Post Treatment Adjustments

Returning to "normal" wasn't something I could do, although I've returned to my routine life. Somehow I tried to figure out the emotional impact of the disease on me, but really you just have to experience it.

You might take this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Try doing some new things--not necessarily important things, but, take up an exercise, or yoga, or start playing with clay, or painting, or whatever. And, yes, give yourself time. In time you will recognize yourself, and at the same time see where you have changed.

Carol

kahleel said:

Yes, I guess I feel a pressure about filling those holes you describe. I feel I should make best use of my time, do all the right things for myself, appreciate everything and at the same time not feel I "should" anything. I am constantly reviewing everything I say and do, it seems. I THINK I'm doing it right, but I don't yet feel too comfortable with me. What have you done to "feel strong and healthy?"

The pressure seems to come more from other people who want me to return to their version of what normal me is. The problem is that she doesn't exist anymore. Maybe this is part superstition, but I believe that our body, mind and soul all affect one another, and that the old, normal me at least in part got cancer because of stress, bad habits, etc. I really don't want to go back to that version of normal ever again, because I don't want to go through this ever again if I can avoid it.

The number one thing that I have tried to do, and it is still very hard...I try to listen to my gut. Not my head, because I can rationalize things to death...but my gut. If something doesn't feel right about it than I don't do it.

I have been learning to say no to a lot of things which reduces my stress and gives me more time to fill up with the things I love. Sometimes that just means doing NOTHING! Doing more of the things I love or even just want to try makes me happier and better able to handle all of the other things in my life. (Of course I try to eat right, and do some form of exercise each day even if it's only to walk the dog. But those are my "shoulds")

Everyone's things they might do to feel good would be different. I say think less and trust that inner instinct. Sky's the limit, what do you WANT to do?

Dear kahlee,
I have been in remission from lung cancer for 2 years now. I too am a field of emotions. I think "normal" is not a word that applies to those who have had cancer. We have fought a long battle...and it leaves some of us just emotionally strained. Perhaps there are those who make it through better, perhaps not. I do not know how to control the emotions, so I don't. I cry when I need to cry, get angry when I need to unload that. I know I am different now..I might not like some of me but I do love all of me and that is why I allow me my emotions. I am also aware others may not get it and consider me well..and I am..but I am not the same. I am not ashamed of that. We just have to continue to do the best we can.

Kahleel,

My family tells me I am not "normal" yet - three months after post-surgiclal treatments have ended. I am starting group sessions with the Wellness Community to help me adjust. I found a book at Amazon.com which I have found helpful - "After Cancer - A Guide to Your New Life' by Wendy Schlessel Harpham. M.D. This doctor is a cancer survivor who writes about post-cancer life in a very readable question and answer format. You may want to try it.

Good luck.

Tom

nutt said:

All of your comments helped yet, still only 60 days after seed implant and still on hormone therapy I feel I am a basket case emotionally and it is very difficult coping with life, job, and the human desire of family to put it out of their minds.
I think I have tried to hard to understand my families desire to put it into the past as a means of " out of discussion, out of sight". Hopefully, the depression, highs, lows and mood swings will subside as it is a tremondous amount of pressure coupled with everything else that has gone wrong this last year.
thanks for your inputs.

It is *very* difficult to deal with, especially at first. It's such a shame that it seems no one in your family can help you with this. It helps so much to have people to talk with, especially people who've shared at least part of your experience. If you haven't already done so, try to find a group in your area, of other cancer survivors. Gilda's Club, ACS, your local hospital...I hope there's somewhere you can find the space to deal with it.
Hang in there.
Carol