Scared to Death

Hi Fennella:

Everything the other ladies have said applies and I hope it will all prove helpful in giving you encouragement.

Go ahead and cry it all out. In between the tears, the best way to spend your time is in getting informed. As someone mentioned before, you can get to a point wherein all the info is too much. Just take a break and go do something else...something demanding which takes your mind off all the stats and treatment options. You WILL get past this initial shock stage and you will make the best decisions for yourself. Once you make your surgical and treatment decisions, you will feel some sense of relief, having that part of it behind you.

This is a scary time and it's ok to be afraid. We are all afraid of things unknown. It may help to remember that life is full of unknowns, every single day. Another thing which someone told me, shortly after my diagnosis was this: nobody dies of breast cancer right away. That realization helped me to get a grip on the fact that I had work to do and to get the ball rolling in order to make my treatment decisions and move forward with it. My doctor told me that surgery alone is often curative for bc but due to so many unknowns, the chemo and radiation are insurance.

I had lumpectomy and have been very happy with that decision. My breasts are what I'd call average size and my tumor was 1 cm. I also had the sentinel node dissection. My scars are very small and I have no complaints. The lumpectomy vs. mastectomy question has been scientifically answered and demonstrates no difference between survival/recurrence rates with either procedure. Breast size/tumor size is important concerning the cosmetic result you can expect following lumpectomy. The larger the tumor the less healthy breast tissue you'll have remaining after surgery. Talk extensively with your surgeon as he/she can tell you what to expect with both procedures in your particular case. Keep in mind that a mastectomy cannot remove ALL breast tissue and recurrences in the remaining tissue and/or the chest wall occur at rates at which are no smaller or greater than for lumpectomy.

I've experienced no arm problems whatsoever and have no numbness, tingling or limitations on the effected side. I healed quickly and well and didn't need pain meds post surgery. I had some discomfort, yes, but no real pain. After the first couple of days it was no big deal really and was far less traumatic than I'd expected. I was out of the surgical bra on day 3 and with the pressure bandages gone, I was much more comfortable with each day being better and better.

Study and become familar with your pathology report and make a list of questions you may have for your doctors. I found a lot of helpful info. at www.nci.nih.gov There are a lot of great bc books which can help you to understand terminology and treatment options, staging, etc., so read, read, read. Don't feel rushed because this is YOUR body and you want to know that you made the best decisions for yourself and you want to feel confident about that, all the way through your journey.

We all hear "cancer" and we think "death". That's a normal enough reaction but you will soon come to realize that this is not the case at all. It's our fear making us think this way. Surround yourself with positive, forward thinking people, make your decisions and never look back. Forward is the only way to go. Finally, realize that your journey can change you in some amazing and wonderful ways if you are determined to find the best, even on your worst days. Just little steps, one at a time and before you know it, you will see that you've come a long way. You CAN stare this beast in the face and say I WILL NOT succumb to fear and I WILL NOT let having bc wreck my life.

Perspective takes a bit of time and there's nothing like knowledge and sharing with other's who've been where you are, to help you get to it.
This journey can take you up and down and all round but remember, the one thing you CAN control is your response to it, every single day. It's work and not always easy but I think you'll find
it well worth your efforts.

Just take good care of you and treat yourself like someone you love a lot.

Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong way to deal effectively with a bc diagnosis for the long haul. As long as you're making progress, then whatever you're doing is working and is right for you. Through sharing, we can learn a lot, while finding comfort and giving comfort. Sending warm hugs your way!

Love, light and laughter,
Ink