Needing advice/support for my boyfriend

Girly03
Girly03 Member Posts: 1 *
edited June 10 in Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin) #1

My boyfriend is 24 and was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. By the time they even started chemo, it was everywhere and stage four. I’ve been with him for ten months total now, eight of which he has been sick for. He’s had 9 out of 12 chemo sessions and his last pet scan came back clean, so technically, he’s in remission now.
Recently, his side effects have become worse. He has terrible neuropathy, can’t sleep, muscle atrophy, fatigue, and his mental state is at it’s all time low. We’re out of options and it’s putting strain on me now. He’s begun to take out his anger and frustration on me.
Does anyone know anything we can do? He won’t go to therapy or couples counseling and refuses to even look into support groups. He already had major people anxiety before this and now is in pain 24/7. We’ve tried baths, icy hot, heated blankets, and elevation. He’s on tramadol and it does nothing now.
He’s having more issues with being confused and forgetful now as well. His depression and anger is worsening by the day.
I don’t want to leave him. I’m not going to be the girl who left because her boyfriend got sick, which is why I’m here now I guess. If anyone has any advice for either side, please please let me know. I’ll take anything I can get. And please don’t hate me for struggling. I know that he was always be in more pain than I can imagine, but I’m allowed to struggle too

Comments

  • po18guy
    po18guy Member Posts: 1,499 Member
    #2

    First, you must be safe. He is experiencing rather severe post treatment symptoms. Second, he must have family. Have you spoken with them? It seems clear that you cannot help at this point, as he is beyond everything you have tried. I would contact local, county or state assistance authorities to see what is available for him. But, his behavior is spiraling and at this point I am more concerned for you and your welfare. Reach out to the hospital or cancer facility where he was treated and ask about assistance for post-treatment effects. First, YOU must be safe.

  • ShadyGuy
    ShadyGuy Member Posts: 920 Member
    #3

    IMHO - There is no excuse for his behavior. Catch him at a time when he is at his less aggressive and read him the riot act. Almost everyone on here has gone thru chemo one or more times. At 24 he is not a "Boy" but an adult male. He should behave as one. Of course I am saying this having never heard his side of the story. But mental and physical abuse are never acceptable.

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