Waiting for Surgery

vfmccoy · March 2003

I found this site from television and just wanted to connect with women who are going through the same thing as I am. So far the worst part has been telling family and friends. I hate the look on their faces like you're going to drop dead tomorrow. I am prepared to fight with everything within and I plan to win the battle. I am a Christian and my faith is helping me to keep my head up and have a positive attitude. I think waiting for the surgery and the pathology is the just awful, because you don't know what you're fighting. My biopsy showed both "in situ" and invasive stages 0,1,and 2. My lymph nodes aren't swollen but that's not 100%. Every ache or pain takes me to bone cancer or brain cancer. I can't really explain this to anyone else because they just don't understand.
Thanks for a place of understanding and support. My surgery is Monday 3/17, please keep me in you prayers

sassysally · March 2003

The waiting is the hardest part. I've been there 3 times. People don't mean to look at you like you are going to drop dead tomorrow, It is just the shock of it all, and not knowing what to say. What is there to say. They want to help, but at this point don't know how. When your results come back, talk to the surgeon, oncologist and ask questions. Do all that you can to fight this, most of all embrace the support of your family and friends, try to have a positive attitude, although I know right now that is difficult to do. You can ask why me and be mad, thats ok. Then you can ask why not me.... I am sure that you are a stong, faithful person who like myself didn't ask the why me question. You are strong, and you will get through this. Although I do have to say this isn't one of lifes more pleasurable experiences. Thats why the way that you perseive this disease is the way your friends and family will. I hope and pray that all goes well, and yes for as scared as you may be, know that we who have walked in your shoes, walk with you now. We are there to support and encourage, hold your hand or cry. Laugh at lifes little inicuities, talk, smile, and if only to tell you it will be ok, for you are a survivor. If you need to talk, email me at RSMITH2@new.rr.com. Know that you do not take this incredible journey lightly, and that you do not take it alone. Stay strong, fight hard, laugh always, for you are blessed...This is one lesson I know. :-) Sara

robinsmith · March 2003

Will keep you in my prayers, I am a 6 year breast cancer survivor. I was only 38 when diagnosed and had the same feeling you are having. Sounds like you have a positive attitude and that will help you so much. You can beat this rotten disease..........Hang in there!

bullfrog13 · March 2003

Dear vfmccoy
Going through, been through and some back again. You have come to the right place. The hardest part is by far telling you family I agree, but almost as hard is the waiting and the not knowing.
I really dont think people mean to look at you with those looks, but I honestly believe that it is because they just dont know what else to do. I have had friends that I have known all my life that would avoid me when they saw me at the grocery store, and those that I hardly knew that would fix my family dinner. EVeryone handles these things in thier own way. I have had to learn to understand that.
Find what ever it is that makes you feel good and do it. I found it comforting to read alot. I sugest amamzon.com and get yourselfs some books, they have some very infomative ones for sale, or try the library.
I also suggest that you keep a journal, advise that someone gave me that I did not take and wish now that I had!!!
Good luck and email me anytime, but in the mean time I will keep you in my prayers.
Jerilynfrog13@yahoo.com

sevey · March 2003

bullfrog13 said:
Dear vfmccoy
Going through, been through and some back again. You have come to the right place. The hardest part is by far telling you family I agree, but almost as hard is the waiting and the not knowing.
I really dont think people mean to look at you with those looks, but I honestly believe that it is because they just dont know what else to do. I have had friends that I have known all my life that would avoid me when they saw me at the grocery store, and those that I hardly knew that would fix my family dinner. EVeryone handles these things in thier own way. I have had to learn to understand that.
Find what ever it is that makes you feel good and do it. I found it comforting to read alot. I sugest amamzon.com and get yourselfs some books, they have some very infomative ones for sale, or try the library.
I also suggest that you keep a journal, advise that someone gave me that I did not take and wish now that I had!!!
Good luck and email me anytime, but in the mean time I will keep you in my prayers.
Jerilynfrog13@yahoo.com

Hello There,
I am also a Christian and I have a lot less parts today since 1989...... I always knew and believed in Jesus, but never really counted on Him when I should have so many years ago. Today ofcourse it is completely different as my Faith in Our Lord has grown, and I sleep better at nights after spending time with Him.... The waiting is the wosrt part, but some of it has to do with the fact that while Earthbound we are still only human..... One of the other responses I liked was about the "Why me?"..... To put it bluntly why not me. There are so many of us who care deeply for those such as yourself that reach out on this board, and I'm one of them..... I will say this for the other members who are on this site.... They are firm believers in the Lord, and with Him all things are possible.. I say this because I am a Miricle and I do most of everything to Glorify Him. Reach out and realise that the Lord is the Ultimate Healer and His Love is the Purest Love of all. He created us and all He wants from us is to follow Him.... To believe that He is the King of Kings >> Lord of Lords... I believe with all my heart & soul that He allows us to go through such times not to hurt us at all. It is more of a deeper and powerfull Message that He is asking of us. That we Glorify Him and live out our lives Glorifying His Name in our actions..... It is hard, but Jesus died on the Cross for all of us.... That is how much the Lord Loves...... I hope you understand that we will be praying for you, and I hope that you keep us posted.... Did'nt catch your name, but don't worry about the way others look at you... You may be mistaken....Who Knows?? I felt like that the first time I got sick, and now I am gratefull for every new day that comes.... Don't go so hard on yourself, Let Go And Let God.... I am listed as sevey on this site, and I hope this helps you a little... I will as well as others be praying for you OK

