Daddy's little girl

missish
missish Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
I'm 27 years old. My father has had bone cancer for several years. started in the back and has moved to various parts of the body (hips, etc.). He was always a very active man and now is confined mostly to the bed. He only goes out when it's some reason to see me or the doctor. I just am NOT dealing with this very well. I don't know if I'm getting the whole story from my parents (something tells me I'm not). But I'm almost afraid to know. He's the best man in the world and it's just killing me to see him this way. He's been through more in life than anyone can possible imagine. I need someone who has been through this--someone who understands what it's like to have this happen. Please, if you have any words of advise, I'm open to all I can get.
Thank you.

Comments

  • Jennifer22
    Jennifer22 Member Posts: 2
    #2
    I sort of know what your going through. My dad died from cancer 8 years ago. I didn't find out that he was sick until 5 hours before he died. I had the worst time dealing with his death. Still cry. My best advice for you is to spend every minute you can with him..tell him a million times how much you love him.
  • bygrace
    bygrace Member Posts: 25
    #3
    My heart is hurting for you and with you. I was 23 when my mom died from lung cancer. I had just graduated from college and was going thru a difficult time...That was 23 years ago. Now I am going thru the same thing with my dad... I am 46 and have 3 teenagers and a wonderful husband, so that helps. Families are precious. I know that at the time I went thru my moms death... I was really hurting. But now I look back at those days and see how lucky I was to have those days where I just sat by her side. With my father I tell him that I love him, how proud I am of his courage and that I know he is going to a better place. I do believe in God and that I will see my mother and father again. I think its important to let your parents know that you wish to be kept informed and want to support them. I know I cried when my dad and I got the news at the hospital... He hated seeing my tears.. I told him that its okay to feel sad and that I would be fine but it's important to release feelings. I think one of the best gifts we can give dying people is the willingness to let them discuss their fears. God bless you. You are obviously a caring and loving daughter. Enjoy the blessings of each day, because each day still has blessings to give. Terri
  • SandySant
    SandySant Member Posts: 4
    #4
    I know where your coming from, I'm 22 and my mom was recently diagnosed with a high grade Asterocytoma (brain tumor.) We are also very close because we're all eachother has. My dad died when I was a small child and my only brother is a useless drug addict.
    My mom was also very active and independent, she was always as strong as an ox. The day she was diagnosed with cancer was her first time EVER in a hospital bed aside from giving birth.
    I feel everything you feel and I know how bad it sucks.
    At the moment, I don't think I can offer you very useful advice because I still haven't sorted through it myself... but I promise that if I figure out a way to make this hurt less, I will be more than happy to share it with you =)
    In the meantime, I'm happy to be an ear (or eye;) to listen if you need it (ScorpFem21@aol.com)
    For now, I guess we must both pray for the best.
  • dusa
    dusa Member Posts: 2
    #5
    I can relate to what you are going through. I recently lost my mother to ovarian cancer. She had been fighting the battle for over twenty years off and on and it is the hardest thing in the world to watch. Towards the end my mother was also such a different person. She too was confined to bed and barely conscious half the time.
    My advice to you is to value all the time you have with your dad. Talk to him..tell him how much he means you...tell him things that you need to say....so that later on you won't feel any regrets....don't hold back...grab a hold of each day and don't worry about what the future holds...I know it's hard and trust me it will get harder...but be strong....also...find someone to talk to....u need your own support system right now...that is soooo important...
    Again, the main thing is to spend time with your dad....good luck!!!
  • tiffany1016
    tiffany1016 Member Posts: 2
    #6
    My father was diagn. with bone cancer my freshman year of college (1985) also started in his back- moved to his hips and also his temple region of the skull. He lived 15 years with this disease- He passed away July 4th 2000. My story is very similar to yours- he was very active too. I do want to tell you that he was treated at mayo clinic and was put in remission twice. Has your father had chemo? radiation? Where? I have heard that there are more sophisticated drugs now for the treatment and the longevity is greater. I can tell you that i was told that they do not die from the cancer but from complications of it- my father died from kidney failure not the cancer. please feel free to email me - I hope I can be of some help-
  • ZELLARS
    ZELLARS Member Posts: 34
    #7
    wow i am brand new to this site and your story caught my eye by its title.i am also very much a daddys girl,he has stomach cancer or in my mind its gone. three years ago they removed part of his stomach and said it was not in lymphnodes. my dad is so young and active and he still eats normal!every 6 months is a reminder because of the scans.he has had around 5 and all have been clear.his past scan showed what the dr called subtle changes(by the way i am 29)he said not to be alarmed because it could just be scar tissue.he is to have a biopsy week after next and i am literally nauseated with stress. i put up such a front for him but inside i am beyond upset. i know it sounds morbid or weird but at random times in my life i have often thought about how there would be no way to live without either of my parents.i cant stop the tears! i will pray for your father it sounds like he is alot like my dad and could fool anyone because he doesnt want you to hurt.you are not alone--i dont think i should post a bad word on here BUT BOY DO I FEEL LIKE IT!!! the word cancer just makes me cringe!! i hate it and just wish like crazy there was a majic medicine to truly wipe it away.

Discussion Boards