Are we ready for our own chat room?

ronit
ronit Member Posts: 10
edited March 2014 in Lesbians Talk About Cancer #1
As I watch our discussion group grow (very slowly, but at least it's growing!) I wonder if we're ready for our own chat room now. The Director of the Cancer Survivor's Network is a FANTASTIC person and she has told me that if there is sufficient interest, they can set up our own chat room. This means that we can log on and chat in real time with each other. That's the good part. The bad part is that if you're the only one in the chat room it can be pretty lonely (my attempt at humor!) what we could do in that case is pick a time that many of us can be available and go live at those times only. Or, it can be live all the time and you just take a chance that someone's there. Please can you think about it and let me know what you all think , your suggestions etc.
Much love,
Ronit

Comments

  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #2
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • shubunkin
    shubunkin Member Posts: 60
    #3
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Amen Foxyroxy.Good Lord, why should we separate each other by gender. Peace
  • lneuma1
    lneuma1 Member Posts: 10
    #4
    shubunkin said:

    Amen Foxyroxy.Good Lord, why should we separate each other by gender. Peace

    Alright already! We all have cancer in common, and this group is not formed to exclude anyone, but support comes in different wrappers. If I felt I was the only purple-skinned, three-nosed Venutian who prayed to Isis...who also had cancer...I would be delighted and relieved to read about another soul with these things in common and eager to hear the particular challenges and experiences they had. Lighten up.
  • kal5359
    kal5359 Member Posts: 2
    #5
    lneuma1 said:

    Alright already! We all have cancer in common, and this group is not formed to exclude anyone, but support comes in different wrappers. If I felt I was the only purple-skinned, three-nosed Venutian who prayed to Isis...who also had cancer...I would be delighted and relieved to read about another soul with these things in common and eager to hear the particular challenges and experiences they had. Lighten up.

    I definitely am interested in having a lesbian touched by cancer chat room....if there is still interest count me in! Politicians may discriminate against us...but cancer doesn't discriminate!
  • karishea
    karishea Member Posts: 2
    #6
    I was surprised to see that some women were offended by the idea of a lesbian chat room. Of course, I realize it's hard for some folks to understand that we are faced with some different issues as gay women dealing with cancer. For instance, the very first thing I noticed when filling out paperwork for the hospital was the question of marital status. The options were married, (impossible for gay couples in 49 states,) single, which I am not, and widowed. It may not sound like much, but a little square labled "domestic partner" would have gone a long way towards making me feel included. Next, the social worker hands me a pile of literature designed to ease me into the idea of having cancer and info on what to expect, etc. The brochures, though helpful, were filled with pictures of heterosexual couples in various poses of love and support. Lovely, but again, lesbians are all but invisible. I was never treated differently by my doctors, but it's those subtle exclusions that make us feel apart in some way. Yes, we can all share in discussions and support each other as women experiencing cancer and it's fallout, but sometimes there is a need to get specific. I personally think it's a fine idea and should be viewed as a way to include, not exclude, women of all persuasions and provide a forum which, quite frankly, may be more comfortable for gay women.
  • Niece
    Niece Member Posts: 2
    #7
    I agree 100% on our own chat room!!!!
    I also think it should be live all the time.When someone needs to talk it would be nice to know there could be a chance that someone is in there, instead of knowing they have to wait for a certain time period to talk.
    Niece
  • BARBARATT
    BARBARATT Member Posts: 16
    #8
    I HAVE BEEN A CSN MEMBER FOR 7 MONTHS NOW AND I AM A LESBIAN. I HAVE DISCUSSED IT IN THE CHAT ROOM AND PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT, OTHERS DON'T CARE , SOME ARE OFFENDED. I WOULD BE PLEASE TO HAVE A LESBIAN GROUP. BARBARATT OR BTBTBTSTING@AOL.COM
  • Xathena
    Xathena Member Posts: 2
    #9
    I stumbled on here because i was looking for a place to find some one who shared my pain. I am no different from the woman next to me except for one thing...I am a woman who loves other women. So that does make me different. Yes cancer makes us all the same but who i choose to love and who loves me makes me different. What is wrong with having one more place to go...if you don't think we need a shoulder to cry on from someone who understands my pain is more than cancer; when we are not allowed at the bed side of our partner because it is "next of kind only" then please don't come in....but know that we will never turn you away. Love with no judgement.
  • Stirfrye4
    Stirfrye4 Member Posts: 2
    #10
    Xathena said:

    I stumbled on here because i was looking for a place to find some one who shared my pain. I am no different from the woman next to me except for one thing...I am a woman who loves other women. So that does make me different. Yes cancer makes us all the same but who i choose to love and who loves me makes me different. What is wrong with having one more place to go...if you don't think we need a shoulder to cry on from someone who understands my pain is more than cancer; when we are not allowed at the bed side of our partner because it is "next of kind only" then please don't come in....but know that we will never turn you away. Love with no judgement.

    Hey X, I also found this place, I seem to have missed a step, is there a place where, "women" can actually talk, about anything except "boys", thanks for your impute, still searching for a place to, just "talk" about what cancer does to one. Thank you.
  • Xathena
    Xathena Member Posts: 2
    #11
    Stirfrye4 said:

    Hey X, I also found this place, I seem to have missed a step, is there a place where, "women" can actually talk, about anything except "boys", thanks for your impute, still searching for a place to, just "talk" about what cancer does to one. Thank you.

