I'm tired and need to vent!!!

I was first diagnosed when I was 13 years old back in 1984. I was the second youngest person in the US to be diagnosed. I had surgery and they could tell I had probably had the cancer for 6 or 7 years because my thyroid felt apart when they tried to remove it as well as 3 lymph glands. I had a week or two of testing at Sloan-Kettering in NYC (talk about extensive, I had to carry my pee around in a brown bag!!) I had a very high dose of I131. A year later I was free. Ten years later, on my sons first birthday (I was told I may not be able to have children because of my age and severity) I was cancer free. In 1997, I had a reoccurrence, which my doctor at the time, told me I had cancer and never called me back. Finally I found the great doctor that I have now- I had another I131 treatment in 1998. A week after that treatment, I had the follow up body scan and found I still had cancer and micro-matast. in my lungs. The one good thing about I131 is it can work in your body for up to 6 months- so because of that my lungs are clear, but my thyroglobulin has been elevated for 6 years. Since, I've had another baby, who like her brother is very healthy. I just had my eigth body scan and another thyroid ultrasound. The scan was clear and the ultrasound showed a nodule. I'm going for another needle biopsy- we're hoping that is where the cancer cells are hiding because my doctor locally and one that I travel to are perplexed- and well so am I. I am scheduled to get the new PET scan that has been proven to work well with thyroid cancer. Let me tell you, Thyrogen is a God-send. I've used it twice! For 19 years I have been going through thyroid "stuff"- yes, I know this is the cancer to get because it is so slow growing. I'm just tired- of calling my parents with "news", worrying my husband, explaining to my children why I can't hold them when I get tests, of weight gain. I'm 32 years old and physically I feel 50. After I was diagnosed at 13, I have had numerous medical problems and a lot of illnesses. For two months I have been tired, forgetful and my hair is falling out (not like when I am off my meds, but noticeable)-I told my doctor, but my levels are fine- so now what?! For me, this has been a long road, especially the first four and the last six years. I am amazed at the changes that have come to thyroid patients over the last two decades. When I was first diagnosed the doctors didn't know what to do with me because I was so young. Well, now that I have had my little pity party I feel much better. I don't really talk about all this or my feelings. It's hard to tell people how scared and mad you are when you see them feeling scared for you. If anyone has read all this I'd be glad to hear from you. If you have any questions Id be more than happy to help!!! That's why we have this wonderful site! Reading what some of you have written has given me renewed strength. I always try to keep a good attitude and I thank God everyday for what I have- even when I get a thryglobulin level back and it has remained the same or only went up a little- it's amazing how life can put things into perspective for you!KL