Someone please help me,give me some peace

towanda
towanda Member Posts: 19
edited March 2014 in Lung Cancer #1
Hello. I have not been diagnosed yet because they had to send my biopsy results to the University of Mich for further consultation. I am 27 years old and they think I have sclc. I am devastated and angry. I want to live. I have a two year old girl that I love dearly and a lot of years ahead of me. I was a smoker. There has got to be someone who can give me some encouragement. Can't sleep or eat or laugh. In shock, I have no insurance. They found1/2 cm primary nodule with left hilar adenopothy. They did a ct scan and the thoracic surgeon told me that the tumor is fair sized? Thoughts of suicide because I don't want to put my family through this pain and I'm scared. Starting to feel distant with my daughter because I'm afraid to get too close. I want to fight this but I need someone who has had this to tell me what to expect and how to be more motivated. Need to learn to get on with life. Thank you for listening and God Bless us all.

Comments

  • grammy
    grammy Member Posts: 20
    #2
    My heart is breaking for you, I know how scarey this must be for you. Please try to be positive as you have not ben diagnosed yet. You must also remember that many new things are being done and treatments are not as severe as they were a few years back. You cannot be turned down for treatment. You may be a canidate for lung resection. Tumor size can be reduced before resection and chemo given to hit any stray cells. It depends on type but please do not give up and just love that baby all you can she will be a great help to you. I have been through it all and just had a brain tumor mets removed without trouble. I was diagnosed 5-12-2000 with NSCLC. I was unlucky and had lymphnode envolvement found when right lower lobe was removed. The pain is more emotional than physical. Try and get some medication, anti anxiety or antidepresent. Grammy
  • imagemkr
    imagemkr Member Posts: 34
    #3
    Dear Towanda:
    hilar adenopothy, I am not sure what that means, other than maybe, location, and it looks like cancer. I was diagnosed with small cell November 11th 2000.
    I am going to try to help you. Someone scared you. 1st, 1/2 centemeter is little,unless you a have a needle biopsy, you do not know what kind of cancer that it is or if it is cancer, so relax alittle. you found it quick enough it probably is curable. So keep kissing that baby girl. the treatments are no fun but they did not hand you a death sentence. There is only one that determines life and death, not a docter.
    Go to the county and file for medicaid for your health insurance, they also will help with rent teeth and things like that, but first of all get registered with social security today, do not delay. Get registered with anerican cancer society, they can help you with rent imformation, do not get statistics, they just scare the hell out of you and they are based on a curve of 70 year olds. Find out what local cancer support group there is. I hope that I helped. Please keep this in mind these medical people have a limited terms that they use and they all sound fatal, they are not. Get the biopsy first and then fight like hell.
    Terri tdreamflyer@cs.com
  • pdtycz
    pdtycz Member Posts: 9
    #4
    BEEN THERE, DONE THAT....
    Towanda -

    I'm here to tell you there is LIFE after diagnosis, and even after treatment. After finding a tumor in a casual observation my doctor, the radiology technician, and a thoracic surgeon were convinced it was a benign growth that should be removed. Prior to the surgery a needle biopsy was performed, just to be sure. Results: Diagnosed with SCLC on September 9, 1987. Yes, 1987. I was 45 at the time.

    I was confused, and honestly a little scared, but mostly confident that I was going to win this battle. While I didn't entertain thoughts of suicide, my wife did. As we sat in the car just before going in for my first chemo treatment she cried and talked of a suicide pact. Luckily I was able to convince her there could still be happy days for us. Look at me now. Fourteen plus years out of diagnosis and still kicking and growing older but remembering "Any day above ground is a great day.

    Today I am an active volunteer for the American Cancer Society, faciliating a Dialogue Support Group twice a month and visiting one-on-one with mewly diagnosed cancer patients. I truly understand the fear, frustration, shock, and uncertainty you're faced with. For now I'll just ask that you don't give up. You say you are waiting for the results of a biopsy. That's an anxiety builder for sure, but try thinking positive that it is a benign growth, and deal with result when you know it. If it is a cancer diagnosis think about how you will walk the path to a cure, who will be there to help you, who will be praying for you. Find a local support group through the American Cancer Society, your church, or local organizations. Being with others that are walking the same path, or even relaxing after finishing their walk can be a great morale booster. Not only for you but for your family and friends as well.

