FEARS

lajohnso4 · October 2003

Having completed my treatments for breat cancer and my follow-up-mamogram, chest x-ray and blood work my doctor informs me that everything looks good. But some days it hit me that this cancer may return. My surgical margins were negative and the lymph nodes that they removed were benign. But I worry about my progesterone receptor and HER2 that were negative, since they were negative I would not benefit from hormone therapy. I try to keep this in the back of my mind and focus on the day and I find this board very helpful in providing information and support. We all need a place to express our fears.

JKAlley · October 2003

Hi la, we all have those fears, and probably always will. Cancer diagnosis is very scary, and the chances of it returning is a big reason why. We just have to keep a positive attitude, and make every day count. By the way, being er/pr neg is harder because the cancer doesn't respond to hormone therapy, but being her2 neg is a very good thing, keep that in mind. It is wonderful that we have a place we can come to express our fears and have people totally understand. Keep in touch, and God bless. Judy

inkblot · October 2003

Hi lajohnso4:

Dealing with our survivorship fears, particularly early on, requires some major energy.
It's not easy to overcome living in fear of recurrence and/or mets but with effort it begins to turn round. For me it was about acceptance. Accepting that yes, it could return. Yes, I may one day die from it. Yes, I could have to endure more treatments and go down the same road all over again. ALSO, it may never return at all. I prefer to focus on living and loving each day and not giving any power to those negative thoughts. I'll save all that for if and when it ever recurs. Meantime, I've a life to get on with which deserves my full attention and participation. If we're busy thinking about all the gifts we have in our lives and living gratefully, we really can't get too down for very long.

That you were Her2/neu negative is a good thing.
That you've come through your treatments well is a wonderful thing! Just believe in yourself and your ability to rid yourself of "what if" fears.
That's all it is really...What If's. Those what if's can only rob us of our peace and joy if we allow it.

Being aware of our level of fear and concern is good because it gives us a leg up on understanding it and dealing with. A very important step in recovering from and managing our fear, is acknowledging it.

Just keep up the effort every day. Think positive and live positive. Take good care of yourself and do all that you can to insure good health...a healthy diet, exercise, supplements, rest and relaxation,etc.. It does get better with time and effort. Your best life is just waiting for you to grab it...by the tail, by the ear, by the leg...anything you can reach!

Just keep bringing your fears here (or any other support group you're involved in) and you'll find that someone will always be there to help you turn it around and get back on track. Helping one another is what it's all about.

Best wishes!

Love, light and laughter,
Ink

cammie · October 2003

We were perfect, not sick, healthy Women then bam. We didn't feel different, but here they are telling us we have cancer. That is why the fear is so great. We could have it right now and not even know it. I think oh boy if I have to do this again..... Or is that a lump that wasn't there yesterday...... (of course it isn't and I'm fine). Paranoid - But like everyone says you just gotta go on. I try to focus on my kids, husband, and myself. (Plus Zoloft helps a lot) We did it once, and if faced with it again, we will kick its butt again. In the meantime, football practice, basketball practice, birthday parties, roller skating, cooking, cleaning, all the everyday stuff instead of moaning about it like I use too, I love every second. Hang in there kiddo - We all are with you. Love Cammie

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