Living with cancer

mansi · October 2003

I want to share in other peoples experiences on living with breast cancer. I am 34,and was diagnosed of breast cancer 2 years ago.I was still breastfeeding my 6 months old baby when I notices a pink colour on the breast milk each time I expressed the milk( as a workingt mother) for the baby.At first I did not believe it but later i told my self better now than later. I thought that was early diagnosis. I stated treatment in Jan 2002 and had the mastectomy in MARCH 2002;there was no mastasis, I am Ok,on Novaldex and still doing regular check ups. But I am soo scared I feel I might die any moment from now; I am marry with two little boys 4years and 31 months. Please share you experiences with me.

SweetSue · October 2003

It's normal to be fearful;I promised myself that I would not live in fear. Since I've been diagnosed (Feb.,2003), I know of 4 "seemingly" healthy people who have died from accidents or heart attacks. I feel I could get in my car this afternoon and die. SO prayer replaces my fear, and I try to live each day to the fullest......treasuring every moment. I don't complain about boredom or the weather anymore.
With all the advances in medicine, you should live to see your grandchildren. I know a woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer 30 plus years ago;she outlived her 3 girlfriends who were worried about her health. One never knows.
May God be with you.
Sue

SweetSue · October 2003

Mansi, please go to about page 4 here....read the post by Lindysu.....titled"THree Year Survivor." Reading it may help.

bunnie · October 2003

Hi i know how you are feeling i was dignosed with breast cancer last year at the age of 34.had a mastecomy in jan of this year.Iam always worried about the cancer comeing back someplace else i try and not let it affect me though.It has given me a better out look on life live for today and dont worry about tommorow nobody knows when it is there time too go.Did you have Reconstruction?i havent yet but thinking about doing in this next year.so far my check ups have been good and iam coming up on a year that this night mare started.It sounds like you have a good husband though who has stuck by you be thankful for that.Bunnie(Amy)

hummingbyrd · October 2003

Mansi, I have a website that will address exactly what you are asking. Go to.....
www.urcctc.com
maybe it will help! God bless. (((HUGS)))hummingbyrd

bebe1976 · October 2003

Dear Mansy,
I can relate, although I have no children, cancer struck when I was 25 years old. It was early stage, but I was still scared. Was attending law school at the time and was told to drop out indefinately. I have been cancer free for a year now, a back in school, on Nolvadex, and engaged to be married next year. I also graduate from law school in May. My last mammogram before the wedding is scheduled for June and I am scared that it will ruin everything I've worked for. But you know what, being scared is normal, specially after this kind of diagnosis, you just have to get used to the idea that it may or may not come back. Live your life day to day, enjoy your children, and get involved in a support group in your area. Do not let fear stop you, for it will stop you from living. Everyone has their own time to go, live to the fulles untill yours comes, whenever that may be. You need not worry about the past for it is already gone, you need not worry about the future for it is not here yet...live life in the present for it will soon be gone.
Be good to yourself,
Jenn

inkblot · October 2003

Hello Mansi:

All the sentiments these ladies have expressed to you are right on target.

I think the really difficult thing for most of us to accept is the fact that there are no guarantees. No docs can say to us, with any degree of certainty, that we're cancer free or that it will never return. It's just our very human nature which leads us to want declarations of being completely "cured" in order to let go of the fears and begin to live our lives.

It's up to us. No one can fix us or rid us of the residual fears and issues of having had bc. Good counseling can help us to get headed into a positive direction...support and encouragement from our family and friends is wonderful...support groups, reading, workshops, many things can help us...still WE must do the work on a daily basis in order to find peace and learn to live our best lives.

Many things can help us find the strength to get there and it can be different for everyone. Just sit down and do an inventory of what's wonderful in your life. The things you're most grateful for. ALL the gifts you have. Your survival should be among them. What brings you joy? What things can you do for the special people in your life which fill you up and bring even more joy?