    It is late and I could go on and on. Please feel free to email me if you would like to vent a little more. In the mean time I'll ad you to my prayer list.

    Phil Tycz
    Plano, TX
  • tienclee
    tienclee Member Posts: 2
    #5
    Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, please don't give up! I know of a woman who was much older than you and had Stage IV lung cancer (the doctors gave her about a 1% chance of living), more than 12 years later, she is still alive and cancer free! Her son is a doctor, he studied under two people who won the Nobel Prize for Medicine. He gave her many vegetables with anticancer properties to eat along with the traditional radiation treatments. The remedy is now available in the form of a soup - you can order it from Sun Farm Corporation at 203-777-6639. Tell Dr.Sun, the doctor who made this soup, your situation, perhaps he can help with the price or give you suggestions on how to raise the money. If the soup becomes approved by the FDA (Food and Drug Administration), it will probably become much cheaper and perhaps covered under Medicaid.If you need more information, you can e-mail me directly at tienclee@aol.com.
    Tien
  • jo anne
    jo anne Member Posts: 8
    #6
    towanda....you must be strong...and I know you must hate those words. I got sick of hearing them all the time. If I wasn't strong all the time I felt as if there was something wrong with me..like what right do I have to be angry and scared.
    That was 3 years ago when I was diagnosed with lung cancer. We must find the peace
    within ourselves. I still feel angry
    sometimes that I got it. I am still looking for that peace..infact people who have never had cancer are looking for that peace. Trust me towanda, we who have gone through this stuff we all feel the same. Relationships weaken for a while...we cry alot..and cuss too. God Bless Jo anne
  • betty2
    betty2 Member Posts: 91
    #7
    Hi Towanda, this is betty2. I have had lung cancer in both lungs. The first time was in 1987 and the second time was in 1991. the first was in the left lung and they removed 1/2 of it and the second time it was in my right , and they removed 1/4 of it. I didn't have to have chemo. I am a surviver, and if yours hasn't spread anywhere else you can be to. I too was a smoker for way to many years, but the surgeon said mine was not caused from smokeing it was envirmental, and I just found outMonday from my new pulmanary Dr. that mine was the kind that usually starts in the colon. Anyway do not be distant with your little girl give her lots of attention because children sense when something is wrong. Do you have family? They will be a great comfort to you. Do not let any Dr. tell you how long you are gonna live because they do not know.
    I know that the initial shock of just hearing the big c word is terrifying, been there and done that. I have tried to keep a sense of humor, and I know that right not you are not finding too much to laugh about,
    but read funny stories watch comedy movies. I read all I could get my hands on about lung cancer.(I'm just the kind that needs to know, maybe you are not) Right now will be the worst time for you, just not knowing what is gonna happen, is worse than the surgery. I would love to hear from you. my email address is jodnns@aol.com
  • irpete
    irpete Member Posts: 1
    #8
    I know it is hard but THINK POSITIVE.
    You used the words God Bless, so do that and
    turn it all over to Jesus. That is what I had to do because He can handle this and I can't. Think about the effects you have on that little girl and don't do anything stupid. If you are not active in a church please find one you like and let them in on what's happening in your life. Use them, that is what chirstians are suppose to do.
    Take care and keep looking up!
  • june19521
    june19521 Member Posts: 8
    #9
    Please email me at junebugin2000@netscape.net. I have small cell lung cancer as well. I think I can help you over some of your fears.
  • velvetelvis
    velvetelvis Member Posts: 1
    #10
    Hi,
    Jeannine here. Responding to your message. If you feel suicidal, remember that your 2 year old will never understand why you would leave her before you had to, you're young so you'll have a better chance of survival, & life is a gift. You don't know what the future may bring. Just bc the tumor is big doesn't mean it will kill you...alan Landers survived 14 years so far. Ask as many of your family & friends as you can to come and spend time with you at home, at your house, so that your daughter gets the attention she needs...if you just need a friend, email me at: velvet_elvis9@hotmail.com

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