My mom was just diagnosed with 4th stage of breast cancer

Hi!! My name is Wendy and I am 41 and a Mom of 4. I am sure that you are very scared. I know I would be. This is a very uncertain time for all of you and until you get all the tests back you won't know exactly what you are fighting. To be sure the road will be a long and difficult one. Just from reading through some of the earlier messages on this site, I know that Stage 4 isn't the best, but there are ladies out there who have survived. Your (and your Mom's) attitude is important, try your best to be positive. I know it will be difficult. Most of all, love your Mom every day and let her know that you love her. Hugs are good, too!! I have 4 children--3 girls and a boy. The girls are 18-1/2, 15, and 6 months. My son is 12. How old are you? I know that I haven't given you the information you wish for, but I am sure that there are other ladies out there who will help you with that. I can only offer you my love and prayers in support. Please let me know what you find out and how things are going. (By the way, it is also o.k. to cry if you feel like it.) I will be thinking of you and your Mom and keeping you in my prayers. Wendy in California

Hello Pam here. Try not to get too hung up on stages. I am somewhere between 3b & 4 but my oncologist said that is just a category & has no bearing on the outcome or treatment. He treats a person & not a stage. As Tiger said stage 1 can be fatal if you let it be. I have metastases everywhere in my bones but as Tiger says no one tells me when I die. Only God & I decide that. Hang on in there & do some searches on the information pages. Just remember that for a 40% survival rate of stage 4 quite a few people have to have made it a lot longer than that to give that statistic & I am just determined to be one of the upper range of statistics. Will pray for you & your mom. Love Pam

tiger said:

HI there. Tiger here. I am 32 years old and have stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in the liver. Now my first onco told me I had one year at the best, that was over 14 months ago and the tumours on my liver are now almost invisible. I do not believe in statistics, and Drs are not God, they cannot and should not give a person a prognosis. Obviously the dr did not know me personally, or he would have said I will live to be 100. I am strong willed and stubborn. A positive attitude, and strong mind will get you through almost anything. If they suggest chemo, go for it, it may be rough the first course, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, just keep reaching towards it and it will be yours. For me "stages" do not mean much, I have known people in "stage 1" who had excellent prognosis, but they let the fear eat away at their mind, and gave up and lost the fight. A strong mind promotes a strong body, and with that we can win any battle. fight the good fight, and keep us posted.
Hugs from Tiger

Hi I am new to the group. My mom has been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer last november. I was so inspired by your message. YOU are absolutely right. Myu mom has had her share or bad luck. My father who was encouraging her passed away in January. I am leaving to India in couple weeks to be there for her. It is all in the attitude and faith in god. Thanks for the message