Next maybe make a list of the things you'd like to change in your life. Things about yourself. Things which would be good for you and rewarding or maybe just something new which you've thought about. Painting, sculpting, drawing, singing, playing an instrument, new exercise routine, new diet ideas, a new career, returning to school,
new things you can share just with your little ones. New or creative ways to share more family time. There are so many things to think about along those lines, the list is endless.

Perhaps you'd like to try some meditation/relaxation classes or just try something completely fun which appeals to you. Laughter is great medicine! It's still ok, you know, to laugh. At life, at yourself, whatever. The important thing is to lighten your burdens and your heart. Let the child which is in us all, OUT.

I know you're very busy with 2 little ones. Still it's important to make time just for yourself and your healing. The stronger, more peaceful and resourceful you become, the more you can share with your loved ones.

I've realized that life truly is a "here today and gone tomorrow" event. The one thing we can choose to take charge of is our responses to life's ups and downs. We can learn new behaviors and new ways of coping which are healthier and more peaceful. It does take some time but there's no time like now to start shedding some of that old skin and allowing more of the sparkle that is you, to shine through. Maybe only a little can be managed today, but more can be managed tomorrow and more still to come. A constant effort will get you there. It's a process. So, be patient with yourself as you work it all out, knowing that many of us have traveled the same road and if we can do it, you can do it.

My philosophy is that more important than how long we live on this earth is how well we choose to live. Not in a materialistic fashion, not the size of our house or bank account, but in the way we treat others, the way we treat ourselves, what we can give to others, what we can share with others, etc.. These are the things which really contribute in a lasting way to what our lives are about.

In the end, it's the daily emotions, states of mind and feelings which reflect who we are. All these things which make us who we are, radiate outward and often bounce back to us, just like sonar. So, it's very worthwhile to love and nurture yourself and your spirit so you can share it all the more, free from overwhelming fears.

I am over 2 and a half years out now and I'm still learning every single day. If we seek we truly do find. As the mother of a teenager, some days (as any mom of teens could confirm) I don't even need to seek...things just find me! Ha. Example: My son is currently learning to drive. Now if I was very afraid that bc may come back and kill me, this "right of passage" with teens would quickly bring home the fact that I may well have my worry focused in the wrong direction completely! It can truly be a fright to get into that passenger seat with your "baby" at the controls! If a situation arises, are his instincts solid enough to maybe only put us in a ditch and scare us or will his instincts wrap us around a tree or something worse? Ha. All I can say for certain is that this is risk taking at its finest. Still, I get into that passenger seat on an almost daily basis and away we go, learning, together, our limitations while also expanding our horizons and experiences. There are many ways to check out of this life and sharing in teaching a teenager to drive can bring
many of them to mind, at once! Ha.

All of us here have been to what I refer to as "the mountain". And it was a very frightening and ugly place. But it's hardly deserving of becoming the total of who we are. You can choose to climb an even higher and better mountain. Choose to let the painful experience dissolve into being a part of your history, where it belongs. Find ways to begin to climb on toward your better and most beautiful life.

These are some thoughts and efforts which helped me to find the directions I needed to go in order to put the fears and insults of bc to bed. To find my way beyond the experience. I hope that you may find something you can use in this or at least something which may helpful in some small way.

I wish you wonderful discoveries on your road to recovery. They're right there, you only need to decide to go get em!

Love, light and laughter,
Ink

JAN22 · October 2003

THINK POSITIVE, I also had breast cancer, in January 2003, I had my mastectomy, and tramflap. It was a six hour surgery but , it's all over and its out , that is the best part . I am 37 yrs. old and have two childeren ages 10 and 3,my life as I see it now is changed, but have more respect for the small things in life, and live each day , knowing a won, and I made it through a very hard test in my life.

SweetSue · October 2003

A surgeon on tv was talking about a 31 year-old mom of 2 who had breast cancer and 22 positive nodes.....the surgeon even cried. Fifteen years later, the mom is still alive. Hooray!!!!!

Living with cancer

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