    Stirfrye I have tried the chat room available here it was nice however I am stilling needing more. I think this message board discussion has turned into a debate on whether or not there can be a room for "us" to talk. I am still searching...e-mail me Xathena68@aol.com, lets talk. I am looking for a place to talk openly. Who can make the room a reality? Ronit? Help?
  • freakygirl
    freakygirl Member Posts: 2
    #12
    if we can keep this "drama" of the "lesbian" lifestyle out of the chat room, I am all for a chatroom... I am new to the site but don't want to get into this "separation thing" .. I too would have been much more comfortable if my partner was not shunned by my surgeon and my parents were welcomed although I am 34 years old.... COUNT ME IN
  • EarthMother
    EarthMother Member Posts: 1
    #13
    freakygirl said:

    if we can keep this "drama" of the "lesbian" lifestyle out of the chat room, I am all for a chatroom... I am new to the site but don't want to get into this "separation thing" .. I too would have been much more comfortable if my partner was not shunned by my surgeon and my parents were welcomed although I am 34 years old.... COUNT ME IN

    Hello, Ladies. I stumbled across your discussion group while surfing the Net.

    I do qualify as a member of your group as both a Lesbian and also a survivor of uterine cancer.

    My main interest though is your collective desire for a chat room to call home. I just so happen to administer a non-commercial Lesbian Community that features real-time Java VolanoChat rooms. This Community has been in operation since 1998. You are all quite welcome to visit and decide for yourselves if it is appropriate for your group's room. If so, kindly contact me and we shall discuss the room's title.

    I am uncertain if URLs are allowed displayed on this board, but the website address is altladies.com.

    Thank you for listening, Ladies.

    Good day.


    EM
    :)
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #14
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • clik212
    clik212 Member Posts: 3
    #15
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    are we ready for homophobia
    Hey foxyroxy,

    Your comment is exactly why we need our own chat room. Thanks for confirming that for us.
    BTW your statement reads as if cancer is something we all "need." I guess you were so outraged by the idea that gay and lesbian people would like affirmation from each other in this hetero centered site that you made a subconscious error. Gay people face very different social and family challenges that perhaps you have not thought about which affects their battle with disease on various levels.

    Your scolding is really inappropriate. Are we not deserving of respect?
  • greta
    greta Member Posts: 237 Member
    #16
    clik212 said:

    are we ready for homophobia
    Hey foxyroxy,

    Your comment is exactly why we need our own chat room. Thanks for confirming that for us.
    BTW your statement reads as if cancer is something we all "need." I guess you were so outraged by the idea that gay and lesbian people would like affirmation from each other in this hetero centered site that you made a subconscious error. Gay people face very different social and family challenges that perhaps you have not thought about which affects their battle with disease on various levels.

    Your scolding is really inappropriate. Are we not deserving of respect?

    Greetings and Welcome
    Hi clik,

    I'm American Cancer Society staff and responsibie for CSN.

    I found the post offensive; the member and the post have been deleted. Members have the option to flag posts that are offensive and/or those violate our site terms and conditions. No one had flagged that post and it slipped through the cracks. I apologize for this! Hope you will stick around and get to know us.

    Warmly,
    Greta
    aka "Your CSN Staff"
  • Luvoutrch3@comcast.net
    Luvoutrch3@comcast.net Member Posts: 1
    #17
    Xathena said:

    Stirfrye I have tried the chat room available here it was nice however I am stilling needing more. I think this message board discussion has turned into a debate on whether or not there can be a room for "us" to talk. I am still searching...e-mail me Xathena68@aol.com, lets talk. I am looking for a place to talk openly. Who can make the room a reality? Ronit? Help?

    Are we ready for our own chat room?
    You bet we're READY! REgardless of one's lifestyle and sexual preference, not only are we ready for our own chat rooms, we are also more than ready for our own unique understanding of the spiritual realm. Note I didn't say of our own faith, but of our own God our own Divine Spirit and or own concept and understanding of a Higher Power. In my case, the cancer was an erroneous diagnosis. Yet they proceeded with surgery. But, I'm a minister, and I'm convinced that if I did have cancer, by the time I was operated on (eight months after diagnosis), there was no evidence of it. I have the medical records to prove it.

    I'm ALSO an author of two books. Ready and learn how how I became a very spiritual person. I even asked my doctor if she believe in spiritual healing. Very, very RELUCTANTLY she admitted that she did, but only for a few and very select people. That was in 2001. I'm as strong as ever. even though I've also had bi-pass surgery. Now, I'm writing books about spirituality versus religion. Please contact me. My views just may make your life happier. One of the most liberating ways to rise above the religious understanding of God, can also be be found in I John, verse 4 to 16:

    "We are of God...and have over come them. Because greater is the spirit that is in you, than he that is in the world. We are of God. Hereby, we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error (established ancient religion). Let us love one another, for LOVE is of God, and everyone that loves is born of God, and knows God. For God is LOVE."

    From the moment you internalize this concept of LOVE, and accept that the bible also says that the (LOVE) or same spirit of God is within you...help is one the way. For me it was healing. for you it may be joy, love, freedom, understanding, new joy and self love. At least it lets you know that you are special in the eyes or of your Creator.

    For all who read this, let love be your guide. Go to my new website: wwwsexissacred or go to www.godsexandthebible. In them you find that God truly is our universal spirit, the maker and creator of every male and every female and their precious and unique orientation. My view is that it occurred at the initial orgasmic moment in the womb, as the frenzied and exciting creative MOMENT that fertilization begans. That's the moment that all new life happens--that's the moment that mating is sacred. In the midst of that divine moment, the creator has unique reasons and uniques reaons for specialties, fand for differences beyond human understanding. That's why self-love is so self empowering.

    Sending love your way: Rev. Dr. Doloes...(doctor of divinity, honorably)

    Yes...its time form a unique and special chat room...especially one that includes a Pastor who understands.

Discussion Boards