May God Bless You
Love Cathy

minnie112256 · March 2003

Hi I know exactly how you feel about the aches and pains. Everytime something hurts I think it is Cancer. I just finished 4 chemo treatments and my doctor says My prognosis is good. She feels all the cancer is gone but I still worry all the time. I am not sure if the feeling ever goes away. Good luck with your surgery and be assured that you are in my prayers.:)

sandytrif525 · March 2003

Hello. I am there with you. The waiting is the hardest part. The day I got the results of my surgical biospy, I was going to the movies to see Pearl Harbor with my girls. We almost made it out the door and the phone rang. Now everytime I have a test I wait again. I told them to only call with good news before 4 bad news after 4 so that I am not alone. I am a Christian as well. He has been my source of strength through out it all. He has shown me that each day is a gift to cherish. I have 4 children, 19,17,14,&12. I was diagnosed in June of 2001 with stage 3 invasive lobular bc. all my lymph nodes were clear. I had mastectomy with tram flap last Feb. Did chemo before surgery to shrink tumor. What type of surgery are you having? We will be praying for you on the 17th. A big day for you and our nation. May the Lord be with you and with your family and doctors to guide them and direct them for the best possible treatment. Keep the faith and your head up. It is a long road, but a road you can travel. God Bless you sandy

rena44 · March 2003

I wanted to share a little with you because we have all been there, and the anticipation is the worst. I was diagnosed with bc almost five years ago. I can't believe it has been that long. I had stage 4 metastatic bc. I guess I shouldn't be here right now, but the Lord had other plans for me and my family. Most of my lymph nodes were affected and I had six months of chemo. I have had aredia to strengthen my bones every month since and three months ago, I had a reoccurence of five lesions on my skull and five on my liver. I just found out on Monday that after three months on my new chemo, my lesions are all gone!!!I think the dr. was shocked, but hey, I will take it. I remember crying by myself and talking to God before my surgery, and I actually heard a voice and He said "You will be alright. I will protect you". And He did. I felt what was like a warm soft blanket go over my shoulders and I held on to that feeling. I remember it like it was yesterday. I will be praying for you. Good or bad news...you can handle it. I did.

banker · March 2003

Hello, I too will be thinking and praying for you on the 17th. YOU are not alone. All of us here are survivors and you will be too. Concentrate and focus what lies ahead , maybe rough going for a little while but , trust your doctors and believe in God and you will get thru this difficult time. I am a 2x survivor, had mastectomy,6 mo chemo, reconstruction, lumpectomy, radiation and chemo again, I am here and feel blessed. You too can make it. Best wishes for your recovery and God bless you. ((hugs)) emmi

kamehameha6470 · March 2003

I'll be thinking of you on Monday and hoping for the best. I was in the same place in January 2002. Did the 4 rounds of chemo that I'd already had work? Will they find cancer all over my body? But I've worked hard to keep my faith in God, and to keep my sense of humor and positive attitude. It's still difficult to not worry about every ache, pain, and bouts of fatigue. It's hard not to wonder some days whether or not I'll see my kids graduate. But I pray everyday to make it through and find that positive spark that has helped me be a survivor.

Don't worry about the reactions of others. Sometimes you just don't know what to say. Let others know if you just need a hug or a shoulder to shed a few tears. Most people are looking to you to tell them what you need most. Let others help around the house or cook your meals or hold your hand--there's no shame in accepting the kindness of others. God bless you, and give you strength to fight, fight, fight.

Aloha,
Sonja

joanna930 · March 2003

Hi Vfmccoy,

I hope you don't mind my suggesting you read a reply I just typed out for "Mosis50"... but I didn't see your message until after I saw and made a reply to her......... please read it, as I would give you the same advice I had given her... and as we are both Christians... I know you will understand and appreciate my comments to her. I would write the whole thing over again, but it's 2:00 a.m., and I have to get up for work in the morning. I pray you read it.

God Bless You,
Joanna930

newbeginning · March 2003

Hi..the waiting is terrible but you are close now so enjoy this weekend!!! Lots of prayers and positive thoughts will come your way on Monday...Monday is my last chemo...and then radiation..so when I'm sitten in that chair I'll think of you!!! Keep smiling !!!

bunnie · March 2003

Hi.I just had a mastecomy in jan and know iam going through chemo.At times i have wanted to give up but thanks too the support of my Husband and other family members and also frieds iam hanigin in there.There are days that are rough but in the end I will beable to say i beat this thing just like your going to bable too say it in a few months.I wish you the best of luck on your surgery and your recovery and know that we are all praying for you.

eym929 · March 2003

Hi. I also am a new person on this site. Also saw it on tv, heard from others also who used it and like it alot. There is most definitely a soothing effect upon knowing that you are not alone, and that there are others who are going through or have gone through the same thing. I recently had my surgery on the 17th of feb. I had a masectomy and reconstructive surgery at the same time. It has been hard, but I know that I will be fine. At first I also found it hard to tell people. However, since in the beginning I felt that I was dreaming, that I would wake up and find out that it was all a nightmare, i used this opportunity as therapy for myself to realize that yes it is happening to me and the more people I told the more real it became. Surround yourself with people who love you and those people will give you strength, those who love you will give you the empathy, and love you need. Good luck, I will have you in my prayers on the day of your surgery, you will be fine. God bless, feel free to email me anytime. eym929@hotmail.com

Waiting for Surgery

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