esopageal cancer

I don't know if I really need help, but I just under went surgery and had my esophagus,pharnyx, the false tonsils, part of my parasinus's, 28 lymph nodes and the base of my tongue removed back in March. I have just got over all the radiation burns. I'm still having trouble swallowing but I can keep my weight up because my husband buys all the milkshakes for me that we can afford. The bad thing now is my sweet tooth is gone and I have lost the desire to eat. I am very depressed and to top things off my husband is having problems with his heart. I have no one but my 3 kids who I don't want to rely on for anything. Because they are still young and all but one still just think of themselves the other one has good intentions but is no help cause he lives over 100 miles from us. Some times I feel like I should of never had the surgery. For some reason I can't seem to get out of this depressed slump. We have good insurance (thank God), on the other hand my husband hasn't work since last Nov.(nearly a year now) and the Dr's are still having me go back and forth. I have heard of stoma dilation because they are talking about doing that with me but I don't know if that means I have to wait to get my prothesis or what. I really need to just get it over with so my husband will go back to work. I'm feeling kinda silly writing this because I really don't think there is anything any one can do. There is one thing that is only my opinion but I feel some web sites that try to make jokes about Laryngectomies is pretty pithetic, I haven't found a joke that was funny yet. I may just be me but I think it is very offensive. Well I guess that's it. I also not real sure if this is going to the right place. This is my first time to use this site. But I appreciate the feeling of getting a few things off my chest whether any one writes back or not. Thank-you.