Do you tell people?

kathewa
kathewa Member Posts: 1 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1

I’ve never been one to share a lot about my personal life with friends or family. I’m the one that asks questions and get others to talk about themselves. I have only known for a week that I have stage 3 colon cancer. I’ve told my husband, my mother, my mother-in-law, and a good friend. I’m guessing that at some point I will need to tell my boss. Is this something that I should be telling people or will people treat me differently try and I shouldn’t tell people? I’m conflicted about what to share. Any experiences or stories from your life that was successful or lesson learned?

Comments

  • spikecjc
    spikecjc Member Posts: 5 Member
    #2

    Hi. I am 2.5 years into treatment and surgery(s). I had chemo and radiation and LAR with a loop ileostomy (temp) and then the ileostomy reversal. I was VERY open about my journey with everyone. I worked full-time through chemo and radiation and then took off for surgery(s). I was not the normal patient in that I did not have any severe side effects from chemo or radiation and was only nauseous after chemo. I scheduled chemo for Fridays and had the weekend to recover to go to work on Monday. I actually have a little video blog on YouTube with monthly updates that I used to communicate with everyone. I did not feel like anyone treated me any differently (other than a lot of sympathetic concerns). It actually made it easier for me to communicate with everyone I know because I didn't have to hide anything from anyone and worry about who I told what. I also used it as an educational forum to scold people that have not had a colonoscopy. I don't think any of my personal relationships suffered from being open about the experience. Stay active and healthy right up until the day of surgery and get back into it as soon as the docs let you.

    https://www.youtube.com/@curtjcarlson2023/videos

    They won't let me post direct links but if you copy and paste the address above you should get to my blog. If you follow me on YouTube you will get updates when I post new videos. Thanks and good luck with everything. It will not be easy. Feel free to reach out anytime.

    PS - Attitude is everything - Stay Positive!

  • Arx001
    Arx001 Member Posts: 36 Member
    #3

    Hi,

    I’m a pretty private person so I shared it only with the people closest to me plus some kind relatives who offered me guidance. Whomever I shared with, I asked them to keep it private. I was open with my older children but the younger ones only knew that I was sick. I didn’t inform very old or fragile relatives.

    It’s unlikely you’ll face any malbehavior but remember that you are most likely be given platinum based drugs and therefore expect to lose at least some hair. You will also be likely be given a Folfox regime (perhaps after the radiochemo) and that would mean wearing an infusion attached to the chemo port.

    No one will (and should) judge you for keeping this a secret for some time or forever. The same applies if you openly share your journey on social media, something I deeply appreciate but would not do myself.. So it’s up to you.

    Good luck and best wishes.

  • bangle
    bangle Member Posts: 21 Member
    #4

    I was very open as well. My journey started in April of 2023. I have sense had surgery, 12 sessions of chemo, and recently had my port removed. There are more people out there than you think that have had a family member or a friend that has been through this. It is one of the reasons I reached out to this forum as well. There are many who lost loved ones from colon cancer, I needed to find some that had survived. Be prepared for that as well. Good luck on your journey.

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