My mom died :(

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR MOTHER, CANCER OF ANY SORT IS A LIFE CHANGE, ON MANY DIFFERENT LVELS. THE ANGELS ARE WITH WITH HER AND WATCHING OVER YOU. TAKE CARE, FIND STRENGTH IN HER LOVE .

EVERYDAY
its been over a year now and not one day goes by that i dont think about her . all my heart does is hurt , but it does hurt alittle bit less every days.thats all i can tell you , i wish i could by more positive , but oh my goodness it is so hard to deal with the pain.

so sorry for your loss
Hi Snowgirl,

I am so sorry for your loss. I am 26 years old and my mom was just diagnosed with uterine cancer on Wednesday. Although she is still with me, I can only imagine what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kind Regards,

Amanda

skow86 said:

hi
my mom passed away in july from breast cancer. i am an only child and she was my best friend. its soo numbing at first but then you wake up one day and realize that you went a whole day without crying and its enlightning! you realize you are a hell of alot stronger then you ever thought you could be. i also find that i ask myself before i make any serious decisions" what would mom want me to do?" its actually helped me make so many intelligent decisions. you can email me i dont know anyone that has lost a parent.

blair

Blair...what a wonderful daughter you are!
Blair, I am so sorry about the loss of your Mom. It is obvious that you and your Mom had a wonderful relationship. I know the loss if huge, but to get through a day without crying is HUGE! She obviously gave you a great sense of values particularly when you find such wonderful guidance when you consider what "Mom would want me to do" before making serious decisions....I think she is smiling and urging you on!!

In peace....Karen

skow86 said:

hi
my mom passed away in july from breast cancer. i am an only child and she was my best friend. its soo numbing at first but then you wake up one day and realize that you went a whole day without crying and its enlightning! you realize you are a hell of alot stronger then you ever thought you could be. i also find that i ask myself before i make any serious decisions" what would mom want me to do?" its actually helped me make so many intelligent decisions. you can email me i dont know anyone that has lost a parent.

blair

Me too.
I was an only child too. My mom was a single parent. She was my best friend and I feel like a huge part of me has been ripped out. She's been gone a month now. It happened so fast I still can't believe it. 18 days between diagnosis and her passing. She was in a lot of pain and she told me that she wanted to go so, I put her into hospice. She was assymptomatic (or so she said) until a few days before her diagnosis. It's crazy. I'm a nurse and I keep second guessing myself now, I should have done this, maybe this is what I should have done. On and on. I don't know. I guess it was her time. But I miss her so much every single day. It hurts. Anyway, sorry, this is all very new for me. I never saw this coming. She, my husband and I were supposted to be moving to Nashville later this year. We had so many plans. Everybody loses their parent. Thats a normal part of life but it's a huge blow.

skow86 said:

hi
my mom passed away in july from breast cancer. i am an only child and she was my best friend. its soo numbing at first but then you wake up one day and realize that you went a whole day without crying and its enlightning! you realize you are a hell of alot stronger then you ever thought you could be. i also find that i ask myself before i make any serious decisions" what would mom want me to do?" its actually helped me make so many intelligent decisions. you can email me i dont know anyone that has lost a parent.

blair

looking forward
hey blair,
my mom passed away a month ago. can't begin to see through the muck.

looking forward to the day you described.

mahalo

Sunshinej said:

Still hard
My mom died of lung cancer about a year and a half ago. The first week of my senior year in highschool. She fought it for 2 years and then it came back. She fought even harder still but the doctors gave her 2-3 months to live. Before we knew it her lungs were filling up with liquid from the tumors and she got pneumonia. She died within a few days. They had her so doped up I never got a chance to tell her goodbye. Watching her take her last breath was the hardest thing in the world. She was such an amazing woman. I am still so angry at the world. It feels like their isn't anyone who understands and I find myself holding all these things in and feel like a caged bear. Now my grandpa (moms dad) is dieing from the same thing she did. Going to his house to visit him is like torture. Not only does it hurt to see him slipping, it's ripping open the wound of my mom dieing again. His house is filled with the same noises and machines as my house was when my mom was sick. I just realized last night how bad it's been affecting me, it's like I can't stop emotionally torturing myself. Her pictures, music from her funeral, a stuffed animal, I've been in a sobbing coma. Ontop of all this my dad has his first girlfriend and that's the icing on the cake. I'm sorry this is so long, once it started to come out it wouldn't stop.

Let it out Sunshinej
Dear Sunshinej, I am so sorry that you had to lose your mom so young. How devastating. Do you have a grandma too or is it just your grandpa? Maybe you could take a little break from his illness so that you can grieve for your mom. It's inevitable that you are gonna run across things that remind you of her. And it's going to hurt. You can't hold all these feelings in. They are totally normal but if you repress them like that it'll just end up really hurting you and maybe the people around you. Finding people who understand what you have been thru and are still going thru is what this site is all about. People who haven't experienced this DON'T understand. You have to walk thru it to get it. I lost my mom 6 1/2 weeks ago. She was diagnosed on 1/2/10 and died on 1/20. It was ridiculously fast. She was 69 so I had a lot more time with her but I miss her so much. She was my absolute best friend. She was the sunshine in my life. I've been crying all day today (I'm off work). My husband doesn't get it. He thinks I'm cranky. Which I am but I really can't help it. He tries. Some of my friends listen but I really try not to be too morose but what I really want to do is cry and throw things and scream. This SUCKS!!!! This is the worst club I've ever been a part of. But people do listen. And they're going thru really similar things. Hang in there Sunshine. I've heard it gets better but I really haven't had a good day since she passed. Take care of yourself sweetie.
Holly

