My mom has Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer

prayerz Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I really need just plain old support. She is a fighter, but her Oncologist told us it is so aggressive. She is no longer on chemo or other treatment. She is in hospice now. He said her time is short. She fought this battle so hard and still is fighting. I just want to talk with other people who have gone through this with their mother. I am only 26 and dread losing my mother.



  • sassysally
    sassysally Member Posts: 150
    Hi prayerz, I have been in your shoes. Three years ago on May 7,2000 I had the last good bye ith my mom, my best friend. I was 38 then. Hospice is a wonderful thing. Pleas for as difficult as it is you and your family need to talk with your mom if that is possible. My mom lived by herself in a condo, I din't like it too much, but understood her need to have "alone" time to think, make peace or just cry. She was reluctant to use hospice... that title said dying to her. 2 weeks before she moved on, I had the unpleasant task of discussing with her a DNR (do not recessiate) bracelet. I felt like I was signing her death warrant. Explaining that if I were not there and something happened that they would have to do everything in there power to revive her. Knowing she did not want this as it would'nt help in the greater scheme of things, she agreed. Had gotten her a life line button for her house the last week of April 2002. One moring she called me at 6:30 a.m. She had falledn at 3:30 a.m. while going to the bathroom, and it took here 3 hrs to literally crawl across the floor to get to a phone. Thats when we got the button. Well, after frequent calls from the life line people, I told her we need to re assess where we were. We talked about obits, funerals, music, flowers...everything. It wasn't pleasant, but had to be done. On May 1, 2000 I moved my mother into house. Was dealing with the hospice people, so they could get me the things I needed. Bed, commode, morphine etc.. She went into a coma on May 5, and went home at 6:40 a.m. on Sunday May7,2000. I miss her terribly,everyday. I don't think I would change a thing. I took care of her because I could, because I loved her and figured she had always been there for me from the begining. Through the good, the bad and the ugly. Now it was my turn to remember the good, deal with the back, and make our ugly better. Love your mom, know that she loves you and will always. You have not disappointed her. She knows. Share laughter and tears, hugs and smiles. Help her as she has helped you. She is strong and so are you. This is not an easy path. I walk with you. You and you're mother are in my prayers.If you need anything, I am here...Always. I've been where you are. Take love and hope and prayers to God, he may not always give you the answer you want to hear, but he and he alone knows what you need.
  • inkblot
    inkblot Member Posts: 698 Member
    Hi Karen:

    Just wanted you to know that you are in my heart and thoughts.

    The reply you received from Sassy Sally is so tender and beautiful. Best advice I could imagine. Just being able to be there to love and care for your Mom is a blessing really. It's an opportunity to reminisce, laugh and cry together. Difficult but precious at the same time.

    Love, light and laughter,