and my grandmother lives with us and she had to open the door to almost throw me my food. I do not recomend doing this at home it is a risk for your family unless you have another house where you can be alone.Trust me,you go crazy also,but cleaning after you go to the bathroom with Clorox makes it worst.I felt the smell of Iodine come out through every pore of my body and I was real swollen and was sick for 3 days I smelled so bad no matter how many showers I took it wouldn't go away.Here the Iodine that I take is liquid not a pill(I live in Puerto Rico).It doesn't taste bad but trust me you feel it working.It's already time for another body scan I first have to go get blood test and then go for the synthroid withdrawal. I say that cause the take me off of my meds for 6 weeks. For 2 weeks I drink Cytomel then I take nothing and I feel like crap cause it feels like instead of 4 more weeks like months. Since I got so sick last year being off of my meds the dr said that maybe this year it was going to be different.My meds are so high(300mg) that after a week I already feel the body complaining. I hope everything came out ok. and I will let you know how mine comes out

Wow! Sounds like you have tried everything to beat this! That sounds tough doing that isolation at home! With kids and everything! I hope your scan comes back good. Don't want to have to go through all that again. What type of thyroid cancer do you have? I have papillary Throid cancer. I am going to my new endocrine doctor next week, I hope I won't have to go through the iodine treatment, cause the process does suck! Take care, SJS