Sunshinej said:

Still hard
My mom died of lung cancer about a year and a half ago. The first week of my senior year in highschool. She fought it for 2 years and then it came back. She fought even harder still but the doctors gave her 2-3 months to live. Before we knew it her lungs were filling up with liquid from the tumors and she got pneumonia. She died within a few days. They had her so doped up I never got a chance to tell her goodbye. Watching her take her last breath was the hardest thing in the world. She was such an amazing woman. I am still so angry at the world. It feels like their isn't anyone who understands and I find myself holding all these things in and feel like a caged bear. Now my grandpa (moms dad) is dieing from the same thing she did. Going to his house to visit him is like torture. Not only does it hurt to see him slipping, it's ripping open the wound of my mom dieing again. His house is filled with the same noises and machines as my house was when my mom was sick. I just realized last night how bad it's been affecting me, it's like I can't stop emotionally torturing myself. Her pictures, music from her funeral, a stuffed animal, I've been in a sobbing coma. Ontop of all this my dad has his first girlfriend and that's the icing on the cake. I'm sorry this is so long, once it started to come out it wouldn't stop.

A Poem for Your Loss and hope to help you Cope
Poem for you for your Loss

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the memories you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that he is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd wanted:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.” - C.Brent

My mom passed away on May 10 this year too
Hi My mom died after a brave battle with breast cancer too only this past May and Im 49. No matter what age this happens you gonna feel like an orphan thats the only way I can describe the feeling. My mom was my best friend too and I tried to help her fight that beast the best that I could but it didnt matter the beast one. When I get down which is alot still I think of her and how sick she was and I tell myself it would have been selfish to keep her here for me. Its never gonna go away but we will realize that our lives have changed forever we dont ever forget about our moms but we both know in our hearts that they would never want us to feel sad. I go outside on my porch every night cry my eyes out and talk to her, she is the brightest star in the sky and I ask her to let me know somehow that she hears me! You know there have been alot of my prayers answered lately. Im not religious I do believe in God but some of the things that have happened just blow me away sometimes. I had a pug that was so sick we didnt think he was gonna make it. His trachia closed up from phenomia so bad at times his tongue and lips were purple. I took him outside one night when he couldnt breath and asked my mom to help. I was afraid he was going to die in my arms. By the next day he was 75% better and totaly recovered in 3 days. The vets told me that it was his whole trechia and there was nothing that could be done but antibiotics. My mom was an avid animal lover and use to go one real rescues with me and help me with the rescue dogs. I know in my heart she is there watching over me and I know your mom is watching over you to. You just have to take time alone to talk to her and tell her how you are feeling and believe me your prayers will be answered. Mom knows best, mom kisses all booboos and makes them better and your mom will help you through this you just have to ask.

Hollyanne said:

Me too.
I was an only child too. My mom was a single parent. She was my best friend and I feel like a huge part of me has been ripped out. She's been gone a month now. It happened so fast I still can't believe it. 18 days between diagnosis and her passing. She was in a lot of pain and she told me that she wanted to go so, I put her into hospice. She was assymptomatic (or so she said) until a few days before her diagnosis. It's crazy. I'm a nurse and I keep second guessing myself now, I should have done this, maybe this is what I should have done. On and on. I don't know. I guess it was her time. But I miss her so much every single day. It hurts. Anyway, sorry, this is all very new for me. I never saw this coming. She, my husband and I were supposted to be moving to Nashville later this year. We had so many plans. Everybody loses their parent. Thats a normal part of life but it's a huge blow.

Sorry for your loss
Hi Hollyanne, I too have lossed my mom and the lonliness and heart break that I feel each and everyday is unbelievable. My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the day after Thanksgiving in 2006. She was in so much pain prior to going to the doctor, but she never liked to go to the doctor. Not sure that anything would be any different if she had been diagnosed any earlier. My mom did not want any treatment so I honored that even though I wanted to be selfish and have her undertake the treatment, but I loved her so much that I truly told her to make the decision without guilt. I had just gotten married (the second time) in October. From the day of diagnosis until the time of her passing was three months. I stayed with my mom and dad every day/night and took care of her. I would not have traded that time for anything. It was awful to watch her suffer and it was awful to watch her die. I have two children. My children and myslef were the highlight of my mom's life. She loved us with everthing she had. My oldest was 12 1/2 and she passed on my youngest 7th birthday, which was two days before her 65th birthday. I can remember my little guy asking his grandma if she was going to be here for his birthday and she promised that she would be. On his birthday, I returned from his school after taking cupcakes and a special lunch to him and she passed 10 minutes after I told her that he had his treats. She held on for 63 days without food or water.........who does that? Sorry to ramble on about this, but I hope that knowing that there are others out there facing the very same thing that you are might help. I amazed at how I can still be so sad and disheartened almost everyday. I put on a good front for my children, but deep down in my heart, I ache and ache and ache. I spoke to my mom everyday two or three times a day. She always wanted the boys over and loved them immensly. Oh, I love the memories, but will never be able to get past the loss of my mom. I just take one day at a time and hope that it gets me through the day. i do allow myself to cry and cray and cray when it happens. May you have a blessed day