disappointed in friends and relatives

Sweet-O, I know just how you feel. I really depend on these people to be part of my support group. I have an Aunt and Uncle who have yet to call me and one friend who just stopped communicating. I feel like she thinks I'm going to die and can't stand to be a part of that. Who knows if that is the reason, but that is the only thing I can think why she would do that. Another so called friend says she would call me, but doesn't want to bother me. Come on people, bother me!! I need you now more than ever. When she told me that I just wanted to scream at her to call me anytime, please. I did say that, but it hasn't made a differance. Oh well, I guess we have to do like you are doing and concentrate on those people who are willing to be there for us. God bless Sweet-O and like that (stupid) song says "Be Happy" amelia

Sweet-Onion.
I am sorry to hear about your concerns, know that you have a lot of support from this site and we are all hear to listen. Good luck and God Bless You. Minnie

cammie said:

Sweet - Onion - boy can I relate. I finally realize that we have a aura about us. It shouts out if you get to close or help to much you might also catch breast cancer. My close friend (and boss) fired me during chemo treatments. She couldn't comprehend or understand my emotional and physical changes. I had to go into work one day and take off my wig and show her "I Am Sick". She cried with me and told me that she thought I was dying. I thought we had it all straightened out, but a month after that she let me go. (In New Hampshire you can fire someone if you don't like their nose or whatever. ) With family I had trouble. I made one person I could count on my general. I told her my needs and wants and she called different people to help from the list. My own father has not even acknowledged I have cancer and hasn't called me. ( We were pretty close before.) Like I said it is a aura about us that scares people. Then there are the people that you were not so close to step up to the plate and really support you. Amazing Angels come out of the woodwork and you have more friends then you ever knew you had. Hang in there. Feel free to e-mail me. Cammied@adelphia.net

SweetOnion, I too can understand what you feel. Sometimes people just amaze me. I think what we have to try to understand is that some people just don't know what to say or how to handle it, so instead of saying or doing the wrong thing, they just do nothing. I guess what they don't realize is doing nothing IS the wrong thing. The only thing I know to do is just accept this, and move on to those who are there for me. As others have said, you'll find support at the most unexpected times. I just try to stay strong and as positive as I can, and damn I'm going to get through this, even if I have to on my own. Good luck, and keep in touch, Judy

Sweet Onion:
I was diagnosed a year a half ago and although my 4 sisters have always been close with each other, I was always left out. Whenever something happened in their lives they were always there for each other and I was always there for them. This is the 2nd major illness I have had to go through completely by myself, so I truely understand how you feel. I am completely alone. All of my friends have disappeared and I do not have any children and am not married. I really thought that when this happened my family would be there for me. That did not happen. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. One thing I am certain of is that with or without support you can do anything if you stay positive evan on the days when it is difficult. Remember it's up to you anyway. You are worth it. This is my first time in the discussion board,and I could use a friend as well. One thing I do when I am having a day where I am a little down, I do something that will make me happy. I am doing something for me tomorrow. I am leaving for California. I am going to rent a car and just drive the coastline and enjoy the scenery. This something I have wanted to do for years. You have a friend here when you need one.

I understand how you feel. On one hand I have support from my husband/sons and co-workers. However, other family members don't seem concerned at all. What I've realized is that we do need someone to be there for us. Having this site available has helped me more than I realize. I'm three weeks post-op and haven't started any treatments. Focus on those that are supporting you and hold on to that. It will get you through when you need it.

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