I'm losing it!

Dearnjmjmom;
Gosh and golly what a story. Can't think of anything nice to say about that jerk you were married to, but perhaps you are better off without him. Character screams louder than words and a man that would walk out on you when you are going through chemo doesn't have much good character in my book. I have been there. Not exactly like that, but I too was going through a divorce when my cancer was discovered. And I am so much better off without the ****! Now two years later and I am off chemo and so much happier with my life. Just hang in...one day at a time...sometimes one hour at a time.
Reach out to women friends and all who would offer any kind of help. Sometimes people need to be asked to help you. I found that time I asked friends to drive me to treatments, etc. was some of the best time we spent together in a long time. We get so busy, sometimes we don't take time. So, my illness was a way for many of my friends and I to get to spend some quality time together. Also....do what you want to do--every day. No more doing what you think someone else wants you to do. Time is of the essence and you have to be true to yourself.
You still are a mother of 2 boys and nothing will ever change that.
Also--I let go of my big house. I let him have it and pay me my equity. I struggled with it a long time, but now I am so certain it was the very best thing to happen to me. When I was so sick I did not want to take care of that big house anymore. Now, I am just glad I don't have to pay the taxes on it! Really it is a huge relief.
You have to spend your energy on YOU and getting WELL. There will be other houses if you LIVE! First things first.
Take care and get an attitude!
Get lots of hugs,
Mary

Hello njmmom,
Know that you have power and the only way you lose it is if you give it away. Find legal representation to advise you properly. You can find them sometimes through referrals at your wellness center, place of worship, word of mouth. There are choices and some do pro-bono work or sliding scale.
The most important person right now is you and doing things that empower you should be at the top of your list. I have recently started yoga (you can even get the video tapes from the library if necessary). My wellness center has a wonderful person teaching it (also a massage therapist that has gone through BC). Today I did a more advanced class and only do what I can do. The results are amazing. I am releasing tension and restrictions from all over and finding I have more clarity and peace around me. I go for surgery this Thursday, so being centered and strong is very important personally. You can do it. The kids can do it with you. You won't be green forever on Chemo. Use this time to read through the yoga positions and when you feel better you can start with the breathing and progress. My heart is with you. You can do this. Find new friends, create a support circle. We are all here for you. Good luck and hugs,
Iris

Fight the **** all the way. I assume you live in US. Here in New Zealand he would not stand a hope of getting more than 1/12 of the value of the house.Let him fight for it in open court & tell the world what a greedy selfish jerk he is. I am sure all your girl friends & family will help out with emotional support as we will. It's amazing how some people can fool some people all the time. As for your son who has gone with him he will wake when the scales drop from his eyes & he sees his step father as he realy is. JUst keep on loving him. God will take you under his wing & you will find the reason for this trial that has come your way. He would not have let it happen if you could not take something out of it.

Love & hugs to you.

Pam