update..........not good

Blondie, you will not have a good future if you keep up this 'poor me' attitude. There are many of us on here that are alot worse off than you are, but we just keep on plugging away at it, because death is not an alternative. Stop being a martyr and start taking control over what is going on in your life. I wish I were with you, I would give you a good swift kick in the arse..
I know it is hard, we all know it is hard, but we are all fighting together in this and we will all win in this together.
as they say"piss or get off the pot" Well my dear, buck up and start living again.
Any time that we have on this earth is precious and we need to make the most of it.
I really wish you would have let that man in your life, having somebody to love and love you back despite all odds is wonderful, but you will never have that if you keep pushing people away and thinking that you are worthless. You are a strong, beautiful, vital woman, you have to realize that in order to go on. We are all here to help you through this, and you in turn will help us.
Plant some flowers and tend to them everyday, and watch them blossom as you blossom into good health again, both mental and physical. There are so many new drugs out there, believe me, I was diagnosed 17 months ago with stage IV breast mets to the liver, and have been doing chemo since. My liver tumours are growing wildly again, and starting tomorrow I am going on my third kind of chemo. It a long journey, but I believe wholeheartedly that I will get through this and be stronger for it. Come on girl, get up and fight.
Put your trust in God and your Drs, and lean on us in your time of need, we are always here.
You go Girl!!

Hugs from Tiger

Blondie,
Our hearts are with yours, feeling your pain. Once again I find myself wishing we could be near by for you. We are so glad that you have found this site agian, there is plenty of strength and courage present in the women who hang here.
Tiger has a very good point. I have learned to find the simplist of pleasure in pulling dandelions and weeds in my garden. There is no greater gift from God than the beauty around us. "WHERE THERE IS A GARDEN THERE IS HOPE."
I found something early on in my fight that helped me think alittle clearer about things and that was the WHAT CANCER CANNOT DO saying that can be found in the gallery area of this site. I urge you to copy it and put it on your fridge so that you can see it a read it daily. I found it helpful for my spirit.
Feel the love of others around you for this is truly part of our healing process.
Be kind to yourself,
24242Tara

Blondie - I agree wholehartedly with what Tiger & all the others have said. How dare you just give up like that. You were given a life to live it to the full. If you think yourself dead you soon will be. I have metastized stage 4 cancer to lungs & nearly all of my spine, ribs, breast bone & pelvis & there is no way I am giving up the fight. I will fight this beast until my last breath and you should too. There are so many new treatments coming on line now that all we need to do is fight it into a corner & the cure will be there waiting for us all. There is a new one just been given FDA approval called Glivac & it is the breakthrough I have been waiting for. Believe me I am going to be first in line begging to be a trial subject when it comes up for approval here in New Zealand. So DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE. As for Peep. I bet if you contacted hime when you have got yourself back on track that he will gladly take up where you threw him out of your life. I am sorry to be so blunt but I don't think I have ever come across anyone with so little courage & such low self esteem. Every one of us is worthwhile & you just need to tell yourself this. Peep obviously thinks you are. Don't be a fool & throw away your life without giving it your best shot.

GOD BLESS YOU. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.
STAY POSITIVE AND MAKE EACH DAY COUNT FOR
YOUR FAMILY. MIRACLES HAPPEN EVERY DAY.