Missing My Mom

Dear Gracelyn, I lost my dad a week ago to lung cancer and miss him so very much. He passed away 5 weeks after his diagnosis. He said he wasn't afraid of dying, but just sobbed over having to tell his kids goodbye. I am his youngest (46). My mother died when she was 52 (I was 24) of breast cancer. She had a couple of grandkids that were my sisters children. They were the lights of her life. She told me that she was sorry she wouldn't get to meet the man I married or be there for my children. She said, "Tell them I was a good grandma." I went on to marry a wonderful man and have three children, now teenagers. I had two boys and a girl. When my little girl came I was so happy to be part of a mother/daughter relationship again. I guess what I want to say to you is that you will find many opportunites to share your mother with your kids as they grow up. My daughter is 14 now and went to her first high school dance. I share things that my mother shared with me at that time.. it goes on. I also bought the neatest book that I am filling in for my daughter. It is called, "A mothers memories to her daughter." It has a section in it where I journal things that my mom and dad taught me or told me about various things. I'm sure they have something for sons too. Well sorry this is so long.. feel free to e'mail me. Enjoy your beautiful children and cherish your moms memories. The hurtful memories fade and the loving ones are forever in our hearts. God bless, Terri

Gracelyn, I am a breast cancer survivor myself, and I lost my mom 3 yrs ago. She was my best friend . I miss her everyday. She fought hard, but lost in the end. She taught me to never give up, laugh and enjoy life. It is hard, but remember all of the advise she gave you and share that with your children. She is never really gone. I believe that when we dream about them and that feeling that you have that they are there is so real is because they are there. I talk to my parents all of the time. They still make me laugh and give me support even though I cannot physically see them. The loss of your mother is always there, but some of the pain is eased by the memories and smiles that your children have, the one that looks just like hers. The ones that remind you of her. I think my mom is happier now than she was here. Know that she loves you and that that transends time. In your heart she is always. Remember the smells, the cute things that were said, and the experience and wisdom that she gave to you. Talk of her often with your children.This way she is real to your children, and there for you as well.

Gracelyn, I lost my Mom February 13th. I also cry when I look at my daughter. My Mother wanted a grandchild more than anything in the whole world. Mom was diagnosed the month of my daughters 1st birthday. I am now planning my daughters 2nd birthday party and my Mom is gone. It was not enough time. I am angry that she is not here. I feel like it was a big tease...here's what you can't have!!! I can also see my Mothers face when she was given the news. She didn't cry for herself or say why me. She looked at her Dr and said " But I have a new grandbaby. I want to see her go to kindergarten." I cried in the kitchen the other day because I wished I had a receipe of hers. Sometimes I cry when I'm eating because my Mother will never eat again and she loved food! It feels silly to admit that. If you find the secret to stoping the hurt, pass it along to me. Best of luck. I am here to talk if you would like.