New; Soon to start chemo. and scared

Hi PatiM, I just read your message and I understand how you feel. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer on Nov. 6, 2000. I was told that I would have to undergo chemotherapy. It literally scared me to death. My worst fear was that I would be stuck in the bathroom with my head over the toliet sick. I did stress about the hair loss issue.I could not imagine myself bald. You didn't say how old you were but I am 50 now, was 47 when diagnosed. You just need to be prepared for the hair loss. By that I mean go pick out a wig now before you lose you hair so you can get as near to you color as possible. Personally I liked the scarves and turbans best. The American Cancer Society has a program called "Look good, feel better". They teach you how to take care of your skin, apply makeup and give you ideas about tying your scarves etc. They also give you a gift pack with makeup, skin care products etc. Believe me, the initial fallout is the worst and you will be more comfortable with it in time. And keep in mind "It will come back". Mine came back with a vengance. Grows like crazy. Good luck to you. E-mail me if you want to. Love and Prayers. Rosie

Hi PatiM,
You're definately not being petty. I had chemo for breast cancer this past spring and summer and finished in September. I lost all my hair and it sucked. It was the hardest part of the whole treatment for me, but I did try to keep in mind that it is temporary! I strongly suggest you get a wig that is close to your short hairstyle, before you start chemo. They can match your color and texture and style very well and I guarantee that the only people who will know you're wearing a wig will be the people you've told. (I would recommend getting a synthetic one since they're much easier to take care of and look good with a lot less effort).
One thing that helped me was getting a short haircut before I started chemo (I had hair down to the middle of my back before and had had long hair for a long time). Having it short for a little while made it a little less traumatic. After my first chemo session, I had a bunch of my ice hockey friends over and for my 32nd birthday, they gave me a purple and teal mohawk. I figured it was the only time I would ever have a mohawk and it made my friends and me a lot more comfortable about the whole thing since we could joke about it. My friends all dyed their hair wild colors for that weekend.
My hair started to fall out after the second chemo session and I shaved it then. I wanted it to be gone by my hand instead of falling out from chemo. I think that helped too, as I've heard it's much worse to have it falling out in clumps.
While I was having chemo and for about 3 months after, I wore the wig to work and when my husband and I went out to dinner and stuff, but otherwise, wore bandanas or baseball caps since the wig was too hot in the summer. (Most of the people at work noticed my new haircut and complimented me on it). After mid-December, my hair was very short, but I got rid of the wig and now it's about 3-4 inches long.
I know several people who've been through this and they all agree that losing your hair is the worst part. Being bothered by it is totally normal and you should not feel guilty about it.
I don't know how old you are, but my oncologist told me before treatment started that most people over 40 would go through menopause, most people under 30 would not, and in between those ages, it could go either way. I was 32 and during treatment got some menopause symptoms (hot flashed, no periods, etc.). But, the symptoms went away after I finished treatment.
Try to keep in mind that your feelings are totally normal and your hair will grow back!
I wish you the best.

Here's a poem my husband wrote for me before I started chemo. Perhaps it will help.

What's Happening to Your Hair

You can lose your hair...
But you can't lose the love that's in your heart for others,
And you can't lose the love and respect of your brothers;
Nor the love of your family,
Nor the beauty that's inside you.
And you can't lose the faith that's always there to guide you.

You can lose your hair...
But not the care that you've given nor the feelings that you share.
And you can't lose the friends you've made almost everywhere.
Nor the hope that the future holds,
Nor the memories of the past.
And you can't lose the power to make each day better than the last.

You can lose your hair...
But you can't lose your will to go on in spite of things.
And you can't lose, no matter what, the hope that prayer brings;
Nor the choice to do what's right,
Nor the strength to face what's there.
There's so much that you can't lose despite what's happening to your hair!