Update on my longtime friend

Snookums
Snookums Member Posts: 148
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My friend had several nodes that were positive during her bi lateral masectomy. (Did right side as a precaution) SoO, now she is terribly afraid. She now knows radiation and chemo are on the way. I had no positive nodes so, what do I tell her now? What do positive nodes mean as far as how far the cancer has progressed? I now thank God that I had the stage I had! I want so badly to help her thru this. Of course, I know what chemo is like but my fear is if hers is much worse what can I say? I guess the same thing I said- we will fight it with all we have. I just don't want to sound "Polly Anna ish" while she is going to have a longer and worse fight on her hands than I did/do. thanks for "listening"

Comments

  • jake10
    jake10 Member Posts: 202
    #2
    Right now positive thoughts and expressions are appropriate. If treatments don't work there is plenty of time for reality. Pollyanna was a really nice person! The greatest gift you can give her is to listen. You might not know exactly what she is going through as the treatment will be different and you will not have all the answers. But you do know what the fear is like and you do know how the word cancer effects your soul. You can share that bazzar cancer victim/survivor humor with her. You can also make lack of boob jokes.
    I too have a close friend who has a much worse disease than I did/do. She's now getting chemo and all her hair fell out in one day. I buy every funny hat I see and the pretty ones as well. We laugh and cry together. She hates my hair and I hate her bald head. We're there for each other. Beth
  • ryley
    ryley Member Posts: 55
    #3
    My friend had breast cancer 10 years ago, but not as bad as mine was. She was still a source of inspiration and information to me. She made me all my hats (she's an excellent sewer) and her hair never fell out during her chemo.

    Thing is, everybody's experience with cancer is different. Different types; sizes; mets; bodies react differently; doctor's treat it differently, so don't stress about your differences. You are both going through the fight of your life and all your friend wants is for you to be there for her.

    Good luck and love to you both,
    Ryley
  • mc2001
    mc2001 Member Posts: 343
    #4
    Hi Snook!
    Kudos for you to want to help your friend. It seems to me that you are fussing over the medical ans scientific aspect of the differences in your types of cancers. Leave that for the professionals. Right now your friend needs moral and emotional support. That does not come from having the same type of cancer or the same side effects. Try to let her ask the questions and just be there for her. Take care and God bless
    -mc
  • mc2001
    mc2001 Member Posts: 343
    #5
    Hi Snook!
    Kudos for you to want to help your friend. It seems to me that you are fussing over the medical ans scientific aspect of the differences in your types of cancers. Leave that for the professionals. Right now your friend needs moral and emotional support. That does not come from having the same type of cancer or the same side effects. Try to let her ask the questions and just be there for her. Take care and God bless
    -mc

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