Don't see the point

Adice
Adice Member Posts: 27 Member
edited June 27 in Prostate Cancer #1

Stage 4 PC.Starting Chemo. Told I will be on Testosterone inhibition for the rest of my life.No sex,no passion,no energy,no muscle mass just a blob. I am 73 but was hoping for another relationship before I die but would not put this on anyone else. Not sure I see the point in living liked this. All that I am will be gone . Just a mass waiting for a met to kill me. The person I am will already be dead

Comments

  • Clevelandguy
    Clevelandguy Member Posts: 1,148 Member
    edited June 25 #2

    Hi,

    Sorry to hear about your fate. It it was me I would go for a second opinion with a different doctor/ hospital network. I would be in for just about any experimental trial or medications. I have included links for you to study.

    https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/stage-4-prostate-cancer/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20377972

    https://www.cancer.org/cancer/types/prostate-cancer/about/new-research.html#:~:text=PARP%20inhibitors%2C%20such%20as%20olaparib,in%20a%20DNA%20repair%20gene.

    Dave 3+4

  • Adice
    Adice Member Posts: 27 Member
    #3

    I went to the Mayo and he referred me back here saying the drugs would be the same. I will try to get thru my 6 rounds of chemo,lupron, and nubeqa and see where things are.It is just that I feel punched in the mouth at every turn. If there is a pos or neg result I seem to always get the neg answer. I figured I would fight thru the Lupron for however long then maybe get off and regain some of my masculinity. Then today he said forever and my heart fell. Thank you for listening and the encouragement. it really helps

  • Forherself
    Forherself Member Posts: 1,010 Member
    edited June 25 #4

    Hi there, I read this board and don't comment often. But Adice you are painting a very bleak picture, but as a woman I can say you would have a good chance of having a relationship. It might be different than before but still enjoyable. You can also talk to your doctor about your concerns, whether you family doctor or the urologist. Ask if they can refer you to a therapist who can advise you.

  • Josephg
    Josephg Member Posts: 443 Member
    #5

    I have to say, Adice, as Forherself stated above, there is no reason why you cannot have another quality relationship. IMO, those folks who think that an active sex life is required to have a quality relationship are simply fooling themselves about the true value of relationships. If you truly believe that way, I respect you for your opinion.

  • Clevelandguy
    Clevelandguy Member Posts: 1,148 Member
    #6
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1716237#Comment_1716237

    Hi,

    If you don’t mind me asking where in your body has your cancer metastasized?

    Dave 3+4

  • Marlon
    Marlon Member Posts: 85 Member
    #7

    Adice, dont hesitate to include mental health as part of your treatment. A good counselor and even meds can help.

  • Adice
    Adice Member Posts: 27 Member
    #8
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1716254#Comment_1716254

    I don't mind. I appreciate the interest. Mets are in several lymph nodes but some high ones like para aortic

  • centralPA
    centralPA Member Posts: 321 Member
    #9

    @Adice , how is your day going right now, at this moment?

    I’m not talking about how your thoughts of the future are going, you are clear about that. I’m talking about as you read this. Feel ok? Comfortable surroundings? No one banging on your door? Pain managed, if you have any? Cold beer within reach if you are thirsty?

  • Adice
    Adice Member Posts: 27 Member
    #10
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1716260#Comment_1716260

    Healthwise feeling OK just scared to death ,chemo starts tomorrow. Want to get busy killing cancer cells but don't know what to expect. Better than yesterday when I wanted to drive my car off of a cliff. My side hurts but that has been>20yrs

  • centralPA
    centralPA Member Posts: 321 Member
    #11

    I hear you, shipmate. A great insight I learned was that all fear is of the future. We don’t fear the present, we just experience it. So…set your course and then live in the ’now’. It’s the only place we ever truly are, anyway.

  • Adice
    Adice Member Posts: 27 Member
    #12

    First Chemo today. Not ashamed to admit that I am terrified

  • On_A_Journey
    On_A_Journey Member Posts: 126 Member
    #13
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/328194/dont-see-the-point

    Did you ever watch NCIS? If you did, you would understand this: You are DiNozzo, I am Gibbs, and I'm delivering an almighty slap to the back of your head.

    You have implied that your sex life is more important to you than your actual life. You are thinking with your 'little' head instead of your proper one. You are 73, not 23. Don't you think that you've had a good run? I'm 61 and wouldn't know what regular sex is anymore due to a combination of factors - ED was present before my RP, then salvage radiation diminished things further, then pudendal nerve damage from a separate procedure combined with almost zero libido finished things off. But my wife and I are about to celebrate our 40th anniversary and all things considered, we are happy. Dammit, I'm MORE than happy! I have an inner glow mainly due to self-acceptance of other things that I won't detail here, which override any negatives. And I can still please her.

  • Adice
    Adice Member Posts: 27 Member
    #14
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1716277#Comment_1716277

    A little misunderstanding. It is not the sex but I am single and was hoping to find someone to finish my life with.Our generation placed a lot of weight on masculinity of males in all of it's forms. Just afraid no one would be willing to hop on board this ride knowing all it involves.

  • On_A_Journey
    On_A_Journey Member Posts: 126 Member
    #15

    ^ Your generation was WRONG.

  • Forherself
    Forherself Member Posts: 1,010 Member
    #16
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1716278#Comment_1716278

    My sister has a boyfriend who has prostate cancer, and had treatment, and they look very happy. I come to this board because my brother is newly diagnosed with prostate cancer and there is so much good information and support here.

  • Josephg
    Josephg Member Posts: 443 Member
    #17
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1716278#Comment_1716278

    I'm about your age, and I believe that MALES in our generation placed a lot of weight on masculinity of males in all its forms. I do not believe that FEMALES consistently saw it that way, and I'm even more positive that they do not see it that was as they age.

  • Old Salt
    Old Salt Member Posts: 1,467 Member
    edited June 26 #18

    I am a frequent 'looker' on an Advanced Prostate Cancer forum and I can tell you that there are many there who are enjoying life as it is and happy to be alive. Some of them are even working full-time; too young to retire.

  • Momschooling
    Momschooling Member Posts: 112 Member
    #19
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/328194/dont-see-the-point

    My husband started this battle at 57, the first year on adt was rough but after that he adjusted and has been able to enjoy life, not exactly the same but there's still happiness. Unfortunately, he's now mcrpc but we now look at the days where he was only on adt as positive and gave us years vs months if he had done nothing.

  • Marlon
    Marlon Member Posts: 85 Member
    #20

    adice, I have a lot of single female friends, family and acquaintances in that age range. And mostly what they say they want out of a late life relationship, is companionship, conversation and a sense of humor. Sex and intimacy is secondary if at all. You can be all that and have relationships, it's just different than when we were teens.

  • Adice
    Adice Member Posts: 27 Member
    #21

    Day 5 after first chemo some aches and pains, feeling very weak. Not horrible but the Dr doesn't want me to touch my Grandkids , swim in the pool or go to a busy store like Walmart.Going crazy like solitary confinement. I miss my life

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