How to support SIL

SusanCan
SusanCan Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My 36 year old Sister in law (who I think of as a sister) has aggressive breast cancer - it has gone to her bones and liver. She was taking oral chemo, but it didn't work and her liver spot spread. Now her gall bladder hurts because of the closeness to the liver they are saying. Obviously she isn't feeling great about all this.

My question is - how do I support her, talk to her, etc. I also want to go with her to appointments and for her next round of treatment, but wonder how she would feel about it.

Also, I am so sick of, and mad at people that are acting like that is it for her. I finally - and firmly - said that I know the statistics, but she isn't a statistic, she is an individual and will continue that way.

Thank you.

Susan

Comments

  • SweetSue
    SweetSue Member Posts: 217
    #2
    I often think of Lance Armstrong who had a 5% chance of survival.....he survived and went on to win 5 Tour de France races.
    About your sister-in-law.......just be there for her in every way....call , visit, drive, send cards....whatever it takes!!!!!!
    Some friends and relatives will not be there for her....so bless you!!!!!!!!!!!
    Sue
  • momof4
    momof4 Member Posts: 56
    #3
    Hi Susan, be there for you sister in law give her all the love you can and let her vent all she can and want, give her the best shoulder and listening ear that you can give anyone and most of all dont ever loose HOPE as i am done finishing this post to you i will say a special prayer to Saint Jude for your sister in law.
    hugs Mariateresa
  • hummingbyrd
    hummingbyrd Member Posts: 950 Member
    #4
    Maybe this will help.....I have a website called Conquering Cancer Through Christ. It's at
    www.urcctc.com
    Front page has suggestions on how to deal with 'the diagnosis'. You are absolutely right, statistics don't mean a thing, not to me anyway. I'd be dead by now if they did! (According to my doctors). Anyway, won't hurt to check it out. We also have a message board and a chat room. Leave a message, if you want, the site is filled with some really great prayer warriers! God bless you. SIL is lucky to have someone who cares so much. hummingbyrd
  • joules112
    joules112 Member Posts: 23
    #5
    I'm a 14 year stage 4a survivor given no chance of ever leaving hospital. HA! showed them!!!! Just be there, offer to take her to appts. let her know you care about her and want to help in any way. The oddest thing and ended up being the most helpful was an older gentleman friend from church just showed up one day and shined all our shoes. It was something that would of needed doing and now every time I put on my shoes I think of him and smile.

    If she's got kids - offer to take them for the day or evening. Allow her to take a nap. If it's something you need to do at your house - chances are - she'd need it done too! Best of luck for your sister in law and you too.

    I will put her on prayer lists, too!

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